Cried for 90 mins

Why is the single parent part relevant? Should they be held to a different standard than parents in a couple? I think it’s actually quite offensive to single parents to imply that they can’t be expected to do as good a job as any other parent.

Just trying to get his own way? Sorry do you think a 2yo is trying to emotionally manipulate you?

A 2yo does not have impulse control, or logic. Not being allowed a sweet when they want one IS distressing. Parents are there to help them to develop these things. A 2yo doesn't understand what time it is or that there are acceptable and not acceptable times to go downstairs. So not being able to go down when they're awake and want to is distressing. And then having your parent leave you when you are distressed is further distressing. It's our responsibility as parents to help them through these things

You would give in?

I am not assuming. I’m basing my statement on known child development. There are whole books written about how children learn consequences. He is too young to understand anything other than cause and effect; he cried and was not attended to. That’s a fact and when repeated in a pattern he will learn this.

At his age he cannot guess that his mother is not coming because it’s still night and he has to stay in bed until “morning”, especially as he was just woken up with a dose of blue light. His circadian rhythm was telling him it was daytime.

It is early but this is a phase. It might be triggered by too much sleep at other parts of the day if it genuinely isn't temperature, hunger, thirst etc. You think it's time to wake up, but if they've been in bed since 7pm and also had a nap then that could be 10-12 hours sleep, a 2 year old needs 11-14.

I used to get up with DC#2 and I'd get us both a drink/toast and watch something chilled. I could doze in a gated room and often they would snooze at some point. No she didn't continue waking for it, she outgrew that phase like all the others and a lot nicer than watching a crying toddler on a monitor. Not judging by the way, it's really hard with lots of different advice and it's just the way I found less soul destroying

Now I know why our young are so feckless. Their mummies round after them all day.

Someone with some sense! You’d think he was handcuffed and starved with some of these replies

If that’s how long it took to get the message I would yeah. I won’t let mine learn that causing a fuss gets him his own way every time.

We know our children and when they’re trying it on

Exactly this. If a child cries because they want chocolate and go on to have a 60 minute tantrum because you said no youre supposed to just give in and let them have chocolate when they want?
The child was safe, she went in and checked on them, if they continue to have a tantrum about it then they will learn tantrums dont equal getting what they want

Mine cried for a very long time when we had to leave soft play once…that was fun. Both of them crying. We’d been there for hours. I guess according to some on here I should have given in and moved in to the soft play…

Do you leave him to cry for two hours?

Course there is - mine for example will cry if I say no to sweets, or get the wrong drink, or any number of irrational reasons. That is not a distressed cry, just trying to get his own way

Make. Me. Are you always this childish? You do what you like, but the only one suffering is a child whose still learning and had no choice in his or her birth.

Why have a child if you can’t cope without 8 hours sleep?

Oh good lord. We’re back to ‘trapped and alone in the cot’. Like that’s not where normal babies and toddlers sleep. You forgot ‘in the dark’.

The child was safe, warm, fed and in its own bed. They were distressed because they were not allowed to go downstairs and start the day at 4am.

It’s getting hysterical on here. Another poster accused the OP of ‘chucking them back in their cot’!! Can we stick to the facts.

You think there are times a 2yo cries but isn't distressed?

Spoken to sternly? She’s a grown up and that’s not acceptable.

You don’t know if he was distressed, a two year old crying and a two year old being distressed can be completely different things and you must know that.

He was safe - there’s a lot of much worse alternatives. Like I said it’s not something I’d do but if she is taking advice from her mum who is a different generation she may not have even realised this isn’t really done now. Nothing bad has happened and it’s really not for anyone else to decide it’s their responsibility to give her a telling off.

You can disagree without being a bully

So you want me to show empathy to the adult (because she's a single parent?) but the 2yo will 'work it out', got it makes total sense

My advise is dont ever leave a child distressed and crying for that amount of time ! Its abuse plain and simple !

Yes, I actually think she needs to be spoken to sternly to make it clear that no, leaving a barely 2 year old trapped in a cot alone crying and distressed for 90 minutes is unacceptable

Her 2 year old is upset he has been returned back to bed. He will work it out.

It’s not a lack of empathy you have no idea how exhausted she was or if she had nothing left.

She knows her child - we can all tell when they’re crying cause they need us or cause they’re trying it on.

I wouldn’t have waited as long I’d have gone in at more regular intervals but it doesn’t warrant being nasty. As parents we are all learning all the time. Not one of us has always got everything right. Glass houses and all that

Prove. It.

The difference is I'm speaking to an ADULT, her lack of empathy is towards a 2 year old child

Is that what you did? You’re breaking your child.

Prove it.