What should a 13/14 year old be doing?

My 12 and 15 year olds - keep their rooms tidy, change their sheets, load and unload the dishwasher, put a load of laundry on, put it in the drier/hang out, fold and put away, feed and clean out pets.

So lovely to hear this!

My 14-yr old is expected to fill and empty the dishwasher, put laundry washes on and hang up, tidy his room. None of which he does without being prompted 🙄

I should add I have to promote them both to shower/bath. I also have to prompt the 9 year old to brush his teeth but not the 13 year old 🤷🏻‍♀️. They don’t have to make any food for themselves but the 9year old has a go if I’m not quick enough. The 13 year old can’t butter toast

My 13 year old has absolutely no set chores and neither does his 9 year old brother. We do expect them to put their litter in bins and any crockery/cups by the sink but that’s it.

My 13 year old DS is expected to keep his room tidy, put his washing away, we all clean up after dinner every day together and sometimes do a 30 minute tidy where we all tidy the whole house simultaneously. He makes his own packed lunch and breakfast every day including washing up the box and tidying up after himself. If I ask, he’ll tidy any room I ask. He showers every day but getting him to learn that habit took a good year and was painful. He still needs the odd firm word about changing his pants and socks every day. He cooks dinner when asked but isn’t so keen on it. We’re still working towards doing it once a week.

My nearly 12 year old DD is much more inclined to be involved in household and family tasks but more reluctant to tidy her room or put her own washing away. She is so helpful and loves doing stuff for the nearly 2 year old. She loves cooking and hanging out with us whilst we care for youngest DD.

I could see DS becoming a lazy partner if the situation allowed. If he’s heterosexual and has a partner who assumes things are her job and he’s good to help. The word ‘help’ is banned when it comes to housework — doing their part is the allowed language

Make bed & open curtains
largely expected to have a tidy room
washing in the basket
put away clean washing
help when tidying - mostly running up and downstairs!
washes up after Sunday dinner and sometimes on other days, especially when we’re busy
babysitting occasionally

he’s very good at getting up, dressed and ready and being on top of school work so try to not give him too much of a hard time! He will always help when asked without too much grumbling.

At 13, mine were responsible for their own rooms (and obviously putting own washing away / putting clothes for wash into the basket), they were expected to cook a meal for the family one evening a week, on evening they weren't cooking, they were expected to either lay the table and get everyone drinks, or to load the dishwasher or empty it. Then occasional things to help when asked (like if they happened to be in when someone arrives home with the weekly shop - to help put it away, or if I'd gone out and they were at home, to hang out the washing when it was done, type of thing.

At that sort of age, I was expected to:

Keep my own room clean and tidy, including stripping/making the bed, vacuuming and emptying bins.
Wash the dishes after dinner and laying the table beforehand.
Do my fair share of the laundry, including folding and putting away.
Empty the main bins when asked.
Keep my own bathroom clean and wash towels/bath mat etc.

I was also expected to vacuum and do whatever else needed doing around the house, and at weekends/in the holidays I would be responsible for cooking my own lunch and washing up too.

12 year old empties dishwasher each morning, makes bed and keeps room tidyish, sweeps front drive on a Saturday morning in the summer, lays and clears table (alternating with younger sibling) and puts clean clothes away. None of it is automatic but usually done after one ask.

Will also hoover when asked, make coffee and do a front room tidy up.

Pretty proud of him (although know better than to ask anything of him if he’s hungry!)

13 year old boys go through a weird stage of not washing unless they’re told to. Mine improved around 14 although doing chores needed constant reminders. Bedroom was a pigsty. He met his GF and suddenly learned how to shower and he’s never looked back.
He’s tidy now but I’d write off the early teenage years, their brain development limits their ability to process these things so don’t get too stressed. It gets better.

how fabulous of you mom to organise your kids well done

so many lazy kids that turn into adults. xxxx

14 - washes up and loads dishwasher after dinner, hoovers the stairs once a week, dusts and hoovers his own room weekly, hangs up wet laundry once a week on a weekend day, keeps own room tidy

8 - dries up and wipes down dining table after dinner, sorts laundry into lights and darks ready for washing, lays table for dinner, helps brother with laundry when it's their turn (hanging up smaller items mainly) and keeps his room tidy

They both help with meal prep at the weekend and can make basic meals and they both also take out the recycling

Our 13 year old walks the dog one day then does the dishes the next day. Our 15 year old does the alternate. They are responsible for keeping their room tidy and getting themselves up/ready for school and going to bed at a reasonable hour.

My 13-year old is responsible for watering plants, taking trash out, putting clothes away, keeping room clean, and laying the table for dinner - all of it happens after some nagging, but it happens. Easier to do it myself but I'm trying to raise a kid that doesn't turn into one of the MN men we have daily threads about (not picking up after themselves, lazy, entitled etc!). Good luck!