People flirting with your partner in public, anyone had this?

Was married to a man who was very attractive and i got that a lot, but he was so utterly thick and clueless when it came to that sort of thing he never noticed or reciprocated, which i found funny.
Had a boyfriend years ago who used to lap it up whenever there were women talking to him. Would flirt mercilessly in front of my face. Made me feel dissed and insecure. We split up but stayed in touch over the years ( god knows why ) and he went on to get marrried 3 times and was selfish in all 3 relationships. They all left him. I had a narrow escape !!!!

Yes, he was very charming & moved in with our neighbour after having an affair for, what i assume was months. They both left partners to be together. I stupidly assumed it was just harmless flirting, I wont make that mistake again

Give her 30 years and she will chat to the woman and barely recognise he is alive.

Oops its that just me?
Men a pause

goths? How old are you and your boyfriend

They could be anything up to 60+ years old...

Yes, I've had this.

I'm 50 and my partner is 10 years older (and looks it 😉) but it doesn't seem to matter. He still has a full head of hair - or would if he didn't have a mohican.

The number of times we're been out and women will come up to him cooing about how cool he looks and how 'amazing' his hair is and how much they love it... Complete with the coy head tilt and, "Can I touch it."

He doesn't engage but laughs awkwardly and says no, which they ignore/take as a green light and then ooh and ahh about how hard/firm it is. Seriously.

I suppose it feels safe to do so because I'm there (or because he's old?) 🤷🏻‍♀️ because none of them would actually be interested in him.

For balance, men usually say things like, "Bloody hell, mate. I wouldn't want to get into a fight with you!' Or "I wish I still had the hair to do that!"

(I have nc for this - it is genuine!)

Surely, this depends on the relationship you have with your partner. If you trust each other and have a strong relationship, all a little flirting of this sort does is reinforce each partner's attractiveness, which is nothing more than a little ego boost (whichever partner it is). I'm more often the one that gets flirted with rather than my partner but he is very confident (as he should be) that even if I chatter away on a train or at a shop it is never going to go anywhere because he and I are very much in love with each other, and neither of us would do anything to jeopardize that. He finds it amusing rather than threatening. And, I find his confidence in us and me utterly lovely and it further reinforces our relationship.

No one flirts with my DH but I’m always being told how good looking he is. I think he doesn’t get flirted with because he’s simply not receptive to it, ie he doesn’t recognise it or respond so any flirting dies in the air.

goths? How old are you and your boyfriend

Yeah, it has happened to DP and I a few times. The most notable a hairdresser taking 45 minutes to shave his head to a number 2 all over with me sitting about 6 feet behind. We just saw it as amusing - he was awkward and didn't flirt back. He notices when a man looks at me too and also sees it as funny or a compliment that his tastes are reciprocated. I'm sure it happens a lot to DP as he works in a physical job involved with a sport that is fairly female heavy.

I used to get it with my ex. My food on a conveyor belt, an attractive younger woman starts discussing how healthy he eats - my food shop that I paid for! nothing to do with him,

Is it a crime ?

Bloody hell! The brazeness! Some women have no shame clearly 😳

😂

I take these things with a pinch of salt after being on the other side: at a wedding I was speaking with a man and it turned out we had lots of things in common. His wife was stood with her friends giving me daggers.

Being a married lesbian I can assure you I wasn’t after her man but given that she and her friends gave me a very subtle but clear cold shoulder all evening I presume she thought I was.

Even if your love is king, and you try to hang onto your love, the sweetest taboo is no ordinary love, and it's never as good as the first time 😀🎶

🤣

I’d love to have such a charmed life that the angriest I’d ever been was about someone flirting with my bloke.

Yes, was it not just that he was the person whose actual possession was being amended, which was the reason you were at the shop? And she was just making chitchat with a customer? I mean, it's a million years since I worked in a shop, but mightn't she just have been unclear as to why you were there and starting conversations about returns policy, as it wasn't your item?

The worst was at a University fancy dress ball . It was a student. DH was going to be her internal examiner for her PhD, that’s a great double entendre isn’t it. Her charms didn’t work and she was given major modifications, she cried in her viva. The kind of woman who puts the fight for women’s equality back by years. At one point she pulled a feather out of her cleavage and said I wonder how that got in there with a tinkly laugh to DH. He was decidedly unimpressed, I was raging, probably the most angry I have ever been, didn’t say a word as was worried it would escalate.

It's so cringey when people flirt with your partner in front of you. I think some women just act like that around all men though and are probably oblivious to how disrespectful it is (or are they? Who knows).

A year or so ago I was listening to the radio when someone from a local college was talking about customer service training and mentioned how they might encourage students to flirt with customers to make them more likely to come back. I was disgusted. Especially as most college students are probably 16-18 yo!

He hid it well.
She is indeed a goddess. Hell, I would have gone home with her but she didn’t hit on me!

MyDH wouldn’t notice if another woman took all her clothes off and sat on his lap. When we were younger women did try to flirt with him but he has only ever had eyes for me.

Men like him were very confusing to me when I was young but now I'm older I see how they get just enough thrill and ego boost from flirting without jeopardizing the safetynet at home. It's good that you're not upset by his habit.

I’m married to the world’s biggest flirt. He’s also the most monogamous man I’ve ever met, he hasn’t strayed an inch in 28 years. It makes me laugh and it undoubtedly cheers up the women he flirts with.

My DH is very attractive and yes women flirt with him all the time. To be honest, it makes me laugh because he is usually pretty oblivious 😂 we've been together 35 years and it's become a bit of a joke - me and his best friend laugh about it, if we're on a night out, his friend is used to it, he says when they were at school girls would walk home with him (the friend) and he'd think great and then they'd always say 'I really fancy X do you think he likes me?' 🤣

I'm on the fence whether she fancied him or it was just friendly on her side because she found the delay awkward and since she likes the same fashion and music as him so found it easier to talk to. It's possible she sensed how he reacted to her and wanted to seem friendly and diffuse the tension.. but in both cases the problem is your partner he was the disrespectful one specially to bring it back again.

On the wider topic of flirting with other half's there could be many reasons:

Didn't realise they were a couple because of how they look or act together

Weird jealousy and insecurity competition, a 'jolyne' game to spite the partner, 'look, I can get your man/woman if i want to'

Cockold fetish

Lack of respect to the partner: think they are better than the partner they settled with

The partner encouraged the flirting and gave the impression they are available (as an open relation or separated)...

I agree with PP, the issue here is not necessarily the sales assistant flirting, but how your DP reacted to it. I don't particularly think joking back etc is a problem but allowing you to be excluded (if he did) and the comment afterwards would piss me off.
Just for amusement, I'll share the weirdest 'flirting with you DH' I've experienced. DH and I were at an event at our DC's primary school. Parents were all asked to get up and join in with a dance (my idea of hell, DH quite likes that sort of thing). One of the younger mum's who neither of us had ever spoken to before pushed her way in between DH and I and started trying to sort of dance with DH (matching his 'moves', looking at him, nudging up to him etc). I assumed she hadn't realised we were together and was was just enjoying a bit of a tongue in cheek cheesy dance (as did DH apparently). But as we went back to our seats she said 'I love getting in between married couples, with this body I always win!' The look on DH's face simply said WTF