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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cried for 90 mins

612 replies

draft123 · 13/01/2026 09:21

Last night my little one woke and was creaming at 4.15am. I thought something was wrong but he just wanted to go downstairs. I tried to comfort him in my arms but nothing was settling him. Took him in my bed which he rarely comes into and we watched my phone. Probably shouldn't have done that but I can't stand his crying.

He wasn't sleeping but it was nice to have him under the duvet with me.

After 10 mins I put him back in his cot and his room. Same issue occured again - crying to go downstairs.

I just left him in the cot until he eventually slept at 6am.

I did go in one or twice into the room but honestly I can't settle him when he wants to go downstairs and I told him it's dark outside.

I was watching him on the room camera so he wasn't in any danger.

Did I do the wrong thing? Next door is hard of hearing so won't wake him. I live just with toddler.

OP posts:
Differentforgirls · 13/01/2026 21:14

oilead · 13/01/2026 21:08

Reporting this

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No bother 👍

Givemeachaitealatte · 13/01/2026 21:13

Delatron · 13/01/2026 21:03

😂 My 2 year old would not have played for 3 hours with ‘minimal sleepy effort’ from me.

I mean it’s 4am. It’s nighttime. Can’t we just accept it’s better that everyone is in bed asleep.

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Oh believe me I accepted that it would be better if I was in bed, but I wasn't, I was parenting. It didn't last forever and I would not leave my children to cry for an hour and a half. Who is sleeping through crying? So you're still up but both miserable.

JuliesName · 13/01/2026 21:12

You should be ashamed of yourself. An hour of your 2 year old crying himself to sleep?

You disgust me.

GrealishGoddess · 13/01/2026 21:11

Get one of those glow clocks with the stars on. Groclock. Helps with the early rising kid.

Delatron · 13/01/2026 21:11

oilead · 13/01/2026 21:10

I feel like while millennials are MUCH better parents than our boomer counterparts, they’re very prone to slipping into martyr territory.
Letting children dictate what time morning is to the detriment of everyone’s health and happiness is crazy.

Quite!

oilead · 13/01/2026 21:10

I feel like while millennials are MUCH better parents than our boomer counterparts, they’re very prone to slipping into martyr territory.
Letting children dictate what time morning is to the detriment of everyone’s health and happiness is crazy.

Delatron · 13/01/2026 21:10

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 21:08

Well not minimal effort for 3 hours. In that time the kid would either get tired enough to go back to bed or you will have started to feel more alive.

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What about the rest of the day? I’m not feeling alive at my desk at 5pm if I’ve been up since 4am!!

Delatron · 13/01/2026 21:09

Givemeachaitealatte · 13/01/2026 21:05

I don't know if you missed that they no longer do this. I have to drag them out of bed these days, they are clever, funny, well attached kids - the 4/5am get ups have had no long term damage.

And no, not screens. We played, read, listened to music etc. as we would do most mornings whatever time we got up.

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I worked full time when mine were 2. If I got up and played/read with them at 4am for 3/4 hours then headed off to drop them at nursery at 8, then an hour commute, then work all day - back at 6.30/7 pm. I would have been broken and on my knees. As would my children after a full day at nursery.

A 4am wake up would not have worked for us. I still don’t think it’s healthy for anyone. That’s merely my opinion.

oilead · 13/01/2026 21:08

Differentforgirls · 13/01/2026 20:14

I have no words about your attitude to tiny people who are still learning. Except, you should never had had them. You’re parenting is abusive.

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Reporting this

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 21:08

Delatron · 13/01/2026 21:03

😂 My 2 year old would not have played for 3 hours with ‘minimal sleepy effort’ from me.

I mean it’s 4am. It’s nighttime. Can’t we just accept it’s better that everyone is in bed asleep.

Show quote history

Well not minimal effort for 3 hours. In that time the kid would either get tired enough to go back to bed or you will have started to feel more alive.

Givemeachaitealatte · 13/01/2026 21:07

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:37

Only if they went to bed at 4 or 5pm.

And that still doesn’t solve the knackered parent issue. I can’t believe we are suggesting it’s fine and healthy to get up at 4am (and watch tv for 3 hours). But here we are I guess.

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Why did you assume that we were watching TV for 3 hours?

Givemeachaitealatte · 13/01/2026 21:05

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:31

But it was in their interests to get the necessary sleep. It’s not healthy for them or you. Parents aren’t doing it for themselves. They understand kids need sufficient sleep and rest. What do you do when you get up at 4am? Watch screens for 3 hours?

You are not ignoring their needs by making sure they have enough sleep.

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I don't know if you missed that they no longer do this. I have to drag them out of bed these days, they are clever, funny, well attached kids - the 4/5am get ups have had no long term damage.

And no, not screens. We played, read, listened to music etc. as we would do most mornings whatever time we got up.

Delatron · 13/01/2026 21:03

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 20:56

Or letting them play with minimal, sleepy effort from yourself.

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😂 My 2 year old would not have played for 3 hours with ‘minimal sleepy effort’ from me.

I mean it’s 4am. It’s nighttime. Can’t we just accept it’s better that everyone is in bed asleep.

ByWisePanda · 13/01/2026 21:00

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 20:56

Or letting them play with minimal, sleepy effort from yourself.

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Is that what you have done good for you. The majority would not do that.

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:58

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 20:55

You also said a child can't have had enough sleep by 4/5am unless they went to bed at 4/5pm, so you were generalising and then you contradicted yourself by saying they're all different. You either have an opinion on how much sleep all other kids need per night or you don't?

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No -
I have an opinion that getting up at 4am is not a good idea. Because even if the kids are getting enough sleep (doubtful) then the adults most certainly aren’t.

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 20:56

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:51

Of course you are. 3 hours of playing with your toddler at 4am.

Or letting them play with minimal, sleepy effort from yourself.

purpleygrey · 13/01/2026 20:56

draft123 · 13/01/2026 09:47

He was trying to get of the bed. It's a 1.2 m drop

Don't be daft, I'm not going to be in bed and me fall asleep but accident and him fall

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I’m more intrigued by your giant bed. Does it have a ladder ? Please post a pic of bed ! 😂

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 20:55

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:48

I said ‘they’re all different’

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You also said a child can't have had enough sleep by 4/5am unless they went to bed at 4/5pm, so you were generalising and then you contradicted yourself by saying they're all different. You either have an opinion on how much sleep all other kids need per night or you don't?

FunMustard · 13/01/2026 20:52

Tricky situation but I think you did fine. What are people expecting you to do? Allow him to go downstairs at that hour?

I probably wouldn't have used a phone (mine are old enough now that it wouldn't have been a thing when they were this age) but would have probably put him in his room with a small light on and just let him play. That's what I did with my one child who'd wake early - we had a Gro Light so he knew he wasn't supposed to get up, but he was allowed to play quietly. This was with varying degrees of success!

1stimer16 · 13/01/2026 20:51

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Are you ok?

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:51

Of course you are. 3 hours of playing with your toddler at 4am.

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:48

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 20:44

Yes your children did so don't apply it to all! My 1 year old gets 12.5hrs total in a day including naps and will only do more than that if unwell.

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I said ‘they’re all different’

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 20:48

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:47

Ok what do they do for 3 hours? Nothing is open. They’re not going to the playground….

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Play?

Delatron · 13/01/2026 20:47

willywallaby · 13/01/2026 20:45

Also the TV for 3 hours thing was made up by you. I don't think anybody said they do that.

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Ok what do they do for 3 hours? Nothing is open. They’re not going to the playground….

Differentforgirls · 13/01/2026 20:47

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