Should I be proud or angry??

Proud and I would be complaining and escalating to governors about their failure to deal with racism. This is a serious failing.

I mean brilliant that he sorted him out but probably a little lacking in political diplomacy as a kick to the head is very emotive. I mean I think he could hurt him in many less provocative ways. My son did similar but with his boxing skills - after lots of provocation it’s practically doing the other kid a favour.

Never head, as other's have said, regardless of how controlled you are, you do not control the way the other person falls and this is how fatalities occur. Far, far better to just go straight for the bollocks and then gently lower them to the floor

I am interested to know why this particular child appears to have a get out of jail free card when it comes to racism ? How have the school been dealing with it up to this point , if at all ?

The school has failed him really badly by the sounds of it. I'd never condone violence normally but if no one will help you then often the only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them.

I'd allow him to be punished - he did wrong even if he had good reason, but I'd be giving the school hell over the other boy too.

Racist behaviour is a serious safeguarding issue in schools, find out who the DSL is and ask them what is going to be done about it. I'd be furious.

It is the point.
If the racist had been injured - or worse, even with a controlled kick, then the op and her son would be at the police station right now. He would be facing charges.

As the mother of 2 now adult sons i am 100% on your sons side and bloody well good for him!!!!!!
I always told my boys to walk away and never cause trouble but if they had to retaliate then to do it twice as hard back and i would sort it out .
I would be shouting from the roof tops to that head about the racist abuse to your son and i would not let it go .
Make sure the school knows what and when that shit has been up to and demand to know how he will be punished and how your son will be 'protected ' from further abuse verbal and physical .
You should be very proud of your boy , i hope this gets sorted out fairly and quickly.

Does the school have a racist policy?
when is the investigation into them not following there own policy going to take place?

these are quest that need to be asked

attack verbally now and don’t stop until they understand they failed in their obligation

Not the point. Everyone is going on about how wrong Son was to kick the bully, once and in a controlled way; the bully had been using violence against Son for quite a while and is lucky none of it had serious consequences, isn't he. Suppose when he pushed Son over, Son had cracked his skull! We ought to be being shocked about that possibility, shouldn't we.

Admit I don’t know anything about Jiu Jitsu only the training my family members underwent for years where one of the 5 tenants was Guk Gi, which is the ability to control one's body, mind, emotions, impulses, and behavior. - of course all teachers were available to discuss with students how difficult it could be to control one’s emotions and actions and I have acknowledged that when there is horrible bullying going on this will be difficult to control oneself - this does not negate though the fact that there may be repercussions to his actions ( I have not mentioned how I personally feel only that this may be an issue for his future training.

Absolutely, but there are reasons we don't operate an eye for an eye punishment in this country

How lucky the racist bully was that his shoving OP's son around didn't cause serious damage when he shoved him hard against the lockers, eh? OP's son might easily have hit his head as a result of that uncontrolled violence.

I'm inclined to agree.
I don't blame your son for finally putting the racist bully on the floor, but there are safer ways to do so.
Be proud of him for handling the abuse as well as he did for so long, be proud of him for standing up to him, but I wouldn't be OK with the way that he did so.

We had a similar situation, my son retaliated but unfortunately for the aggressor my son has done kickboxing since he was 4 (now 12)
the school put him in isolation but not the other child who actually started it as cctv showed. I backed my son! I understood they had a zero tolerance approach to fighting and that’s why he was in isolation but just because my son was skilled enough to throw a few kicks and punches whereas the other child had pushed and shoved he got the punishment. I told the school that he was not in trouble with me and I expect him to always stick up for himself! It’s exactly how bullying starts. Your son did the right thing and I’ll put money on that child never bothering him again!!

100% proud. I'm even proud of him! As a fellow black belt in Taekwondo, he did what he was trained to do, defend himself. Ofcourse avoiding conflict is good advice but sometimes self defence is needed. He could have done far worse but stopped after one hit. I've competed also and know how it can be hard to stop/be softer once the adrenaline kicks in, especially if the other person has been abit underhand.

This is 100% a school issue. They could have prevented it. They should have made sure your son didn't need to defend himself. He's there to learn, not to be bullied. They are the ones at fault, alongside the bully. Your child did what they couldn't, he defended himself in an unwarranted attack.

Good lad for having the confidence

Fwiw, I wouldn't use a kick to the head as my first port of call though as it's unpredictable in its outcome. There's many people who have died from even one punch, depending on where they were hit and how they landed. I was told, because we're trained, we'll be more under scrutiny from the police than a general person would be, if it went wrong. But hopefully his reputation now will stop any further bullying.

You definitely need to hold the school to account for their recording of racial slurs. I work in a school and this should absolutely be dealt with - race is a protected characteristic and I believe that racism remains on a student's record until they leave school. If the school aren't recording this, you should contact the governors.

That counts for nothing if he cracks his head against a locker and an aneurysm occurs. He can control the force of impact, but not the resulting fall.

I would ask the school about the recording of previous incidents - put a lot of pressure on them to find out how they have dealt with these incidents. Don't be fobbed off by excuses either. If you need to go to the LA about the issue.

In Scotland we can take out a court order after three incidents have happened which basically means the child who is bullying cannot go near the child he is bullying or he could be arrested. The police would definitely be involved in any new incidents.

Next time tell your son to wait til the boy is outside school and take care of him.

Fwiw my husband is a senior black belt and an instructor. He would’ve also kicked the lad in the head. Sometimes the only way to stop a bully is to physically stop them, and to do so in a controlled fashion is probation the best outcome for everyone. If you have a paper trail of reporting the build up I would collate it and send it to school as evidence that this was a response to a long line of targeted bullying.

I hope your ds is ok and is back in school soon! 💐

Its good that your son now knows that he can stand up for himself. As the world becomes more divided, insecure people will select those that have obvious difference to what is percieved to be common will be more at risk. That will be race, but also gender "non-conformity".

You are right to be angry that your son felt threatened enough to resort to violence to defend himself. You should talk to him about not using violence in anger just to make sure that actually he wasn't reacting. Maybe tell his Tae Kwan Do leader so he can have a chat through with it.

You are also right to be angry that the school is not taking the provocation seriously. If they do not handle this well than that kid will just continue to take out his anger on other people.

But you can also be proud too. You son is able to defend himself, and he will learn from this what the threshold is. Good for him... sometimes people don't learn until they are given a slap.

I’d be proud too !

Play stupid games win stupid prizes. I'm on his side.

I'd probably have a conversation about appropriate force, and that hitting the head is probably not the best idea - but I would 100% back his actions. He retaliated when the school had failed to keep him safe.

It sounds like there were a lot more than 2 wrongs

Do you have a very low level of reading comprehension?

OP the bully totally had it coming. Well done to your DS 👏 Sounds to me that the powers that be at the school are racist too 😢

I definitely agree that your son was wholly entitled to fight back - and I agree that the abuse he received was outrageous- but I think a kick to the head was too dangerous.

Fuck around and find out. The bully did this and found out.

You should support him 100% he has done nothing wrong and has shown amazing restraint. He's followed his training to the letter.

Tell the school it is their fault for failing to address bullying and racism. I hope that racist little fucker is suitably chased.

Do not feel a second's guilt OP!