Wasn't allowed to use disabled toilet despite the fact no other toilet was available. AIBU?

ok this thread has prompted me to look up what an actual changing places toilet is because some argued that incontinence / really-need-to-fucking-go means you can use any accessible toilet

and maybe I would be swayed by this argument for your usual accessible toilet

this however is a whole new world of toilets - very specialised, with very high tech equipment
https://www.changing-places.org/pages/view/why-are-changing-places-toilets-important

yeah, no chance

But if the other toilets don't exist, or are closed, what are people supposed to do?

I fully support disabled people having access to toilets kitted out for them.

I don't support disabled people who think their needs trump another person's all of the time, under any circumstances whatsoever.

If you, or any disabled person, need to wait because someone is already in the toilet, that person will only have used it out of desperation.

Not all people with a mobility issue have urgency, or need to change a stoma bag. Some will be happy and not inconvenienced at all by having to wait 2 minutes.

People's needs differ. Some need more space if they have a wheelchair.

Others need a toilet fast because of some medical issue.

Other people need a toilet when the others are closed or out of order.

No one should judge, because people with IBS, or bladder diseases, or who are on medication that makes them pee more or have diarrhea don't go around with a label on their heads.

If anyone uses a loo with 'accessibility' it's because they need to.

Sorry, going to disagree!

This sign indicates that the toilet facility is a Changing Places toilet, which means it includes specialized equipment and space designed for people with profound and multiple disabilities. Unlike standard accessible toilets, Changing Places facilities offer:

• Ceiling hoist: to assist with safe transfers from wheelchair to toilet or changing bench
• Adult-sized changing bench: for people who need to lie down to be changed
• Peninsular toilet: with space on both sides for carers to assist
• Extra room: for wheelchair users and up to two assistants
• Accessible layout: designed for dignity, safety, and ease of use

In short, this is not just a large toilet — it’s a lifeline for people who cannot use any other public toilet safely or hygienically. If you’re not someone who needs these features, it’s best to leave it available for those who do

Yes a minority who didn’t need to use it at that particular moment. It has a regular toilet in it for disabled use. It’s a dual toilet - accessible with a changing places included. That’s evident from the wheelchair symbol along side it. Therefore the OP is actually entitled to use an accessible toilet if she needs it which she did.

Changing Places toilets are not “bigger accessible toilets.” They are medical‑grade facilities for people who cannot use anything else.

So the question becomes: Should someone with alternatives use the only toilet that some people can use?

Most people, once they understand the purpose, agree the answer is no.

Have you read what I wrote? I clearly said ‘If he has asked the OP to justify why she needs access to a toilet then he will be doing it to disabled people and I’m pretty sure a disabled person doesn’t need to answer several questions to justify why they need a shit a particular toilet?’

I didn’t say anything about involving the paper because the OP couldn’t use the toilet. I said to involve them because whoever is in control of these toilets will be putting disabled people in the position they put the OP in and that’s not okay.

Maybe actually read comments before replying to them, you’ve monopolised the thread the last few pages and are just replying to things with your own agenda rather than actually reading what people have written and responding appropriately.

What did you end up doing OP?

Same and Same.

Im totally baffled by this thread.

Some changing places facilities don’t have a toilet, if that was the case then that’s fine. But that wasn’t the case here. This one does. (Plenty of people who require hoists can use a toilet btw. They aren’t mutually exclusive things)
accessible toilets are for anyone who has an access need for a toilet that a standard toilet can’t provide. That includes people with urge issues. Even those people who don’t consider themselves disabled. You don’t get a welcome to disability starter pack with a radar key in it, you just buy one when it becomes clear you have a need.

I can understand the person on the phone not allowing OP in as they are probably told only those who are disabled (or say they are!) but the very concept of only being allowed access by phoning up is dehumanising nonsense and something I flagged to my local councillor about that toilet.

And for the person who said you should only get access if you have a blue badge…blue badges are for mobility challenges. Toilets that are accessible are for toilet related needs. They are not the same thing. There will be plenty of people who need BBs who can use normal toilets, and plenty who need accessible toilets but don’t have mobility needs. You have a fundamental lack of understanding of how disability works.

So they were actually refusing to even let actual disabled people use it as they wouldn’t let people suffering from incontinence use it? How fucking ignorant, not all disabilities are visible!

Then you’ve listened to nothing that ‘users’ or carers have said here.

This isn’t a convenient toilet for anyone to use. It’s the only toilet a minority can use for miles around.

Yeah Your garden hopefully

I have to say I really do find the whole public toilet situation in the UK appalling in general. And I find it even more ridiculous that you are actually suggesting a grown women should have to buy a shewee so she can have a piss in the bushes instead on being able to use a perfectly usuable private toilet. I completely understand keeping this toilet locked during the busy summer months when the rest are open but this was the only toilet available, no one else needed it. She should not have been declined access.

OP doesn’t have to consider herself disabled to use an accessible toilet. She does have a continence issue, she said so.

If it’s the only accessible toilet in the facility it changes nothing.

And when you need to run in to the toilet because your loved one is on the floor and can't open the door "access" is what you need!

Some people who know they have continence issues will go and buy themselves the necessary products.

Some, with or without products, will set out for a walk for instance across a moorland, or open field, where there are not toilets nor even bushes to hide behind. They cannot expect local taxpayers to provide public toilets everywhere anyone could possibly choose to walk. Incidentally, nothing is 'free'. Someone else pays, if the users don't.

Everyone has to do their best to provide for themselves, or else to plan for themselves. It does nobody any harm to set off wearing ample protection, just in case of emergency. It would not be heavy or bulky enough to make it hard to walk. If the wearer reaches home before it is needed, so much the better, but at least they have had the security of an 'insurance' pad.

Now you've seen posters explain who these changing places facilities are designed for do you now agree they aren't for those caught short and a tena lady will do going forward for any leakage?

I think the fact that it was a Changing Places facility makes a huge difference, these are specialist facilities that are few and far between.

I think your complaint should be about the main facilities being closed off.

Sorry - desperate to WEE not see (!!)

I do think it’s important that spaces like this aren’t just for the desperate to see - sorry OP - and it’s brilliant that you were honest.
I’m the mother of a severely disabled DD that requires hoisting or lifting when there’s no hoist.
At almost everywhere I go with DD there are no (I mean zero) usable facilities and I have to lie here on the pissy ground. She’s 27.5 kilos and almost as tall as me.
She can’t stand at all or sit on a toilet.
Train journeys are horrendous (she’s doubly incontinent and nonverbal) so the thrill of getting on the train with the battle to get her firstly on a train, get people moved from the wheelchair spaces and the bam! She has diahorrea (probably from excitement!) .. I wish there were more of these facilities.

There’s plenty of argument for keeping public toilets open more than they are - if I’m out without her (a rarity) I factor my needs as a menopausal woman having had 2 children into what I do. When I go out with her I factor in how much back pain I can handle with lifting her (deadweight) of the ground.

You could of course have lied and said you were disabled - but you didn’t. And that’s a great thing.

If you had said you were, I’m sure the staff would have opened the door without intrusive questioning

A customer asked me to look up where the nearest changing place’s facilities were last week. I work in a town about 12 miles from a large city. I found 2 of the toilets within a 10 mile area, one was 8 miles away in the middle of a park and the other was in the next town, about 8 miles in the other direction.

If one of those was vandalised or out of order they would have to travel to the city. Not much fun in a soiled adult nappy or pants. That’s why they don’t let anyone in who doesn’t need them.

YABU basically you are spouting rubbish! The number to call for remote access won't be so that any person, even a disabled one, can be let in at whatever hour they like. It will be there because where other toilets are usually left open when they are open, the disabled toilet should be kept locked on the radar key 24/7 to stop people using it for drug taking etc, or going in to vandalise the equipment.

The number will be there in case something goes wrong when the toilets are open. The If the radar lock jams or breaks, or if someone takes ill or falls etc in the toilet. It won't be there for anyone disabled or not, to just phone because they need a pee!

' I also can only manage hourly without a wee, but I still manage to walk my dog etc. without having to use a changing place or disabled toilet'

This op. Take note!

Enough people have said now: your issue (if there is one) is that the regular toilets were closed.

As others have said, Changing places’ were specifically designed for those that are unable to use a regular toilet.

Our son has officially opened a couple of these toilets now, as we’ve been campaigning for years. For those of you that can’t imagine, think of changing an adult on the dirty toilet floor, after two of you have lifted him out of the wheelchair. Finding his pad (nappy) hasn’t contained his bowel movement so it’s all up his back (sorry to be so graphic).

These changing places are a godsend. We can now plan visits to places knowing we can hoist him onto a changing bench and shower if necessary.

As others have said, they have to be locked because some members of the general public will vandalise them. Our local hospital decided to make it available to everyone. Last time we had an appointment, the hoist wasn’t charged up and the changing bench was broken, rendering the whole place useless. It will take months to fix. He remained in his soiled pad until we got home. The only alternative would have been to find a mobile hoist in the hospital and a kindly ward to let us use a spare bed (and everyone knows there are no hospital beds).

So to OP, thank you for being honest and not using the changing places toilet. As someone in your position, I go to the toilet every time I see one. I also can only manage hourly without a wee, but I still manage to walk my dog etc. without having to use a changing place or disabled toilet.