Cried for 90 mins

I find early mornings really hard- always have done, am just hard wired as a night owl- but when DS was that age he would have just come into my bed. I appreciate you couldn’t do that, so I think I would have gone into his room and laid on the bed in there with him, so that he knew I was there, but also knew it wasn’t time to get up. I wouldn’t personally have left a child of that age to cry. I wouldn’t leave a child of any age to cry for 90 minutes.

Tell him that nighttime is for being in bed, whether his own or yours. It is not time for going downstairs just because 'he wants to'. He needs to learn sharpish.

I don’t know why one or two posters are trying to make you feel bad here @draft123.
You obviously shouldn’t let him have your phone if you’re wanting him to sleep but I’d have maybe gone into his room and either slept in the bed with him, or put him in his cot and held his hand or whatever.
I agree with you that you didn’t want him going downstairs before 5am!

over 2 years and in a cot? Mine climbed out of here about 18 months . Don’t worry about the bed height.

no I wouldn’t leave anyone crying alone for that length of time. Even if you have to hold them and say very now and then “it’s still night time “

it’s called parenting

correction - I wondered if it was a boy and suspect if it was. A girl you would behave differently

no I won’t validate your action. I think they were wrong

he was likely crying because he wasn’t tired anymore / was hungry / has tooth pain / hurts or itches etc etc. there could be a million reasons! Depends what had happened during the day before.

putting him into your bed with a phone only exacerbated it! You just a) woke him up fully and b) showed him something that he wanted to keep doing even more than he originally wanted to go downstairs I expect.

in this instance I think you should have taken it on the chin and either got up early with him or played quietly in his room with him / read to him etc then tried to put him back to bed.

it would be different if he was doing this every morning but if it was just a one off then I think you were harsh in letting him cry for an hour alone. Sometimes toddlers cry for one thing, and then end up hysterical and unable to calm themselves because they have been crying for ages (completely unrelated to the original thing they were crying about). This may have been what happened

So why did you post, if you're just going to ignore the majority?

Most people will not think it's normal or acceptable to leave a toddler crying for more than an hour.

That is totally uncalled for.

Yeah, and sometimes that's what you have to do as a parent. You don't leave them crying for an hour.

My toddler is going through a phase of waking at 5am. I get up and we start the day. I don't leave her crying in her room for an hour, until 6 when I'd like to get up.

I would have done exactly the same as you. I’m afraid you won’t get much support on here for this though. Leaving a child to cry for more than 4 minutes is a crime punishable by flagellation according to mumsnet. Instead you’re just supposed to martyr yourself and resign yourself to getting up at 4 am.
Especially as a single parent you need sleep and some sleep training might be a necessity.

Was he crying in bed with you ? Nothing wrong with him sitting up

edit because distracted by exploding soup

when I was small and had the terrors I had to sit up to keep them away

You said it was because you didn't want him to fall off your 4 poster bed.

I think mine had night terrors at this age. They'd wake themselves up and cry.

I found sitting on their bedroom floor in silence with my hand touching them so they had reassurance I was there. Maybe holding their hand or just next to their leg.

You need to sleep train this out of happening. I dont agree with getting them out of bed into mine, if they sleep well in their own bed.

I also had a digital clock in their room when they could recognise a 7 and explained until there was a 7 at the front. This helped mine understand to lie quietly until a reasonable time.

Good luck and sorry you are getting a hard time.

Why not just keep him in your bed…? You obviously didn’t go back to sleep as he was crying so what was the point in making him upset? He’s a small child, he’s not doing it to be a pain. I sometimes get woken in the middle of the night by my small one, we have a snuggle read some books whatever. I’m not getting out of bed to go in the living room but I’m not abandoning a distressed child. I work full time and I’m exhausted, but we all have times we can’t sleep or wake up upset for whatever reason. He’s a tiny human.
Yes you did the wrong thing. Don’t ask if you don’t like the answers.

But he didn't want to go back to his cot he wanted you.

He wasn't sleeping but it was nice to have him under the duvet with me.
So he had stopped crying until you put him back in his cot.

are you saying he only stopped crying when you took him to your bed AND pulled out your phone?

you should just have had him in your bed surely ?

what do you mean by “he doesn’t care for bed sharing”

sometimes they might like it if they are upset even if they don’t like it other times ?

Why have you posted? For people to tell you it’s okay?