To be furious at my ‘supposedly’ best friend?

Also, her & her sister may argue, but they're still family. Blood is thicker than water.

YABU
I say this as someone who did the same thing, as in I remember me and my best friend at school saying we'd be each others bridesmaids if we ever got married.
I was the one who got married first, and yes she was my bridesmaid.
Then when she got married several years later, did she ask me?
No.
I may have briefly thought "aw, thought I was going to be bridesmaid" but if I did it was a fleeting thought.
Upset and furious? Seriously?! People grow, we're not at school anymore.

I got the rage when i was pregnant too. I'm a very placid person normally, but my god by the end of that 9 months people were terrified of me 😂 Another vote for pregnancy hormones here. Try not to make any rash decisions based on how you feel just now, because you might find it passes. You are the only unrelated bridesmaid, thats an honour! Be there for your friend.

I thought you were going to say she’s excluded you from the wedding altogether. You’re being ridiculous over a title.

Oh dear.. what you have to remember is that this wedding is not just been put together by your friend. It is one thing l saying that she wants you as a MOH but the reality is she has to please two families, hence the assortment of friends and family as BMs and her sister as MOH. Can you reach out to the MOH and offer to take some of the organising of the hen party off her? Maybe you could tell yourself that she maybe MOH but you are the chief bridesmaid. Don't tell your friend you are hurt, its not personal and she has enough going on.

Aah but did they pinkie swear at school🤣🤣

I could never have picked even a bf over my sister to be moh, even if we did make a promise at school.
I would be upset at another friend being picked over me, oe even a cousin, but not a sister.
You don't know if picking you over her sister would cause any upset within her family.
You're still her bf so just relax & enjoy the day with her. Don't spoil her day or a lifelong friendship over this.

I was MOH at my sisters wedding, a highlight of my life. If I ever got married I would want her as mine. My best friend of decades who is like a sister to me would be a bridesmaid. My best friend wouldn’t care at all. Tbf I wasn’t involved in any planning with DSis wedding at all. Take a back seat for a few days and really think this through. It’s no reason to throw away such a friendship. DSis and I even practiced the throwing of the bouquet so that I’d catch it but on the day a nifty little jumping kid snaffled it 😂

Are you taking the piss this has got to be your pregnancy hormones talking you didn’t seriously snub her sister because of a silly little promise you made as kids in primary school 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Only bit of advice I have is to GTFU.

I found out that I will be a bridesmaid whilst her sister is the maid of honour.

How did you find out? From someone else? Sounds like you’re hurt because she hasn’t acknowledged or explained up-front why she hasn’t chosen you.

Have you discussed being each other’s MOH recently? If not, would she remember the ‘agreement’ you made at school? Or think it still applied? I doubt most people remember what they said at school. Maybe it meant more to you than it did to her: understandable if you have no siblings for such roles.

Close friends are gold as you get older. Best not to throw away a good friendship over roles at a wedding. It’s unlikely she’s snubbed you on purpose. Sounds like she was being thoughtful to you due to your pregnancy or felt obliged to choose her sister. If you have a great friendship, talk to her about it, without appearing entitled or presumptious. It’s her wedding and as a good friend you should respect and support her choices.

You don’t need to know them.

Its. Not. Your. Wedding.

Edited because decided it was a bit mean! I'm sorry you are upset but you are still a bridesmaid, try and enjoy it.

I'm an only child and never in a million years would I have carried on like OP.

I get it OP. You made each other a promise and now you feel betrayed because she's broken her end of the deal. You feel even more hurt as you may not have asked her to be your MOH if you hadn't thought that promise to be binding. I'm guessing you're someone who values truth, loyalty, integrity, justice, faithfulness etc very highly too (all very good qualities obviously). You may also be someone who considers your friendships with others to be closer than is sometimes reciprocated. Perhaps you occasionally get disproportionately upset about things that don't even register as a problem with other people too.

If any of the above rings true for you then I'd kindly suggest that you look into an autism diagnosis as this is a very autistic way of thinking. And with respect, your reaction to your friend choosing her sister as maid of honour is unreasonable too. I hope you're able to overcome your hurt and have a lovely time before and at the wedding, knowing you're a very valued friend having been asked to be (possibly the only non-family?) bridesmaid.

Furious...bloody hell OP you are acting like she slept with your husband, rather than she chose her sister as MOH.

You need to get a grip sense of perspective.

I'd be upset too OP if my best friend didn't 'choose' me, as we have always promised to be each others. I have just chosen her to be mine but in 3-4 years time when she eventually gets married our relationship might change somewhat and I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist about it. She might have gotten closer to her sister. I'd understand if you weren't even a bridesmaid but you are included in the wedding party nethertheless, so what is the issue? No point spending a day crying about it.

Oh well, that changes everything 😂😂😅

Bloody hell, you have your second child on the way and you have been “crying all day” because you’re going to be playing a slightly less important role than you wanted at somebody’s party. I sincerely hope this is pregnancy hormones but if isn’t then please give your head a wobble and, if you really want some perspective, go and read some threads on the infertility board so you can see just how much you have to be thankful for.

Ditch the notion of besties, it's for kids. Don't go to the wedding, send a polite no thanks, and move on. You're right, you're not that important to her anymore, such is life.

Friendships often sputter and die natural deaths as we get older, this is one of those times.

Oh just realised you're still a bridesmaid, so were given a place of honour, and you actually think you should usurp her sister 😅😂 Bahahahaha! Leave the poor woman alone.

People are being so mean to you! I would feel sad too - you wanted to be her person on her special day, not just one of the support crew (6 other bridesmaids is a lot!).

it’s horrid when you think the friendship you valued so much perhaps doesn’t mean as much to her

maybe she just felt she couldn’t say no to her sister.it doesn’t seem like she has been very decisive - not a lot of brides have 7 people in their retinue!

Look, there’s absolutely nothing you can do in this situation.

If you say something it’s going to sour her wedding and she (rightly) isn’t going to change her decision. It might also undermine your friendship.

I’m going to be honest, if you said this to me in the lead up to my wedding, I’d probably bin you as a bridesmaid too.

You of course have the option of cutting all contact but that would be one of the greatest examples of cutting off your nose to spite your face in the history of the universe.

So you’re just going to have to suck it up, and perhaps work on how you react to things.

🤣

She's already got one baby (having said that I think that comment was uncalled for, she might be a totally mature mum and just feeling touchy about this one thing)