Cried for 90 mins

I don't give in to tantrums. If they need something before 7am or are ill etc that is very different.

But no, they don't get up at night simply because they want to.

7am is because it means they have slept well based on when they went to bed and generally need to be awake for nursery. Mine would be incredibly hungry and desperate for the loo/a clean nappy at 9am-10am so I imagine that wouldn't work for most toddlers either.

I personally, couldn’t have left my 2yr old to cry on his own. If my DS wakes in the night I give him a cuddle until he settles down and let him listen to a story on his Yoto in bed (he usually falls asleep to this).

If you are happy to walk up and down carrying a 2 year old in the night (I don’t think I’d have the energy tbh) then that’s fine, you are comforting and helping her. But you haven’t said you leave her to cry for hours in a cot, which is what everyone here is objecting to.

It’s not easy u have my sympathy. My little girl used to do this. I had to take her downstairs as she would wake everyone else up with the crying. I made it as boring as possible. No lights, no tv, just sitting in the dark not saying anything. I wouldn’t give her milk or anything either as at 2 she clearly didn’t need it and I didn’t want to encourage the habit. She wld potter about for a little while but often end up coming for a cuddle. She grew out of it thankfully probably by about 2 1/2 to 3.

She wld eventually either fall back asleep or would settle enough that I would take her bk up to bed and she would go bk to sleep albeit in my bed! It was often around an hour ahead wld be awake. Brutal when ur working the next day 😭

7? Wow, that’s a lie-in for most of the working world.

If you can persuade them to go back to sleep of play quietly in their cot then great, but if that doesn’t work do you just shut them in their cot and listen to them scream? What if another parent decided that 9 or 10AM was a better time to wake up? Would it be ok to leave the child screaming until then too? Or is there something about 7am that’s special in some way and not just a random time that you’ve picked because it suits you?

Yeah, I wouldn't have done that personally.

My eldest was like this. He sprang awake at stupid o'clock in the morning and just wanted to start his day. I never found a solution to be honest. If I brought him into our bed he just fidgeted and arsed about until I gave in and got up. If I put him to bed early, he didn't go to sleep. He didn't nap during the day. He seemed to function on virtually no sleep! I remember trying not to nod off while he happily played with his cars or watched bloody Roary the Racing Car. He's 17 now and his sleep patterns are still shot to buggery. It's something he has worked on with a therapist, with a tiny bit of progress. He has been diagnosed with ASD and is about to be assessed for ADHD. Both of these conditions can cause disrupted or irregular sleep. One thing I never did though, was leave him to cry. No matter how sleep deprived I was, I just couldn't do it. Thankfully his younger brother was a champion sleeper!

Are you able to go to sleep if you're not tired? Despite understanding that night is for sleeping?

Personally, I used to bring mine into bed and just give them some toys to play with when they really weren't tired, before going back into a light doze for another hour myself. But then I wasn't worried about them falling out - our bed wasn't that high, and toddlers are pretty sturdy, haha.

Maybe a few toys in the cot would work though at that age, depending on the child's temperament.

My DD eventually grew out of this (we also never co-slept, I spent much of her baby/early toddlerhood with a PICC line in my arm that she would just fiddle with and try to pull on) we got rid of the cot and used the Yoto player to explain:

• if there is a sunshine on the screen it is wake up time and if there is a moon it is nighttime
• If you wake up and there’s a moon, and you can’t get back to sleep you can play in your room until the sunshine appears
• if you wake up and feel poorly /need a wee/ need a cuddle you can always call for us whether there is a moon or sun, but if you just want to go downstairs that’s not happening
• we used a reward jar for correct use, she was allowed to choose a small treat when the jar was full

We found that she wasn’t so bothered about going downstairs when she could play in her room. In the early days of it sometimes we would find her asleep on the floor among her teddies 😆 as she obviously needed more sleep after having got up at some daft hour. I was worried about getting rid of the cot/sleep sack but she slept better in a bed with a duvet and pillow. We would watch the baby monitor footage back to see what she got up to!

She is approaching 4 now and still opens her door with “it’s sunshine on my storybox, wakey up time everyone!” 😆 she knows we are there in an instant if she is scared or ill, but she also understands sleep is important for everyone and if she is just awake before anyone else is she needs to play by herself until it is time to start the day. She’s largely grown out of the super early starts now anyway, but I think giving her a bit of control over her own situation helped. Good luck, sleep deprivation is a torture method for a reason!

I had this with my DD. She would scream or cry and ask to go to toilet and we would take her and she would pee and I was looking at her face and suddenly realised she wasn´t awake, yeah, her eyes were open, she understood our simple directions but she wasn´t awake! I was weirded out the first time it happened. Then some minutes later and back in bed she screamed the house down, again she wasn´t awake. Night terrors.

Your DC is a very similar age to my DS. I personally wouldn’t leave him to cry in his cot for an hours. A 4-5am wake up time is annoying but I would and have done taken my DS downstairs when he’s woken up for the day at that time. I’d rather that then him crying and not wanting to stay in his cot alone.

Or yes, put him in a toddler bed so he can play for a bit if you don't want to fully get up.

I think he was crying because his 'want' wasn't being met. His 'need' is go learn that night is for sleeping not playing. I think most parents can distinguish between cries of frustratuon and cries of distress.

You've said you're posting for advice, and are worried you did the wrong thing. I'd say yes, you did do the wrong thing, although it's absolutely not the crime of the century.

The mistake I think you made was showing him videos on your phone. It would've only stimulated him more, making it harder for him to go to sleep as well as making him think that it could be 'get up' time. You've said that you only did that because you don't like hearing him cry, but then you left him to cry for 90 minutes, so defeated the purpose.

You also said you didn't keep him in your bed because you were afraid he'd fall out if you were asleep, but then you said that you were awake and watching him on the bedroom camera, so you could have just let him go to sleep in your bed and sat up as you already were - or tried to transfer him to his cot once he was asleep. (Although at 2 years 2 months, if you have a pillow barricade so he doesn't fall out while asleep, you should be able to teach him to use plastic steps to get in and out of bed safely.)

But I think that if you know he's clean, dry, and not hungry, thirsty, or in pain, and just seems to be being wilful and demanding, then keeping him in his cot and sitting with him for a little while, and then leaving and checking on him frequently to reassure him that you're still there but it's sleepy time, is fine at 2 years 2 months. Personally I just used to have mine in bed with me because it was easier and I was a softie, but I know that doesn't work for everyone.

Bringing him into your bed and showing him videos probably just exacerbated the situation though.

OP I had years of getting up at 4/5 when my children were that age. Sometimes they wake up and you just have to get on with it. I wouldn't have left my 2 year old crying for 90 mins - I would have got up, put him in my bed or taken him downstairs to start the day very slowly.

Is this regular or a one off? If regular, he either needs an earlier bedtime or a shorter nap. A gro clock also helps with teaching them when to get up, though you need to be realistic and start by setting it 15 minutes later than the usual wake up then changing it later slowly each night. If a one off, I usually find refusing to settle is a sign they're coming down with something. Though I am a bit surprised a 2 year 2 month old is still in a cot (admittedly both mine were climbers but they could escape it at that point) and can't safely get off a bed. Was that a typo for 1 year 2 months? At that age mine were in a bed, I just made sure their room was childproofed and put a stairgate across the door. If they did wake they'd usually find some toys to play with for a bit then go back to sleep.

Could he be coming down with something? My eldest was a great sleeper so when he woke in the night upset I knew something was brewing. TBH if you were awake watching him on the camera anyway you might as well have had him in your bed with you for cuddles/stories. At least that’s what I do/have done.

Fine to not go downstairs. using your phone is a massive error, blue light will have woken him up. I personally think leaving for 90 mins to cry is cruel. he was just awake, you can't punish that. You did ask for opinions. If this is regular, you need to look at his schedule as he's clearly not tired enough for the night (later bedtime, reduce nap duration). If it's one-off then just move on! if you were awake and watching on camera, I don't really see the point, it's not like you got any more sleep. just

Goodness you won’t get advice on here. You’ll just get judged and shamed.
Hope he feeling calmer this morning x

Personally I think it’s cruel to leave a child crying by himself. We would comfort a grown up but we expect children to just learn to comfort themselves. I don’t get that logic.

I had the odd night like that with DS, where he just wouldn’t settle and kept crying. So I took him to the living room in the middle of the night, which calmed him down. He played for an hour or so and then we went back to bed. You could have just take him downstairs and once he was fully calm, gone back to bed.

I’d have snuggled him in with me, if it turned out he really didn’t want to sleep then 5am isn’t that ridiculous to wake up, my middle child was a 5am-er, just meant she was usually ready for a nap around 9!
I wouldn’t have left my child to cry either, nor given a 2 year old videos with a view to settling him back to sleep, that’s not going to signal sleepy time. If you want him to drift back to sleep then keep everything dark and warm and maybe something like a tonie box or sleep sheep?

Look up Night Terrors.

Ds had this often, starting at this age. They seem wide awake, but are actually in a sleeping state. Ds used to cry to be carried all over the house.

It's something to do with over active brain, Ds did get it more when over tired or had been very stimulated / excited.

All children need different amounts of sleep. If your child is wide awake at 4am, they have had enough sleep.

Depends. Our little one's cot is in our bedroom, and so my husband and I honestly didn't really sleep properly for 2 years. We tried EVERYTHING. Still woke up up to 5/6 times a night and my hubby works full time. It was just batshit. Eventually, we had to do a sort of soft Cry It Out (and I NEVER thought I would be the kind of mum who would or could do that), but we were honestly on our last legs and our bub just couldn't connect his sleep cycles without us.

Turns out, yes, it fucking sucked on and off for about 2 weeks with a couple of nights where, yes, he cried for up to 90 mins - BUT now he SLEEPS THROUGH the night. Absolute game changer. He often still wakes at about 5.30/6am ready to go, but I'll take it. That's just his natural rhythm. We are all happier and healthier for it and I am much less judgmental about such choices now.

Having said that - I agree with PP's re what time your toddler might naturally rise, using phones during 'sleep time' and what message you are trying to convey to your little one. Consistency will be key. x