To be shocked at DS's reaction to my suggestion he brings new GF to family party

You are in the minority!

I have so many questions. Is it all a horrible and traumatic episode you would rather not discuss or are you open to an AMA?

None of us know the dad.

The DS does know his dad and he didn’t like that his father seems to have asked from the outset to see a photo of his girlfriend.

So the fact that DS was not happy about it might just indicate his dad’s intentions weren’t as pure as the driven snow

As a dad, would it be the very first thing you asked? To see a photo?

He was also annoyed that his dad asked to see a picture of her before asking what she does etc.

gross

I probably would ask yes. I genuinely see it as taking an interest. It would never have occurred to me it was weird. It of course isn’t a demand so if anyone felt uncomfortable then it’s fine to refuse and move the conversation on. I just don’t think the ‘eeww’ and ‘gross’ comments are fair.

Why do peope want to know what people do for a living first?

They never ask how anyone is, are they happy etc.

My DS is 28, he is a lovely man, very proud of him. He told us over the weekend that he has a new girlfriend, their first date was the start of October but they have only just labelled it. At the start of February we are hosting a party for DHs 60th, it will be a rare event where most of the family and extended family will be around. I suggested to DS he brings his new GF, she could meet his brother and all the wider family in a very casual environment where there would be very little attention on her, I thought this would be ideal, it is also close enough to home for DS and her that if they felt uncomfortable or overwhelmed it would be easy to leave early with no fuss. DS has had 2 long term relationships before this one and in both cases we met the girl within about 2-3 months of their first date, so I didn't anticipate him viewing it as too soon.
However DS got quite short with me saying no its far too soon and a weird environment to introduce her to, I apologised but he kept going saying its not up to me when we meet her, but I don't feel I suggested it was. He then said we can all go out for dinner and we can meet her then, maybe the next time his brother is down (so likely March/April). I said that would be lovely and I look forward to meeting her whenever he is ready.
Figured that would be the end of the conversation, but no he has messaged again saying he is annoyed I even suggested the family party. I can't help but feel he is over reacting, I know I wasn't pushy, all I said was "your dads party is on x date, the whole family is coming, feel free to bring your girlfriend if you like, just let me know for numbers".
He was also annoyed that his dad asked to see a picture of her before asking what she does etc. which while I appreciate was a shallow response from DH, I don't think it is that bad! And she is absolutely stunning so no reason DS wouldn't want to share (not that it would matter if she wasn't as long as he is happy).

AIBU to be shocked by the reaction and to wonder if there is something else going on?

Ewww. His father wants to assess his girlfriend's attractiveness and you want to assess her suitability by him parading her at a social event. No wonder he's unhappy - it's probably killed off his previous two relationships.

Absolute moon howlers in here tonight.

Another thread where I feel like I live in a parallel universe to most of mumsnet.
Inviting the person your child is in a relationship with to a family party is totally normal as long as it’s fine if they chose to decline. Asking questions about that person and asking to see a photo is also a totally normal interest to show in your child and their life. If they ignored her existence, would that be better?

And getting scarier

Oh no!!! Please don’t start a thread that men are scary on here…

anyway…. Back to the topic, hope you manage to get a resolve op 👍

Calm down, you’re getting a bit scary

Have a day off will you….

the son that had a paddy cause his mum invited him and his new partner to a family doo?

you don’t know this, only what’s in your brain..

Jesus, it’s no wonder men are thought of as awful on here…

Head. Wall. Bang.

In this scenario, this adult son clearly thinks this man (his father!) was being very off. Probably because he know his father and what he is like.

All men? No. This man, well his son seems to think so

What a load of b0ll0xs

didnt answer my question though… roles reversed??

women can and are sexual predators too you know…! Just saying

no wonder the world is going to pot. Can a dad change a daughters nappy nowadays without people saying they are pervs…

It’s about the individual

and this 28 year old man who knows his father….. doesn’t think his father’s intentions were as pure as the driven snow!

Again…. Roles reversed…. What would you think??

oh sorry, hang on, all men on here are horrible and nasty… I forgot…

the son sounds like he needs a head wobble.

but yes, a dad asking for a pic (showing interest) obvs means he is a perv/ paedo… gotcha!!

god forbid his mum asked the same question.. oh yeah, no one would have batted an eyelid…

Equality?? Of course as long as it suits on here

Oh hush.

The fact is his OWN SON who knows his father thought it was dodgy.