Cried for 90 mins

Yes I have a few myself

Also the TV for 3 hours thing was made up by you. I don't think anybody said they do that.

Yes your children did so don't apply it to all! My 1 year old gets 12.5hrs total in a day including naps and will only do more than that if unwell.

Mine slept from 7-7. Plus naps. Not excessive. They’re all different.

We’re all going round in circles but nothing can convince me that getting up the family at 4am and watching TV for 3 hours is a good idea. Each to their own though.

I never once said I dont get up and comfort my child so let's not be dramatic, I know my children just like you know yours and what works for us works. You're very passive aggressive in your replies, maybe tone it down a bit

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So they learn to recognise whether or not they've had enough sleep and act accordingly? Have you met a toddler before?

Do all toddlers need 12 hours of sleep at night on top of whatever naps they've had? For many kids that would be excessive.

If I can’t get back to sleep, I read. A baby hasn’t that option as they’re just here because you made them be here. The least you can do is make your choice to have them a pleasant one for them.

By then they would have had enough sleep so probably not, our bodies are naturally wired to wake around 4am but as we get older we can go back to sleep without much waking. Plus in our house we are awake and getting ready for work so they would hear that and know its morning time.

Only if they went to bed at 4 or 5pm.

And that still doesn’t solve the knackered parent issue. I can’t believe we are suggesting it’s fine and healthy to get up at 4am (and watch tv for 3 hours). But here we are I guess.

I have 4 wonderful well adjusted children/adults who are becoming confident, resilient and independent adults. They were a joy to bring up they had their moments like all children but we all had a lot of laughs along the way. The most important life lesson I taught my children is to never take yourself too seriously. There is a lot of mean spirited people in the world who loves to tear people down at any given opportunity to make themselves feel better.

Maybe they were getting sufficient sleep by going to bed early. You don't know their entire day.

Or they think “I just wanted a cuddle but I’m not getting it as my parent can’t be bothered giving me one, lesson learned.

So in that case will they just go back to sleep if they wake at 7, as well? If not, why not?

You are not leaving children ‘to fend for themselves’ if you refuse to get up with them at 4am. They are safe in their beds. You encourage them to go back to sleep. Getting up and starting the day doesn’t help.

But it was in their interests to get the necessary sleep. It’s not healthy for them or you. Parents aren’t doing it for themselves. They understand kids need sufficient sleep and rest. What do you do when you get up at 4am? Watch screens for 3 hours?

You are not ignoring their needs by making sure they have enough sleep.

You hopefully don’t have children.

They may still wake up and call out but when you keep going in and being consistent then the likelihood of them understanding and falling back to sleep is greater than them staying up for prolonged periods of time crying

If I heard a baby crying non stop for an hour and a half I would call the police for a welfare check.

I would have assumed something had happened to you.

It’s not fair to the neighbours or your child.

It sounds like he got himself so worked up that he was crying because he was overly upset.

To be fair to my neighbours (and so no one called the police) I would have taken him downstairs and slept on the sofa - not great but better than him crying for 90mins.

You need to find out why he was so desperate to go downstairs - was he hungry, thirsty, scared, wanting to watch tv etc.
That way it will help you next time.

Telling a child no is not abusive it's teaching them boundaries. Hugging a child who is crying for negative attention is giving the wrong message to that child. We are there to bring them up to be decent people and understand boundaries. Giving in to every tear will confuse them when they don't receive the same attention from other adults or children.

It wasn't every single day and yes, it had a huge impact on my health as I was a single parent, worked full time etc. but I wouldn't ignore my children's needs to get a few hours extra sleep. It was torture at times but unfortunately it is parenting. I couldn't leave them to fend for themselves could I.

My children are ND and their circadian rhythm isn't that of an NT person so I had to suck it up. They are bright, well adjusted little humans who know I will be there for them, so they have a healthy attachment too.

But some people are saying that if you have a few nights of crying then you'll teach them and they'll stop getting up. Like training them to get to a point where you don't have to come in and tell them to go back to sleep. They "have to learn" and when they learn they won't wake in the night.

Mine wakes between 4 and 5 sometimes, it’s awful. I’ve tried everything with adjusting naps and bedtime. He won’t go back to sleep at that time. If I bring him into bed sometimes he’ll relax and sometimes he’ll climb on my head and kick me in the throat. I try not to get up til about 5:30 earliest so I just tolerate him climbing on my head. I also have a mini Bluetooth speaker that I put stories on for him- he knows Very Hungry Caterpillar and Gruffalo and joins in.

What I’ve found also helps is putting some little books with felt flaps at the foot of his cot. He will wake up and explore them for a bit and chat to himself before he starts yelling for me. If anything it’s a nicer way to wake up than the screaming.

I think what happened is sub-optimal, but so is getting up at 4 and having to function and teaching him that he can get up at 4 by screaming.

They dont know the time, but you go in and explain its still night time so let's go back to bed for a little while longer, give them a cuddle and kiss and back to bed