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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you been annoyed sleepover

105 replies

Molly2135 · 13/01/2026 09:57

My daughter went to stay at a friends house as it was her friends birthday . They went for food and then went back to her house for a sleep over .

Two other girls stayed also and she lives with her Mum . When I picked her up the next day I noticed that mums boyfriend was sat there ( the boyfriend she had split up with 3 months before as he hadn’t been very nice ) hadn’t realised they where back together . I was taken aback as didn’t expect him to be there or would be staying the night with the girls . They are 10 years old and I wouldn’t have let her stay knowing that he was staying there as I don’t know this man and what ive been told about tho isn’t really nice .

Am I over reacting or would you feel the same ?

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 13/01/2026 10:25

Ultimately, nobody thinks that their own partners / friends / relatives are people who are likely to harm children, so other people aren’t generally going to see it as necessary to inform the parents of children visiting that they’ll be there. You either have to trust the judgement of the parent hosting, or make your own judgement call if you don’t trust their judgement and decline sleepovers regardless of who you think might be present.

Starlight1979 · 13/01/2026 10:22

Yeah I mean you can't monitor who is in other people's houses. Nor does the mother have to let you know her partner is staying.

If you're not comfortable with your daughter going then don't let her go.

mindutopia · 13/01/2026 10:19

No, I wouldn’t expect another parent to inform me about other adults staying in the house.

But if I had doubts about how sensible the parent was (and based on what you describe, I would), I simply wouldn’t let my dd go for a sleepover.

My dd (13) has a friend with a mum who seems to have a new cokehead boyfriend on rotation every few months. My dd has also shared with me (because she was worried) that the friend is allowed to drink at home. She went over to her house and saw an empty cider can next to her bed. I don’t allow sleepovers because I think she’s a shitty parent. Now you know and you can decide differently in the future.

Original poster
Molly2135 · 13/01/2026 10:02

Just nasty to them through drink . Made nasty remakes.

OP posts:
Clavella · 13/01/2026 09:58

‘Wasn’t very nice’ how?

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