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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want time off work

84 replies

takingthepissoutofme · 13/01/2026 11:53

Through events I can't go into as will be outing, I have no one to cover me at work, holidays, sickness, appointments. I did have someone who could cover, but no longer here. There is a plan to replace that person but at current it's not possible. We are one of several remote units and our HO is based in another part of the country some 6 hours away. No one from another site or HO can cover me as they can't commute and none will agree to stay.

I have not had any time off for 6 months and i'm losing the will to live.

I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 13:28

AuntieDolly · 03/02/2026 10:15

You work in a manufacturing environment by yourself? What would happen if you had an accident?

No, I run a team, i'm not on my own - but if I did have an accident it would be down to head office to sort cover

OP posts:
Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 13:27

IwishIcouldconfess · 03/02/2026 13:15

You say you're the manager, well manage the situation.
Not rocket science is it??

have you read my post - I can't manage my manager and head office

OP posts:
IwishIcouldconfess · 03/02/2026 13:15

You say you're the manager, well manage the situation.
Not rocket science is it??

Bushmillsbabe · 03/02/2026 13:11

takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 08:02

Update - I took a week off sick, all hell broke loose and they had to fly someone down to cover me, operations were halted for 24 hrs

Have requested holidays for March. If denied will take it further.

Sometimes you just have to do this. My DH kept being denied leave as he was carrying most of the load amongst several less diligent people, he was burnt out and GP signed him off sick for 3 weeks. Logged back in today to find that him being off has meant other people have stepped up, his manager realised just how much he was doing and redistributed some responsibilities and gave some people a kick up the butt to do their job. It was honestly the best thing he could have done. Previously even when off he would be getting several calls a day to solve others issues, but to her credit his line manager told the team very clearly they were not to contact him with any queries.

Sometimes you have to force their hand. I hope things improve for you OP

Comefromaway · 03/02/2026 12:29

I work in Payroll. Although you can agree to carry over unused leave you absolutely HAVE to take at least 20 days per year.

It's better for you to take it than make yourself ill and potentially be even shorter staffed.

AuntieDolly · 03/02/2026 10:15

You work in a manufacturing environment by yourself? What would happen if you had an accident?

Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 08:02

Update - I took a week off sick, all hell broke loose and they had to fly someone down to cover me, operations were halted for 24 hrs

Have requested holidays for March. If denied will take it further.

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 14/01/2026 10:07

takingthepissoutofme · 14/01/2026 09:37

Not in a union. Its in a kind of manufacturing environment, not shifts, set days and times.

I'm going to speak to them today, i've taken on board what everyone has said and I know this can't continue, I just feel like i have no support and keep getting fobbed off

Show quote history

It doesn't matter how fobbed off you are. You are the manager, not the bloody owner. Stop cancelling your own leave. Book your leave, take your leave.... it's that simple. The Companh don't give a rats ass about you or the rest of the staff so stop giving them more than is necessary.

Anxiety wont go away by burning the hell out.

Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 14/01/2026 09:37

TartanMammy · 14/01/2026 09:27

Legally you are entitled to your breaks and your holidays. Are you in a union? They would help you with this. You can work forever without time off, it's not healthy or safe. Your employer had a duty to make sure you can take your holidays and if that means they need to close while you are off then so be it.

What are your working days/hours? What kind of work is it i.e. office, retail, care?

Not in a union. Its in a kind of manufacturing environment, not shifts, set days and times.

I'm going to speak to them today, i've taken on board what everyone has said and I know this can't continue, I just feel like i have no support and keep getting fobbed off

OP posts:
TartanMammy · 14/01/2026 09:27

Legally you are entitled to your breaks and your holidays. Are you in a union? They would help you with this. You can work forever without time off, it's not healthy or safe. Your employer had a duty to make sure you can take your holidays and if that means they need to close while you are off then so be it.

What are your working days/hours? What kind of work is it i.e. office, retail, care?

Shedmistress · 14/01/2026 09:07

Book some time off and tell your manager they need to arrange something.

jamandcustard · 14/01/2026 09:03

You’re causing your own problems here. If you’re sick, stay home. If you’ve booked leave, take it. Nobody respects a martyr.

MadamCholetsbonnet · 14/01/2026 08:42

Nobody likes or appreciates a martyr.

Book holiday. Take holiday.

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 14/01/2026 08:34

Quit. Find another job.

Applespearsandpeaches · 14/01/2026 08:33

What you do is book time off, with appropriate notice, warn HO no one is covering, then go off. There’s no urgency to them sorting it out while you’re effectively doing it for them by cancelling your leave. Their recruitment timeline delay is not your problem.

What are you anxious is going to happen?

Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 14/01/2026 08:28

Yes, I have cancelled leave, I felt like I had no choice. I understand that was my first mistake, by offering at the first hurdle. Been told can carry these over as a one off. Can't start recruitment process and won't authorise it until end March/April. Yes, I am being a bit of a Martyr. I am already looking for another job as I have come to realise I am just a number.

The fact I get anxious has played a big part in this too.

OP posts:
jamandcustard · 14/01/2026 08:18

MikeRafone · 14/01/2026 08:13

Contact ACAS for advice on this matter as it doesn’t sound legal

OP is the one cancelling their own leave and choosing to come to work when she’s sick - she’s not being forced.

Miloarmadillo2 · 14/01/2026 08:16

Are you an employee? Then you have rights to time off for annual leave and if you are unwell. Book the leave, inform your line manager, let the shit hit the fan if necessary. Stop being a martyr.

MikeRafone · 14/01/2026 08:13

Contact ACAS for advice on this matter as it doesn’t sound legal

MindYourUsage · 14/01/2026 08:11

This is not complicated Sounds like you have two options:

  1. Take the annual leave you are entitled to and learn to manage your anxiety around that

or

  1. Never be off and Burn Out

Pick one.

jamandcustard · 14/01/2026 08:07

Why are you cancelling all your leave and coming in sick?

SoScarletItWas · 14/01/2026 07:51

takingthepissoutofme · 14/01/2026 07:30

I am the Manager here. My assistant manager 'left'. Had cover but no good. stringing me along saying it will be this date, it will be that date. I have cancelled holidays and I have come in when ill. I know I should grow a pair and just go off but it could cause more trouble than its worth, and I do suffer with anxiety sometimes and this would put it through the roof.

Kindly, you are being a martyr and work won’t care when you burn out.

By not taking leave (cancelling leave?! Bonkers) and coming in when you should be off, you are solving the problem for them. They have no incentive to sort it - you are sorting it. They will not thank you.

Put yourself first. As per PPs you are legally entitled to leave. You must be owed loads and it will be ‘use it or lose it’ each holiday year.

As you’re the manager why can’t you start the recruitment process / sort a temp?

Walkacrossthesand · 14/01/2026 07:45

It’s the person/people at HO who need to deal with this. Sadly, as long as you keep going, you make it easier for them to bury their heads in the sand.
If your last leave was 6 months ago, how much annual leave do you have remaining, when does your leave year finish? What does your contract say about leave, carrying forward to next year etc? It’s often a ‘use it or lose it’ scenario.
Make a plan and send to HO - I have x days annual leave to be taken by Y date, I will be taking it on Z dates, cover must be found. Non-negotiable. One of these people who ‘doesn’t want to stay’ might have to. Not your problem.
And maybe start looking for another job…

TheDandyLion · 14/01/2026 07:35

takingthepissoutofme · 14/01/2026 07:30

I am the Manager here. My assistant manager 'left'. Had cover but no good. stringing me along saying it will be this date, it will be that date. I have cancelled holidays and I have come in when ill. I know I should grow a pair and just go off but it could cause more trouble than its worth, and I do suffer with anxiety sometimes and this would put it through the roof.

But something has got to give. Don't let it be you before you break.