Cried for 90 mins

After 1 hour of crying the 2 year old calmly says to himself "the world doesn't revolve around me, I understand now". And sits quietly and sensibly until it's the assigned 'beginning of the day' time. He has learned an important lesson.

I think it's good to have an age-appropriate audio book for these situations. Assuming you've checked for comfort / illness/ hunger/ thirst first , sorry we're not going downstairs as it's still dark - but you can listen to the story in your cot. It distracts them from crying and probably they'll drop back to sleep, especially if it's a story they've heard lots of times before.

What the fuck? A mid sleeper 4 poster bed?

OP I would not leave mine to cry but I would get up if the issue was literally that they were awake for the day. Sometimes you get an early riser, sometimes it’s a one off and sometimes you can gradually teach them to stay in bed but for last nights situation I would have got up with him.

When is actual daytime?

You're talking about yourself. There is nothing wrong with the ops approach to parenting she did the right thing. He needs to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him. If any parent got up at 4 or 5 am in the morning to pander to their child then good luck to them because they'll need it. I have 4 children and I wouldn't dream of getting up for them to watch Teletubbies at 4 am. People will think I am a shit parent and lost control of my children.

Early walking is different to falling asleep at bedtime. You can’t teach or train it. It’s hardwired into our physiology. You can make adjustments to the environment or routine to encourage longer sleep, but once a child is awake for the day there’s little to be done. Leaving them in their cot to cry for 90minutes teaches them nothing but abandonment.

What would you do if you lived in a flat?

Exactly and in Scotland we’d all be asleep most of the day in the winter and up all night in the summer!

Are the posters agreeing with the OP currently parenting toddlers or are your children adults now?

I'm just hoping that this way of parenting is no longer common.

If it was correct it wouldn’t be heart breaking.

Yeah if you link 'night time' to how light it is outside then you're in for a hell of a time come summer!

The OP said she checked ‘once or twice’ which in the space of 90 minutes is nothing. And a toddler left alone in a cot for 90 minutes when they’re not tired is going to be distressed. If this was something that OP did in the middle of the day, rather than early in the morning, would you feel differently about it?

OP is clearly feeling a sense of unease with what she did, otherwise she wouldn’t be posting here. Unfortunately she only seems interested in the posters that agree with her, so I doubt she’ll be trying any of the helpful suggestions that other posters have offered.

So you did actually get up but spent the time trying to get them back to sleep?

I dont think you should let a young child (or any child) cry alone for 90 minutes, you might have "checked on him" twice, but he was still alone for the majority of that time. I dont know why you waited for him to fall asleep at 6am, have you never got up before that time before?!

Im also a single parent to a 15 month old so I do totally get how exhausting it is and how it feels like you'll never sleep again. I still wouldn't and havent let my child scream.

So if people only get up when it’s light, how do you cope with seasons?

Ops son hasn't worked that out yet. For now until when she puts alternatives in it's place that is the safest place for him.

Ugh, leaving a small child to cry alone for ages and trying to justify it - I’m just not seeing what you want us to say, OP.

Yes your body adjusts to a routine. That's nothing to do with 'learning there's nothing to get up for'. If you woke your child at 4 every day then they would adjust to waking up at 4 but that's not what's happening here. You get up with them or you leave them to cry for an hour, either way they didn't sleep for that hour.

You do. Your body adjusts to the routine. If there is no external stimulus.

Children need proper sleep.

Teaching them to sleep, or teaching them you won't come even if they scream for an hour?

I wouldn't have left mine to cry at such a young age for so long no. I wouldnt have had my phone out either, that's bound to make him awake and not want to sleep.

It's okay OP. Kids go through phases and sometimes sleep regression at this age. You did nothing wrong and are trying your best. You little one may just have had a bad dream or needed a bit of extra cuddles. Sometimes we have to just do what we can to get by for the night. Parenting is exhausting and there is no one size fits all for kids. If they came with an instructions manual it would be much easier 🤣

I am always stunned at the horrible way people speak to struggling mums on a forum called Mumsnet. I suppose it is because those posters have perfect children who slept through the night at 2 days old and never did anything to be difficult 🙄

Really though, it is clear the OP is feeling sad and inadequate and maybe helpful tips instead of merciless anger and bashing would be better here. Responses like these drive posters away who may genuinely need someone to hear them and help them.

Wow.Thats a bit harsh. People are just asking for information/making suggestions. You dont have to agree with them.I assume its your lack of sleep that made you so snarky!

Nobody chooses to wake up. Your body just wakes up. You don't learn about some consequence for waking up and that makes you stay asleep.

Once they learn they’re not getting up, they’ll naturally stay asleep until it’s actual day time.
Probably need a couple of frustrating nights and then it clicks.