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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want time off work

84 replies

takingthepissoutofme · 13/01/2026 11:53

Through events I can't go into as will be outing, I have no one to cover me at work, holidays, sickness, appointments. I did have someone who could cover, but no longer here. There is a plan to replace that person but at current it's not possible. We are one of several remote units and our HO is based in another part of the country some 6 hours away. No one from another site or HO can cover me as they can't commute and none will agree to stay.

I have not had any time off for 6 months and i'm losing the will to live.

I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Windday · 04/02/2026 15:47

OP,
Contact ACAS for advice, so you know exactly how to respond to any pushback.

If possible get sick leave extended for at least another week too.
You need it.

Windday · 04/02/2026 15:46

BudgetBuster · 04/02/2026 15:19

See here... you have said you cancelled holidays! That's what we are all talking about.

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OP, probably means cancelled leave.
She may have just had wanted to take time off at home, hence being able to cancel taking it, without incurring costs of a cancelled paid for holiday.

BudgetBuster · 04/02/2026 15:19

takingthepissoutofme · 14/01/2026 07:30

I am the Manager here. My assistant manager 'left'. Had cover but no good. stringing me along saying it will be this date, it will be that date. I have cancelled holidays and I have come in when ill. I know I should grow a pair and just go off but it could cause more trouble than its worth, and I do suffer with anxiety sometimes and this would put it through the roof.

See here... you have said you cancelled holidays! That's what we are all talking about.

Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 04/02/2026 14:32

I have put in for leave, I am waiting for it to be approved, they are trying to get cover, I will be taking the leave, whether it is approved or not

I was asking for advice, thank you to those who gave it

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 04/02/2026 14:23

takingthepissoutofme · 04/02/2026 13:56

I'm not being a martyr, if I could afford to book a holiday believe me I would

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Just take your leave. Whether you sit your bedroom for the week or go to Malibu... who cares.

You are being a martyr by cancelling leave you are entitled to.

The company doesn't care about you now... they sure as hell won't care when you feel over stressed.

Pancakeflipper · 04/02/2026 14:04

Are you intending to be there for your entire life? Die at your desk?

You are dispensable.
You have to take time off. This is bonkers.

Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 04/02/2026 13:56

IwishIcouldconfess · 04/02/2026 12:21

Well book something
Stop being a martyr

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I'm not being a martyr, if I could afford to book a holiday believe me I would

OP posts:
IwishIcouldconfess · 04/02/2026 12:21

takingthepissoutofme · 04/02/2026 09:33

I had plans to have some time off, I don't have to go anywhere to take leave

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Well book something
Stop being a martyr

Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 04/02/2026 09:33

IwishIcouldconfess · 04/02/2026 09:20

But you've said twice you've cancelled leave?

So you had no plans, not made any arrangements??

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I had plans to have some time off, I don't have to go anywhere to take leave

OP posts:
IwishIcouldconfess · 04/02/2026 09:20

takingthepissoutofme · 04/02/2026 07:49

no but i'm not stupid enough to book holidays without getting ensuring I could get leave first.

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But you've said twice you've cancelled leave?

So you had no plans, not made any arrangements??

Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 04/02/2026 07:52

stichguru · 03/02/2026 19:52

If you are the owner of the company - how did you let your company get into this mess. Sort it out!
If you aren't the owner - just take leave and let the people paid more than you do their job and figure out how to cope without you!

Not the owner, just a manager, I have now requested leave through the proper channels and if its denied because they have no contingency plan to cover me then I will take it further.

OP posts:
Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 04/02/2026 07:49

IwishIcouldconfess · 03/02/2026 19:40

So you're honestly saying if you had flights and accommodation booked, you'd cancel it because you're so indispensable?

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no but i'm not stupid enough to book holidays without getting ensuring I could get leave first.

OP posts:
stichguru · 03/02/2026 19:52

If you are the owner of the company - how did you let your company get into this mess. Sort it out!
If you aren't the owner - just take leave and let the people paid more than you do their job and figure out how to cope without you!

Chinsupmeloves · 03/02/2026 19:44

That's so unfair and you are entitled to and need your time off! DSis is in same situation; company took on someone to fill a left role but they took sick leave almost immediately and her manager has been on long term SL as well. Doing her own role above and beyond and having to take on extra responsibility due to lack of effective employees has been excruciating.

She has accrued so many days in lieu there isn't enough time to take them! I keep telling her to stop working before and after her hours so much but she won't because the tasks need doing.

Higher management need to step in and sort it but they don't.

IwishIcouldconfess · 03/02/2026 19:40

takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 13:27

have you read my post - I can't manage my manager and head office

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So you're honestly saying if you had flights and accommodation booked, you'd cancel it because you're so indispensable?

IwishIcouldconfess · 03/02/2026 19:32

takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 13:28

No, I run a team, i'm not on my own - but if I did have an accident it would be down to head office to sort cover

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So you say if you had an accident, it would be down to HO, why does the same not apply for annual leave??

Brefugee · 03/02/2026 15:55

takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 08:02

Update - I took a week off sick, all hell broke loose and they had to fly someone down to cover me, operations were halted for 24 hrs

Have requested holidays for March. If denied will take it further.

frankly?

You weren't there and they closed for 24 hours?
Whatever they pay you it is nowhere near enough if your absense closes them down. Ask for more money too with your new-found assertiveness.

BudgetBuster · 03/02/2026 14:16

takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 13:27

have you read my post - I can't manage my manager and head office

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But you can stop cancelling your own leave...

Comefromaway · 03/02/2026 14:12

takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 13:29

does that include bank holiday entitlement? I get so many days plus bank holidays

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Yes, it includes bank holidays.

(Based on full time hours)

The statutory minimum holiday you can insist on taking is 28 days (including bank holidays)

Of those 28 days 20 days must be taken and you should only carry them over if you were unable to take them due to sickness/maternity etc. I believe that there actually should be a written/collective agreement for carrying over statutory holidays.

Any contractual entitlement above the minimum can be more flexible in that some companies will roll them over or pay them in lieu etc

MajorProcrastination · 03/02/2026 13:44

Talk to your union.

Brefugee · 03/02/2026 13:31

Join a union now. It doesn't matter if your workplace don't have reps, and they don't need to know you have joined.

They will help you with the legal side (telling you what the law is) and they will help you word letters/emails/discussions with your company.

Be clear what you are entitled to and take it. Make sure you have made a handbook of your job, tell your boss where it is and that is it. You can do this but you have to learn to advocate for yourself.

Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 13:30

Brefugee · 03/02/2026 13:28

what country are you in? are you in a union?

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UK. I am not in a union

OP posts:
Original poster
takingthepissoutofme · 03/02/2026 13:29

Comefromaway · 03/02/2026 12:29

I work in Payroll. Although you can agree to carry over unused leave you absolutely HAVE to take at least 20 days per year.

It's better for you to take it than make yourself ill and potentially be even shorter staffed.

does that include bank holiday entitlement? I get so many days plus bank holidays

OP posts:
Brefugee · 03/02/2026 13:28

takingthepissoutofme · 13/01/2026 11:53

Through events I can't go into as will be outing, I have no one to cover me at work, holidays, sickness, appointments. I did have someone who could cover, but no longer here. There is a plan to replace that person but at current it's not possible. We are one of several remote units and our HO is based in another part of the country some 6 hours away. No one from another site or HO can cover me as they can't commute and none will agree to stay.

I have not had any time off for 6 months and i'm losing the will to live.

I just don't know what to do.

what country are you in? are you in a union?