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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wasn't allowed to use disabled toilet despite the fact no other toilet was available. AIBU?

345 replies

fakenamefornow · 13/01/2026 13:00

Seaside town with beach that stretches about 1.5 miles away from town centre with just flats and houses facing beach, ie no pubs or cafés that might let me use the toilet. It's about 10am rainy January morning, nobody else about apart from about two/three people and dogs on the beach.
Half way along on seafront is a public toilet block. Both mens and womens shuttered up and locked. Disabled toilet, locked, had a phone number to call for remote access so they could let people in. Called number and despite me pleading that I was desperate for the loo (I was) and pointing out no others available, I was refused absolutely point blank access because I wasn't disabled.
I don't think this is fair at all, but what do others think?
YANBU - she should have let you in.
YABU - no way should she have let you in regardless of how much you needed the loo.

OP posts:
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9
Coffeeishot · 13/01/2026 13:13

Why were the other toilets closed? I.imagine the person on the phone has procedures they have to follow, disabled facilities are few and far between that they need to monitor use, i am disabled i would hate to phone somewhere if i needed a piss how undignified, i would also contact your council to enquire about the public toilets. Sorry that happened to you.

TheNightingalesStarling · 13/01/2026 13:13

Probably controlled that way to stop it being used for drugs, sex and homelessness.

However the gatekeeping is wrong. You can't tell a disability over the phone

CloakedInGucci · 13/01/2026 13:12

What an insane system. Do they take the word of whoever phones or are they making people stand outside the loo and justify themselves so that the person can judge whether or not they qualify?

MissMoneyFairy · 13/01/2026 13:12

I'd ring the council and complain that all the toilets are locked, including access to the disabled toilet, id also contact the local newspaper and councillor.

TheLadyofShallots · 13/01/2026 13:11

fakenamefornow · 13/01/2026 13:09

And I was really desperate. I was told doesn't matter, if you have the shits, incontinence, young children etc. The toilet is only for disabled people. I even asked if I could speak to a manager who might have some discretion, told - no and that they only say I couldn't use it anyway. It was a 'changing places (?) toilet if that makes a difference and in Weston-super-Mare. I think the person was just being mean not letting me use it. I don't see who benefits or loses anything by saying 'no'.

So this is a case where you have to lie.
Because they have created a system that is a nonsense.

ImSweetEnough · 13/01/2026 13:11

What kind of person denies someone using a toilet under those circumstances? I would find out who that person was and exactly what the procedure is that needs to change within that company.

Utterly ridiculous.

shouldofgotamortage · 13/01/2026 13:10

Considering it was off peak times and raining and shit weather, doubt any right minded disabled person would of been down there. Yanbu they were being a twat and I say that as a disabled person!

Original poster
fakenamefornow · 13/01/2026 13:09

And I was really desperate. I was told doesn't matter, if you have the shits, incontinence, young children etc. The toilet is only for disabled people. I even asked if I could speak to a manager who might have some discretion, told - no and that they only say I couldn't use it anyway. It was a 'changing places (?) toilet if that makes a difference and in Weston-super-Mare. I think the person was just being mean not letting me use it. I don't see who benefits or loses anything by saying 'no'.

OP posts:
TheLadyofShallots · 13/01/2026 13:09

fakenamefornow · 13/01/2026 13:04

It didn't have a radar key. You phone a number and they can buzz you in. You have to argue your case with a real person. I just didn't lie and say I was disabled.

That's crazy.

What if someone doesn't have a mobile on them? Or can't use one? Like a very elderly person or someone with limited mobility.

I'd write to your local MP and CEO of the council where you live and complain. Toilets should be accessible to anyone on a seafront.

ComtesseDeSpair · 13/01/2026 13:08

This is a shitty system all around - no disabled person should have to phone and justify - out loud, in public - what their disability is and why they should be able to use a toilet. The call handler has no way of judging it and it’s demeaning. I’d contact whoever operates the facilities and complain as much.

JohnBullshit · 13/01/2026 13:08

I say I'm disabled if that's the only toilet available. I do have a disability that prevents me walking long distances to an alternative toilet, but I don't normally need to use the disabled toilet, and don't if there's another facility close by. I've never been questioned about it, not that it's something that happens a lot.

Climbingrosexx · 13/01/2026 13:07

TheLadyofShallots · 13/01/2026 13:02

You can buy a Radar key online for about £4 that you can use.
I don't know how someone on the end of the phone could know you were not disabled. I'd have said something like IBS and needing a loo urgently.

Disabled doesn't mean just mobility issues. You could have a health issue around needing a toilet urgently or having to change a stoma bag.

Edited

Agree with this! A while back it was thought I had inflammatory bowel disease and was ill for a long time. If I was at risk of not being able to use a toilet I would have become a recluse.

FuzzyWolf · 13/01/2026 13:05

Some people are jobsworths or let a tiny amount of power go to their heads. I’d have let you use the toilet and I think most people would have.

MyThreeWords · 13/01/2026 13:05

I suppose your complaint should actually be about the fact that the other toilets were both locked up. I can see why someone at the other end of the phone couldn't be expected to break policy, even though the upshot in this case was a bit daft. They were just an employee following rules.

CandiedPrincess · 13/01/2026 13:04

A toilet is a toilet. If it's free what's the bloody harm.

Climbingrosexx · 13/01/2026 13:04

Absolutely should have let you in and if there is anyone to complain to i would. I understand those with disabilities should take priority but that doesn't mean everyone else should risk the indignity of an accident if there are no other options.

Original poster
fakenamefornow · 13/01/2026 13:04

It didn't have a radar key. You phone a number and they can buzz you in. You have to argue your case with a real person. I just didn't lie and say I was disabled.

OP posts:
ShetlandishMum · 13/01/2026 13:04

How can a person know about the need of a handicap toilet by phone? I would have claimed to fit. A lot of handicaps aren't visible.
I would complain. It makes no sense to have remote access and not grant it.

TheLadyofShallots · 13/01/2026 13:02

You can buy a Radar key online for about £4 that you can use.
I don't know how someone on the end of the phone could know you were not disabled. I'd have said something like IBS and needing a loo urgently.

Disabled doesn't mean just mobility issues. You could have a health issue around needing a toilet urgently or having to change a stoma bag.

Gowlett · 13/01/2026 13:02

I think it’s a case of “computer says no” here.