Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How would you feel if your partner wanted a career that you didn’t want him to have

115 replies

Daisychain67 · 12/01/2026 20:10

I’ve been with my partner since we were teenagers (now 29) and his ultimate dream has always been to be a famous rapper, I’ve known this since I first met him but was obviously really young back then and thought it was ‘cool’.

We’ve got an 8yo daughter together and the older I have got the more mature I have got and the more I just want a quiet life with my family, no fame, no dramas, just me and my family. We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes.

I heard him earlier today in the shower and some of his lyrics were about women and how they basically want him and how attractive they are, I’ve told him before that I’m not comfortable with things like that but it’s always brushed off and I’m told if I don’t like it leave him. I haven’t said anything to him yet as I’m not sure whether to or not.

I’m just not sure if this is what I want but I love him and want him to do what he loves. Am I being unreasonable as I’ve known this is what he’s always wanted for a long time?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
PinkyFlamingo · 02/04/2026 20:03

Why are you staying in a relationship with someone who can't stay faithful to you?

DallazMajor · 02/04/2026 19:57

Wait. What ?

A rapper? What planet is he on.

After saying that OP. Have a word with yourself. You’re worrying about his lyrics !? He’s a cheater ffs.

How low is your bar ?! Tell him to fuck off. A fucking rapper. What a bell end!

OldScribbler · 02/04/2026 19:52

He’s a really useless prospect. Not a nice person either.

OldScribbler · 02/04/2026 19:45

He’s a really useless prospect.

OldScribbler · 02/04/2026 19:42

He’s a very bad bet.

blooooooor · 21/01/2026 17:42

🤭 a rapper… c’mon.

Long time ago I knew someone who’s partner admitted to her that he always wanted to be (drum roll)….. porn movie director 😆🤣 Relationship didn’t last, for various other reasons

Blondiebeachbabe · 21/01/2026 17:17

I bet he talks with a Caribbean accent as well, even though he was born in Milton Keynes. 🙄Gah, it's just not very "grown up", is it?

Blondiebeachbabe · 21/01/2026 17:15

Crikey, he sounds like a child. What a turn off. He cheats on you, and is really singing about that kind of thing around you. How utterly juvenile. I'd leave him and get yourself a real grown up man.

TheClocksFast · 21/01/2026 17:05

Sounds like he mainly cares about himself. He also doesn’t sound like a great person. Your relationship is heading nowhere (with a lot of pain for you along the way).

And ‘People Just Do Nothing’ has just jumped into my head… You’re not Miche are you!?

Nevs · 21/01/2026 16:35

A famous rapper 🤣🤣🤣

Well of course he’s not been faithful, what do you expect from a man who aspires to such things?

It’s a might be generalisation but rappers generally do not mature much past their teenage years. They’ll stay in their youth mentality well into their 30s and 40s. Despite the fact they’ll rap about been “grown” and how their troubled pasts have “shaped them to the man they are today” blah blah… their idea of maturity differs from that of the majority of the population.

I find the whole UK rap and drill culture a bit of a cringefest, but that’s just me.

KimberleyClark · 21/01/2026 16:15

Hatty65 · 12/01/2026 20:12

We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes.

Just dump him. He's not going to be famous and he sounds dreadful! It takes more than shouting shit about women to be a rapper. He's getting on a bit in years, too, to make it in the music industry.

This. He doesn’t sound like a good long term prospect.

JHound · 21/01/2026 16:01

damemaggiescurledupperlip · 14/01/2026 18:54

If he did , by some miracle, make it big as a rapper, do you think for one minute he’d stay with you?

I mean, this really.

Lockdownsceptic · 21/01/2026 15:59

You can’t control a man to the extent you seem to want to do so any more than you would be comfortable with him controlling you. You must decide if he is still the man for you. Without condoning the sentiments of the raps I do think it is unreasonable to stop a DP from following their dreams, especially if you have known about them from the beginning.

JHound · 21/01/2026 15:49

A man like this would never be my partner so its moot.

YouOKHun · 21/01/2026 15:47

damemaggiescurledupperlip · 14/01/2026 18:54

If he did , by some miracle, make it big as a rapper, do you think for one minute he’d stay with you?

Agree with @damemaggiescurledupperlipThis the problem: stay with a failed rapper - you lose. Stay with a suddenly successful rapper - you lose

How he treats you now is what matters. How he’ll treat you if he’s [miraculously] successful is worth considering because it doesn’t look good - he will be off like a rat out of an aqueduct. If he never fulfils his dream [the most likely scenario] then he will probably blame everybody else, principally you. Either way you will have put your life on hold/made huge compromises regarding your own values and goals in life for someone who does not indicate the same investment or thought for you.

EmeraldSakara · 21/01/2026 11:58

MasterBeth · 12/01/2026 20:14

Well, he's not going to have a career as a famous rapper, is he? So your dilemma is actually "How would you feel if your partner was a juvenile, sexist twat?"

Nailed it!

JetSkiRental · 21/01/2026 07:13

He sounds like a loser. No self respecting man needs to boast about how women find him attractive.

Zerosleep · 21/01/2026 07:11

Wow OP he sounds like a real catch 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ honestly you need more self respect, doesn’t sound like he has any for you.

He sounds like a stupid little boy who needs to grow up.

DramaQueenlady · 17/01/2026 09:21

SoScarletItWas · 12/01/2026 20:30

I’m sorry to use ChatGPT in a flippant, resource-wasting way, but sometimes it comes up with the perfect answer 😌🎤

You talk big bars, but you live off lies,
Claim you on the come-up, but I don’t see the rise.
While you chase groupies, I was holding you down,
Now you just another mixtape nobody found.

You said “don’t like it? Leave!,” and you stay off beat,
Can’t stay faithful, can’t stay making rent or heat.
I’m the realest verse you’ll never get back,
I evolved - meanwhile you still blaming the track.
Mic check: I’m gone, no encore, no plea,
I’m platinum in real life, you SoundCloud-free. 🔥

I hate rap, but gosh love this spot on

WryNecked · 16/01/2026 23:51

You think the problem with him is that he wants to be a rapper?

Slippylittlesuckers · 16/01/2026 23:39

I read your post and all the while I’m thinking does he wear jeans that hang off the bottom of his arse and does he wear his baseball hat backwards?

Seriously, he seems very immature and you deserve so much better OP. He’s never going to be a rapper, and you’re never going to be happy and fulfilled if you stay with him.

PersephonePomegranate · 16/01/2026 23:17

He sounds an absolute bellend. Why are you with this cheating shitbag?

He's never going to be a famous rapper. He makes me think of the wannabe DJs in People Just do Nothing.

ellyeth · 16/01/2026 23:09

He sounds vile. I can't think why you would want to stay with someone so ignorant and unkind. If it is at all possible for you to leave, I think it would be much better for you - and your child.

SheSaidHummingbird · 16/01/2026 01:58

@Daisychain67 Your post reads like an AI answer to the prompt 'describe a partner and include as many 'icks' as possible; truly revolt me, don't hold back.'

MsDitsy · 15/01/2026 23:30

Daisychain67 · 12/01/2026 20:10

I’ve been with my partner since we were teenagers (now 29) and his ultimate dream has always been to be a famous rapper, I’ve known this since I first met him but was obviously really young back then and thought it was ‘cool’.

We’ve got an 8yo daughter together and the older I have got the more mature I have got and the more I just want a quiet life with my family, no fame, no dramas, just me and my family. We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes.

I heard him earlier today in the shower and some of his lyrics were about women and how they basically want him and how attractive they are, I’ve told him before that I’m not comfortable with things like that but it’s always brushed off and I’m told if I don’t like it leave him. I haven’t said anything to him yet as I’m not sure whether to or not.

I’m just not sure if this is what I want but I love him and want him to do what he loves. Am I being unreasonable as I’ve known this is what he’s always wanted for a long time?

Great example you are to your 8 year old daughter. Staying with a cheating misogynistic, egotistical, mean loser. Show her you value yourself, be the strong woman you want her to become.