Called an ugly cow by a child

Is this racism OP ? If you suspect racism I would definitely let the school know.
I feel people have unnecessarily come for you in this post also.

This is excellent advice. OP, when you see the teacher, make sure you explain at the outset that the child is very ugly and that his mother is fat and has turkey teeth.

OP I have read all your posts and it seems that this child is a bully and a racist and that explains your anger at the child and maybe indirectly the parents. I am appalled at the number of people who think this is acceptable language for a 9year old. If it was my child and they dared to speak about an adult using that language they would be grounded for a long time. Parents need to realise that if they just say “kids will be mean”, “cheeky git” etc and minimise the nasty comment the child made he will go on to later call his partner such choice words. This should and must be nipped in the bud.

I suggest asking for a meeting with the teacher and recording it all on email too. In case of further occurrences you will have proof to take the school to task. Kids like these rarely stop quickly as they are inherently bullies. Also encourage your daughter in the first instance to ignore, if they continue complain to the teacher and if it goes on to tell you so you can escalate the matter to the head teacher.

Whilst not taking it to heart, the kid should be taken to task

Why are you dragging his mum in to it calling her fat? I'd imagine that as she's probably a normal person she'd not be happy her son calling anyone names, doesnt need you piling in on her weight.

You dont come across well here.

I think you are overthinking this massively. Its not about you. The kid is just a little shit looking for attention.

Best be dismissive of the boy and the comment or deal with it via school, so your DD can learn to be the same

You would be far better off teaching your daughter to have some resilience. Why on earth did she cry!
Instead of giving your daughter words to fight back, give her words to take out the insult - for example “Yes, but she is my ugly cow!”

Well aren't you a delight?

I had a laugh because he is a very very ugly looking child! And I am a good looking fit woman who has modelled previously.

His own mother is very fat and much much bigger than me.

I have told Dd to tell him with a face like yours I wouldn’t go around insulting others!

Wow.

You sound just as bad, if not worse. Making remarks about a child's looks and his mum's (who hasnt done anything to you) looks and figure. Maybe the 'ugly' he was referring to was your personality.

'well, he started it' 😂well, I'm finishing it, OP, you are nob!

You may be good looking on the outside ( so you say) but the inside needs some work.
why is what you said any better than what a 9 year old has said to your daughter? A child? Who may or may not be a bit of a rougue at school but he’s 9 he has the capacity to grow and learn that calling people names is not acceptable or he might not. Blaming his mother is hardly fair he’s said one wrong thing (not at all condoning that behaviour) and you’ve physically annihilated him and his mum. She might be a lovely mum struggling with him at the moment or just hasn’t realised he’s being rude at school.

What is going after her looks achieving? Did it make you feel better? Do you not feel like you’ve sunk to the same level as a @ year old and done the same thing to the mother. Speak to the teacher, your daughter was upset the teacher cannot help if they don’t know what is being said. Perhaps rise above it a bit and don’t get so personal. It certainly wouldn’t be the lesson I taught my children.

He is a child. You are an adult.
Please, grow up and stop teaching your child to retaliate with even more nastiness.

You all need to learn some lessons here.

Boy was rude but he's a kid so should eventually learn some manners. Go to the teacher if you want to deal with this.

Your daughter will hopefully realise as she matures that it's not really tactful to share insults with the 'insultee'. Would have been better if she'd shared with her other parent, if there is one.

You are probably too old to learn that it's nasty describing people as very very fat, with turkey teeth, fake tan, etc (whether it's true or not), and a child as very very ugly. Sigh.

This sort of thing is often a good opportunity to teach our daughters not to care or be interested when a man comments on our appearance. This boy called the OP an ugly cow because he wanted a reaction - and he got it (the daughter cried, the OP is really quite annoyed). If the OP had genuinely not given a shit about what this child said then perhaps that would have been a bit healthier.

Those random men who make comments to women didn’t pop out of nowhere - they learnt to do this much earlier. Women who are genuinely indifferent to whether a strange man thinks they are attractive don’t feed their need for attention.

‘Cow’ as applied to a woman doesn’t mean fat. It means not a nice person.

Apropos of which, a former nursery teacher once told me how she’d been asking her 3 year olds what their mummies called them. They replied, ‘Honeybunch’, ‘My little soldier’, etc. - but one little girl said ‘Mummy calls me a little cow! She says, ‘You little cow!’ 😱

Hang on… haven’t you also bright or cold up to insult others?!

So you've now taught DD that you shouldn't call people ugly unless they're actually ugly. And that the response to being called ugly is to argue you're not and engage in a weird competition with another oblivious woman, where you argue you're more beautiful; rather than talk about it being wrong to insult someone's appearance? Is that really what you were going for?
If you think there was racism at play, and/or the other child is bullying DD through you, that's something to raise with the school. It's not what was said and whether it's true that matters, it's the motivation.

Since you are @Happilyobtuse I don't know if it does any good to explain to you that you did not model good behaviour to your dd. You could have just shrugged and said "What a silly boy. He needs glasses if he can't see that your mum is drop dead geaorgeous."

Here you are going on about how fat she is, yet on another thread you posted your own stats and you've got an overweight bmi too💁

Your behaviour is as childish as the child who gave the original insult.
To my daughter I would have said that the boy was very rude and brushed it off- end of situation.

I agree.

I am sorry that your DD was upset - it’s awful as a parent to go through this.

But kids sling insults at each other all of the time and most of the time it’s forgotten.
If this has happened more than once then he could be bullying her.

But your reaction is very childish.
”he started it” - he’s 9!

I would have told my DD that what he said was not nice and that he was trying to make her upset and hit her where it hurts.
I would have told her to tell the teacher.

I would not have commented on his appearance or encouraged my child to do so either.

I'm sorry but the boy isn't kind yes but you OP are vile. You're being so nasty and superficial. You should be the grown up not throwing lots of nasty surface level insults back.

I almost think this is a joke thread to wind people up.

You seem very hung up on looks and body shape. Perhaps he was right - maybe he was talking about an ugly personality?