To be furious at my ‘supposedly’ best friend?

Just ask to be included in some of the planning, I'm sure it won't be an issue. My DH's close friend shared the best man duties between two of his friends. DH organised the stag and a couple of other bits and another friend was in charge of the rings and speeches.

It sounds like your friend is being considerate and not wanting you to feel stressed with organising things whilst you're pregnant. Also, it's her sister and not like a new friend she's just made. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to feel left out, so speak to her about wanting to be involved rather than raging without her being aware she's upset you.

🤣 well if she did that, I can understand the OP being like she is. You never break a pinkie promise!! 😁

I'm 66 and in my experience brides have always had all or mostly adult bridesmaids, it's hardly "the current fashion". They might have had a flowergirl, but that is not a bridesmaid.

You’re still a bridesmaid. Why don’t you offer her sister help with the hen do or any other aspect of the day? Don’t ruin a friendship for this nonsense.

If I was living my life by the things I "decided" in secondary school my children would be called Sandra and Gary.

I was just thinking this! Planning our wedding 20ish years ago didn’t feel this dramatic 😂😂

@MrsJeanLucIt doesn’t explain anything. I’m an only child and would never carry on like this, nor would any of the other onlies I know. It’s down to personality, and the OP’s is bat shit. I second the others telling her to grow up.

Did she pinkie promise 💀

If you're already married, you wouldn't be a bridesmaid or maid of honour anyway, you'd be a matron of honour.

What actual difference does it make? Aren't you both going to be doing the same sort of duties and dressed as the same part of the bridal party?

If she’s picked her sister as moh then don’t step in to help organise anything. She wants her sister to do it all, so leave her to it. If you feel that badly about it then ask to go as a guest instead? But don’t fall out over it, it’s not worth it. The wedding is only for one day. Perhaps her sister kicked off over being moh.

I’m 56 but have some younger friends via dp. The way you all talk about your weddings is batshit, frankly. One woman I know complained that one of her friend’s bridesmaids had had the temerity to move abroad during the two-year engagement - ‘we just don’t have the same values’ was seriously said. Get over yourself, or maybe start a career as a wedding planner.

This is such a nasty generalisation.

Honestly, you are BU for being upset about it and all these brides I read about on her choosing maids of honor or bridesmaids based on who can give them most attention are massively unreasonable too.

That’s the danger with getting your self worth from others.

I’d bear in mind how stressful wedding planning is and the pressure your friend is under to appease everyone, including family. Your feelings are your feelings, but please consider that your friend may be getting similar comments from her closest family. How would it go down if she didn’t choose her sister as maid of honour?
You know how close you and your friend are, you don’t have to compare to her sister. Just be the bigger person.

As a bridesmaid you can still get stuck in and get involved in organising?
my sister was my MOH, and my best friend was bridesmaid. At my BF wedding, her sister was MOH and me bridesmaid, but her sister was bloody useless and I did everything to make sure it was perfect for my friend. I didn’t care about titles, I just wanted her to have the best experience as a hen/bride. She didn’t know who did or didn’t organise stuff as I didn’t need the recognition, it was just for her. If you’d lose a friendship over this maybe you’re not as close as you think you are.

I come on this forum sometimes and am amazed that these people walk among us.

What goes on in their brain development to make them like this??

I was going to say you are definitely unreasonable, until I read that the reason is your pregnancy. Unless you’ve actually told her that it would impact on your ability to perform moh duties then that bit is unreasonable on her part.

Blood is (usually) thicker than water and the sister would obviously have first dibs. Op can’t help feeling hurt but this is a huge overreaction. OP you have to find a way to move past this and reign yourself in.

Seriously, if you’re reacting like this to such a non event your life is going to be one drama after another. Grow up!

My sister was my MOH. Can't stand her, and I only "picked" her because of our parents. You are a bridesmaid, what difference does the title make? Only you and the bride care, everyone else couldn't care less.

Of all the things that are a "big deal" this is not one.

She's probably under a lot of family pressure to have her sister as MOH.

So you being a bridesmaid is not her demoting you. Firstly a pact made in teens can definitely be broken, things change people and relationships change. But if as you say the two of you are very close and she’s not close to her sister yet chose her the obvious reason is family pressure . It sounds like she had to make a choice and she thought you loved and supported her enough to understand.
i kind of get where you were coming from after my best friend (of 25 years at the time) overlooked me for God parent twice (she’s godmother to my eldest) instead she chose cousins and second cousins who she saw once or twice a year. I didn’t cry but I was slightly miffed but I figured she had her reasons and again I suspected pressure to choose family over friends.

Because you sound like a petulant teenager. Stop being such a total chopper and making it all about you or you’ll ruin your friendship with your self centredness.