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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that DM is being unreasonable here

27 replies

Emilyinspace · 13/01/2026 13:47

DM is a reasonably fit 76 but has reverted into wanting to be treated like an ‘old lady’ of late - think wanting lots of lifts, visits, phone calls etc.

I had a small op tuesday last week and DM knew about this as I spoke to her sunday beforehand and saw her during the week before but she is annoyed because I didn’t ring her beforehand or on the day. She doesn’t seem to click that phones work both ways !!!

Shes miffed as she says she’s wanted to come up with meals etc and to be honest Im relieved as I really didn’t want her coming up - there is always a big palaver involved as she wants lifts (from DH in this case who will be busy organising teens , dogs and working) and even if she says she’s ok to get the bus, there will endless jabs around how she was left to get a bus home (I am still listening 10 years later to how DH once let her get the bus in the rain - it’s door to door and 15 mins)

AIBU unreasonable to think that if she wanted to speak to me she should have called, I was the one having the op and the one in pain afterwards

OP posts:
RollonSpringplease · 13/01/2026 13:52

Why is she behaving like that? I'm 76 and I won't rely on my DC for anything. Two live near me and one 17 miles away. She needs to give her head a wobble unless she is developing dementia. I go to extreme lengths to avoid asking my DC for any help because if I live another 20 years I might need to involve them and don't want to use up their goodwill.

ShetlandishMum · 13/01/2026 13:51

Tell her and move on. Of course you are right.