Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Called an ugly cow by a child

141 replies

Happilyobtuse · 12/01/2026 23:36

Dd is 9, a boy in her class insulted me and told her I was an ugly cow. She cried as she was so upset at him saying hurtful things about me. She told me in the evening and I had a laugh because he is a very very ugly looking child! And I am a good looking fit woman who has modelled previously. I am asian though so I think he was singling me out as I am obviously different from others. His own mother is very fat and much much bigger than me. I have told Dd to tell him with a face like yours I wouldn’t go around insulting others! And if he continues, to tell her class teacher. Is there anything else I should be doing?

OP posts:
Goatymum · 13/01/2026 07:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Iloveyoubut · 13/01/2026 07:55

Happilyobtuse · 12/01/2026 23:48

Sorry but with being called a cow I assumed he meant fat as cows are hardly shapely?! Also in this case it is true. She has turkey teeth, botoxed lips, fake orange tan and is obese. If she had stayed natural she probably would have looked ok.

Show quote history

I’m sorry but Mumsnet is just an actual joke these days. Why are people even engaging with this utter drivel anymore.

LiveLuvLaugh · 13/01/2026 07:53

plinkyplonk123 · 13/01/2026 00:00

This cannot be real

Yes I agree, someone’s having a laugh.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 13/01/2026 07:36

Happilyobtuse · 12/01/2026 23:56

I am upset that my daughter was upset and crying. His comments don’t bother me. I don’t know how to make her more resilient. She was told she looked like a muslim last week by a classmate. We are not muslims and as far as I am aware one cannot look like a religion! Hence you can get why I am frustrated with these kids!

Show quote history

Tell the school about it as this has a racially motivated element.

I liked what @Kisskiss and @KissMyArt (all the Kisses) said - they seem to be keeping it real. I expect many people on here have negatively judged the appearance of women like the one you describe, but these thoughts should stay in your head, and they actually become pretty ugly when spoken aloud and used as a weapon within earshot of our impressionable children.

I know you don't believe fat is the same as ugly but you have been hurt (at least by seeing your DD upset) and are lashing out.

Rise above all of it! Beauty, above all, is treating everyone with understanding and kindness. I expect there are a few generations of learned behaviour, and possibly even jealousy of you and your DD's looks, behind what the boy said.

Boomer55 · 13/01/2026 07:29

9 year old kids are often rude and insulting. Adults joining in isn’t a good look - no matter what anyone looks like. 🤷‍♀️

InterestedDad37 · 13/01/2026 07:27

Differentforgirls · 13/01/2026 07:21

The latter. Jesus.

Show quote history

(It's from 'The Exorcist' ; it wasn't a serious suggestion 👍)

Differentforgirls · 13/01/2026 07:21

InterestedDad37 · 13/01/2026 06:47

"Your mother sucks cocks in hell", or would that be overstepping the mark?

Edited

The latter. Jesus.

Lemondrizzle4A · 13/01/2026 07:17

As a teacher we often hear children insulting other children’s parents. We discuss it with them and point out how unkind and how would they like it. Just ignore and accept it for what it is- childish behaviour.

2old4thispoo · 13/01/2026 07:13

He's a child, your an adult.

Act like an adult

Zippidydoodah · 13/01/2026 07:10

This can’t be……no.

Alloveragain44 · 13/01/2026 07:09

Do you realise how silly you sound? You are grown adult who is by proxy having a playground slanging match wih a child. Teaching your daughter to call names back isn't going to equip her well for the future. Grow up.

Differentforgirls · 13/01/2026 07:09

Happilyobtuse · 12/01/2026 23:36

Dd is 9, a boy in her class insulted me and told her I was an ugly cow. She cried as she was so upset at him saying hurtful things about me. She told me in the evening and I had a laugh because he is a very very ugly looking child! And I am a good looking fit woman who has modelled previously. I am asian though so I think he was singling me out as I am obviously different from others. His own mother is very fat and much much bigger than me. I have told Dd to tell him with a face like yours I wouldn’t go around insulting others! And if he continues, to tell her class teacher. Is there anything else I should be doing?

Yes. Tell her looks don’t matter and to ignore it.

Pricelessadvice · 13/01/2026 07:09

Jesus. Grow up.
Kids say stupid things all the time. Why are you encouraging your daughter to defend you??

ProudCat · 13/01/2026 07:08

He's 9. You're a full grown adult. You handle it by showing what good behaviour looks like, not by behaving like a child.

Sparklesandspandexgallore · 13/01/2026 07:07

I would advise your dd to tell her teacher and every time this horrid child says anything nasty to dd tell the teacher then too.
He is getting his behaviour from somewhere and that most likely is home. His parents should not be using language like this.
Also I am of the opinion that once you start something it is entirely your own fault if you come off worse. Hence telling the child that he hasn’t in any position to talk about how ugly someone is is completely fine and will teach him a lesson.

Rubinia · 13/01/2026 07:05

Happilyobtuse · 12/01/2026 23:56

I am upset that my daughter was upset and crying. His comments don’t bother me. I don’t know how to make her more resilient. She was told she looked like a muslim last week by a classmate. We are not muslims and as far as I am aware one cannot look like a religion! Hence you can get why I am frustrated with these kids!

Show quote history

Op you should have started with this. It sounds like you’re concerned these comments are racially motivated?
speak to the class teacher. Lead with this comment and follow up with the ugly cow as it shows a pattern. im guessing it was the same boy?

golemmings · 13/01/2026 07:00

Happilyobtuse · 12/01/2026 23:48

Sorry but with being called a cow I assumed he meant fat as cows are hardly shapely?! Also in this case it is true. She has turkey teeth, botoxed lips, fake orange tan and is obese. If she had stayed natural she probably would have looked ok.

Show quote history

You've seen dairy cows right? They're skeletal. I'd not call anything with that much protruding bone attractive.

CatchTheWind1920 · 13/01/2026 07:00

🍪

Bellabelloo · 13/01/2026 06:59

I don’t think teaching your child to be a little brat too is the answer!

ConcernedOfClapham · 13/01/2026 06:53

Happilyobtuse · 12/01/2026 23:53

No idea why you are supporting his mum?! She brought her child up to go around insulting other adults and you think she is someone to get praise?! What a world we live in!

Show quote history

Not necessarily. You don’t know what his home life is like. She could have tried her best with the boy, only to find him coming increasingly under the influence of his misogynistic father who treats the boy’s mother like shit.

none of us know what goes on behind closed doors.

XiCi · 13/01/2026 06:51

Owly11 · 13/01/2026 00:07

I didn't even know turkeys had teeth - pretty sure they don't.

This is hilarious. Made my day 🤣

Creepybookworm · 13/01/2026 06:47

An 11 year said told me in front of the whole class my outfit was horrible yesterday. I resisted calling him an ugly little twat who.looks like a spud. I laughed instead (and thought it).

InterestedDad37 · 13/01/2026 06:47

"Your mother sucks cocks in hell", or would that be overstepping the mark?

Tontostitis · 13/01/2026 06:42

fairfat40 · 12/01/2026 23:42

Yeah, my advice would be tread carefully with getting your own back. a boy told my DS how ugly I was. So DS retorted that his mother was so ugly his dad had left her. Which was true. The leaving bit, anyway. So even though DS was the first scorned, he ended up in a heap of trouble with his teacher.

Good your son was totally out of line

AleaEim · 13/01/2026 06:31

Do you have a job OP? I’d love the time you have on your hands.