Cried for 90 mins

Long time ago but I can remember those nighttime panic attacks at that age. I used to go and creep into my older brother's bed with him. We would whisper to each other and it settled me down. Before anyone judges...it was NOT incestuous...just comforting.
Don't worry OP, just comfort and soothe your little one in any way that works for you both.

Why? Because she couldn't be bothered to properly try and comfort him? He is only 2!

Get him a Gro clock, teach him when the sun comes up and it changes colour that is getting up time. Then he can read in bed or sing to himself or whatever until getting up time. Worked with my DD. I would not ever leave a little one to cry for that long, he's not having a tantrum, but time for him is different to you and probably he started off crying because he wanted to go downstairs but then it morphed into general distress and needed dealing with. Next time I'd put him in my bed with the light off and cuddle him, if he kicks and tries to escape warn him about the drop and help him to get down easily, my DS has managed it off a similar height bed since he was 18m with holding onto the edge and dropping carefully. Let him roam in the dark, he will soon get bored and want to come back in with you. You can also just get a bed guard for the side of the bed to stop him falling, or some wide steps.

So at almost exactly this age dc2 would wake in the middle of the night (between 2-4 am) and want to get up/go downstairs and play. They were early talkers and had some words and I remember 'arguing' with them on the landing. "Want play" "No play, sleep time" (you get the picture) followed by angry sobbing and lots of rapid retuning back to bed (we had to move to a bed as the determined wee thing was dangerously attempting climbing out the cot in a grow bag! Fun times. Only you can tell if it's distress or cross crying, the tone, rest of body language and pitch is definitely different imho..... You could try a groclock?

Hi Op what would he have wanted downstairs did he think it was getting up time? I hope it’s not a regular occurrence mine did this it’s torture being awake at that time and the crying on top. Op as his parent you do what’s best for you at that particular moment no rule book available. Sometimes I wonder why people have a go at others on here. it’s a forum for advice not everyone will agree so ignore the mean ones.

No it’s not ok. Whatever solution you figure out works for you leaving your 2 year old crying alone for 90 minutes is not the right one.

I cba to read this whole thing but please OP DONT PUT YOUR 2 YEAR OLD IN FRONT OF A PHONE SCREEN 🙏🙏

You did the right thing. If you went downstairs he may want to do this every night. You give him a cuddle and he knew where you were.

My 2 kids had phases like that, waking up at 4-5am. It's horribly tiring, specially with my full time job, but it's just a phase, and it would have never crossed my mind to let them cry for 1h30 just to prove a point that it was too early. They have no clue, they're too little. All they know is that they need to be near you and for some reason they are distraught in their bed/not tired anymore/etc. A 2 year old won't understand why you can hear them cry, come to their bedroom now and again but not take them with you/downstairs.
As another PP said, how would you feel if you were really upset and the person you love just leaves you there, comes in from time to time, but despite you saying you want to leave the room, they dismiss you and leave you there anyway.

Does he have naps OP?

Both my ds quit napping at 20 months. It’s really shit (single parent here also) but mine would be waking at 4/5am if they did have one and it was a killer.

They would scream whenever trying to put them down for a nap anyways so I just stopped putting them down for them. The odd catnap in the car or buggy but they would wake up after 20 minutes anyways.

My youngest (22 months) still wakes up often due to recurrent tonsilitis but at least since cutting the naps, he wakes up 6:30 onwards.

There’s genuine science that leaving your child alone to cry causes many emotional issues as they go into childhood and in adult life. How confusing for the poor boy, you take him out and then suddenly get sick of him and decide to just put him back alone in his room again. I bet he was so sad. Unfortunately early mornings are part of being a parent whether you like it or not

Hi there, what is your question? What was wrong? Could be multiple things but at this age my children both suffered with night terrors.

he wasn't fine, he was crying for 90 minutes. how is that fine?

Very judge mental people on here.
You checked him & had the camera, he was fine.
I don’t think what you did was wrong. He needs to learn that night time is sleep time.

Could you play some nursery rhymes or audio story book for him to listen to and fall asleep again?

Isn’t it lovely when you come on Mumsnet for some much-needed advice because you are at your wits’ end, knackered through sleep-deprivation, and all you want is some kind support from people who understand. You can always rely on a few gems on MN to make you feel like a bad mum, can’t you?

Although it’s undoubtedly distressing, there comes a point where your son needs to learn that night is for sleeping, and provided you are checking on him every now and then, there is no harm done. This age is notorious for kids testing the boundaries. My son did exactly the same at that age. A cuddle, a kiss, and back to bed. He will be absolutely fine.

Or, you can do what some people seem to think makes you a better mum and keep him in bed with you until he’s 9. FFS.

Ok I've got 2 kids my DS is almost 18 and my DD is almost 5 so big age gap, that also means the second time round I knew what I was doing more, but I also know how fast time zips along. My boy used to come and just get in bed with me but I've always taking my girl back to bed for instance and sat with her till she's back to sleep.

The times she's woke and not been able to sleep at 4/5am even sometimes now I try getting back to sleep or I do just go down get on the couch with a blanket and put a film on. My reasoning for this is 1) sometimes even you will have nights when you just cannot sleep no matter what you do, and 2) I've come to learn over time that they eventually get to the point of not wanting to even be in the same room as their parents for long, or they growl or grumble instead of speaking when they are teens, so now I just pick my battles and accept the extra snuggles, we all have nights we cannot sleep

I don't judge you for sleeping with your daughter if that's what you want to do. Many mothers would see what you are doing as strange. Has anyone asked if your child is needy and why you choose to let her sleep with you.

I think you did fine. Didn't agree to going downstairs at a ridiculous time but did comfort him.
I wouldnt take him in my bed with the phone another time.
Maybe get him one of those clock things that tell him when it's ok to wake up?

Im not sure upper class? Victorian perhaps!

She's a single parent

This must be a upper class English thing because I could never allow my child to stay crying in a dark room away from me for hours. How awful and cruel. My daughter is 5 and regularly sleeps with me in bed.

Next time maybe try some warm milk as may be in growth spurt and hungry. Chrck his nappy and tenperture in case teething or ill.
add a few safe toys maybe to bed.
no way get in habit if him dictating when he goes doenstairs to srart his day.
keep a consistent routine.
its horrible cying but if purely attention seeking it has to be nipped in bud.
i inderstand why you would use your phone but really dont again as evidence is it keps you awake and brain wired.
its not easy handling toddlers. You are doing your best thats all you can do.

A typical example of the above post on how to make another parent feel less inferior to them.

Also, wasn't there something utterly smug about the
"it worked for (almost) everyone who stuck with it"?

Well, yes, obviously the people it didn't work for wouldn't stick with it 🤔

You were terribly wrong. Are there any other instances where your child is an "inconvenience" to you? He is just 2 ffs!! Putting a phone in front of him in the middle of the night is ridiculous too.
You say you have a bed in his room but he is not interested for you to be there? Just be there with him and be present. Or take him downstairs and start the day. You are the adult and the parent!
Tbh I feel sad for your child!