What should a 13/14 year old be doing?

at that age mine were responsible for
-tidying and cleaning their own rooms
-changing bedding including washing/hanging up to dry
-unloading dishwasher
-sorting/folding laundy
-cooking dinner (once a month)
-setting/clearing dinner table

probably more...

Essentially they should be doing what you want them to do and there is a massive range of choice there. I never insisted mine did anything. One was super tidy and enjoyed doing lots of jobs, she just mucked in when she saw things needing done like DH and I do. The other was a messy little shit and barely brought clothes to washing. Both turned out to be successful, independent adults who manage their homes and work lives. So it really does depend on what you want them to do.

My 14dd does not do lots. Keeps her bedroom tidy, changes her bedding, sorts out washing. Once a week she will help me for around an hour to do a deeper clean. She’ll tidy if she sees mess as she hates it.
she is very independent though and I don’t have to remind her to do anything in terms of her own things. She trains 6 times a week for a sport, and volunteers once a week, so that on top of homework she doesn’t have a lot of free time.

Thanks, I'm lucky though as both boys are naturally quite tidy and are happy to muck in, it's never really been a battle.

14 year old DS does not a lot tbh. Will walk the dog if asked, will put the vacuum round if asked. Has to be reminded to put a plate in the dishwasher rather than leave on the side. Will clean his dirty football boots. Will make himself some food if he’s hungry, will sometimes make us a cup of tea.

However he’s a good kid, doing well at school so I’m not on his case too much.

11 year old DD loves keeping her bedroom immaculately tidy.

I never want anyone but me doing the laundry in our house. I’m always thinking one wash ahead and it would screw up my weeks laundry plans if kids went rogue and started doing their own.

My 13 yo DS is in charge of the recycling and taking the bins in and out on bin day. He does the dishwasher and takes the dog when asked. He would not do this unprompted though.

he showers every morning. This is mainly because he is very particular about his hair I think!

he keeps his room tidy and puts his own washing away.

10 year old dd likes to dust so does that on occasion. She will take it upon herself to empty the dishwasher. She keeps her room fairly tidy. She puts her own washing away.

both kids make their own breakfasts and lunches. I want to get DS cooking the odd simple tea soon and putting a wash on. I would like him to start taking a bit of initiative too and doing things without being asked but to be fair I don’t think I ever did anything without being asked at 13.

That's impressive!

He is responsible for making his own bed and cleaning his room, polishing / vacuuming / stripping bed and remaking. He is responsible for the landing vacuuming.He feeds the dog his dinner and walks him before and after school. Putting his clothes away. Tidying up after himself. Some cooking.

he does self care well. Showers daily without being asked. Works out in his room. Piano practice daily.

Light cooking, cleaning bathroom, bedroom, kitchen and living areas, put food away, laundry, changing beds, dishes, taking out trash, pet care including walking dog or cleaning cat litter boxes, mowing or snow shoveling, at that age he should be able to take care of a place without guidance.

My just turned 15 year old changes his sheets, lays the table when it's his turn, makes his own breakfast/lunch, helps with tidying, brings his own and younger brothers laundry down, puts his clean washing away. He has to be reminded/nagged to do all those things though and he will only wash willingly when trying to impress a girl!

I went from reminding mine to clean his teeth twice every bloody day to reminding him he really does NOT need 3 showers a day FFS... One extreme to the other 🤣

Mine (14) does dishwasher duties, cleans the kitchen, walks the dog occasionally and makes his own meals. Brings 372 glasses down from his room occasionally too ... He always ALWAYS asks what he can do to help me and this matters to me more than what he actually ends up doing.

Cheerful obedience 🤣

13yo very helpful at food shopping - likes to be strong & carry the bags I think. 11yo better at putting it away at home.

11 & 13yo - regularly clears table, hoovers / tidies a room when asked. Makes simple meals, eg scrambled egg or waffles for breakfast. Put their own washing away, bring a basket of dirty washing down when asked. Generally will do anything they’re asked to, not much automatically though

Jesus the bar is high

😂

I need to crack the whip (not literally, MN, don't report me)

15 year old
Walks & feeds dog daily
Puts away washing
Changes bed sheets on his bed
keeps own room somewhat tidy
alternates clearing ash out of stove with younger brother & restocking firewood etc
alternates emptying dishwasher with younger brother
low level cooking, pasta, scrambled egg, put stuff in oven

13 year old
dog walks as needed
empty dishwasher
put away own washing
tidy room
Stove duty

10 year old
dishwasher
bringing down laundry for washing
pairing socks & putting away

We don't really have set chores for DS16 and DD12; they're expected to bring dirty washing to the basket, put clean clothes away, and move their dirty dishes/general litter. Beyond that we ask them when we want something doing and they're very affable- even helping with DIY and decorating. I'd say we get cheerful obedience but not conscious awareness haha

Also I forgot that couple of times lately he has helped put the food shopping away and he's done a good job so will start getting him to help with this more often. I get him to carry the bags from the car too sometimes as he's getting nearly as strong as me!

My DS12 empties the dishwasher most days, helps clear up table after dinner, washes up pans etc at weekend when we've cooked a roast or similar. He keeps his own bedroom tidy, changes his bedding. He puts his clean clothes away (badly!)
He will run the cordless hoover round downstairs occasionally.

He can make his own packed lunch but he's pretty slow. I tend to do it as its quicker and he has activities during the week which can take up 3 to 4 hours with travel.

He bakes with me sometimes and can make shortbread on his own. He says he wants to start having a try at cooking which we need to start doing with him.

Reading what I've put here, I think he does pretty well. However he does leave a wave of destruction wherever he goes - comes home from school dumps bags and shoes in middle of hall, leaves blazer on landing, takes clothes off in bathroom and leaves on floor, has poo and leaves poo stains! I make him pick everything up and clean the loo every time but when oh when will he do this/stop doing it without me reminding him!

We have chore chart

Emptying household bins
Hoovering stairs
Laying table
Cleaning table after dinner
They have to clean and hoover bedrooms every weekend
Put own washing away
Emptying dishwasher
They are starting to put loads on themselves as they want certain clothes washed.

They feed themselves morning and lunch. Dinner is family meal made by me or dh.

No chores no WiFi or devices

13 year old cooks himself breakfast and also french toast for sister. Sometimes helps with car washing but nothing else.

9 year old - nothing

My 13 year old is expected to cook dinner once a week as DH and I are out. Also get DC1 out to school on time on the morning we're out at work before they leave for school. Put laundry away, put dirty laundry in the correct laundry basket. keep room vaguely tidy, strip and remake bed, vacuum when required, usually only happens after nagging. Joint responsible with sibling for keeping one bathroom clean, usually turns into a massive argument.

Not regularly, but expected if asked to:
Put on a wash or hang it up.
Take bins out.
If around at the weekends, help cook a meal or help with the washing up.
Clear own stuff to the dishwasher.
Clean windows.
Help weed the garden.

Mine is nearly 14 and very good natured so will do anything when asked-so most days he will take bins out, clear table, put washing away, take dog out, put bed linen on, hoover etc.
Very occasionally he’ll do those things unprompted.
He showers of his own accord most mornings but still needs reminding to brush his teeth.

It depends on what he was doing prior to the age of 14, really. You can't just expect him to magically acquire skills upon reaching an arbitrary age. Did he have any responsibilities when younger? Does he have clear responsibilities now?
My step kid was doing own laundry, cleaning their room, doing washing up after family breakfast every Saturday, walked the dog, hoovered the living room, prepared own school lunches. But these were all the skills we started working on when they were much younger.