AIBU to make teenage DD get a job

She's 17. That's too old for pocket money. Yes, she should be looking for work, in less than a year, she will be a legal adult. She needs to learn to manage money and income now, before she is actually needing to support herself.

@Candleinalantern thats a shame, anxiety is a funny thing, I have it, started after my DD died so I know what it’s like to be supremely confident. One of the best ways to treat it is to try situations you don’t like. You can fold in on yourself, I shut myself away for a while and it just drains your confidence more.

I'd tell her that if she doesn't want to get a job then she needs to find something else to do with her time that's productive. Rotting in her room for 4 days a week is no longer an option.

Why are you allowing her to hide in a cave? Tell her she can have one lie in a week other than that she must be out of her room by 09:00 and actively doing something. Leaving young adults to fester in their room is not doing them any favours. No wonder they struggle with the outside world when parents let them behave like hobbits.

PT work is hard to get. Volunteering would be ideal as it can be just a couple of hours a week to start and something she loves like working at a pet shelter.

@PoliteSquid I had stint when at school working at a major supermarket, it was the first superstore in the area and there was around 20 of us on the check outs. We had to wear a pleated skirt, blazer , blouse and cravat! Plus it was type in numbers and assigning to the correct dept. Would have been 1983. It was my 4th job and I was 16. Because I did so well they put me in the cash office. We counted money by hand and machine. I remember counting out 24k, a days takings.

Its hard parenting teens now isn't it. They go out so much less than we did.

At that age I did event waitressing and also was out every weekend clubbing...would be gone for days !

That 'little job in Tesco' will have hundreds of applicants, will require several online tests, interview where the candidates must prove previous customer service experience, and require the employee works specific hours.
The days of companies employing a child are gone.

She could perhaps volunteer as a reading assistant at her last school as familiar surroundings may make doing something like this less daunting. Alternatively, volunteering with a youth group or some kind would work too. Again, perhaps aligned with her interests or past experience.

Leaflet delivery could also be an option but won't give her the social contact that volunteering at a school or youth group/ activity would do.

It will be something to put on her cv too.

Paid part time jobs that fit the days she's available will be difficult to find for this age group (or any age group to be honest) but not impossible.

Is there any support from her school on setting up work experience or volunteering where they might have contacts already?

It is much harder getting weekend jobs now but my two have both managed it. It hasn't been easy though.

Most jobs for young people around here are zero hours and or seasonal and you are treated like crap. Very hire and fire and they prefer 16 years olds because they are cheaper ( DD was let go as she was going to be 18 at the start of the next season so the boss took on more younger ones to train up ready for the busy time) She had seen it happen with other colleagues and then her time came for the chop!

You can never plan anything and you never know your shifts that far in advance and even if you do it will be changed or cancelled at the last moment ( on quite a few occasions once you've paid to travel to work and have actually already walked through the door)

Shops always seem to want them to work both days of the weekend and one in the week which gets in the way of school and homework/revising.

DS was a lifeguard and even on a 12 hour contract was badgered into working so much overtime he never got any time for revision or homework and messed up his first year of A levels as a result. We made him resign as it was too much.

The other thing I've noticed is that jobs seem to go to friends of existing employees. DD got her first job because my son's friend got her a trial shift. She got her current job because the owner knows me.

So different in my day when I walked into Tesco's at 15, asked for a job and started the following week and stayed for three years as a Saturday girl.

Jobs are really hard to come by at the moment unless you can be available 24/7.

DS1 is at Uni and said he has looked for part time jobs but he is in Falmouth so very seasonal and then they want you to do shifts throughout the week - I don't want him to be missing lectures / study time as that is what I did as had no parental help so needed to work a lot of shifts in order to pay the bills - I ended up taking on more shifts and missing more lectures until I eventually dropped out.

DD though is in last year of 6th form (5 days a week). She has had a Saturday job since she was 14 in a local cafe run by a charity as her friends dad runs it (Nepotism!!). She has been lucky as some of her friends have managed to get waitressing jobs elsewhere and I have heard some horror stories! All of the jobs advertised around here (I have been looking as could do with a little extra cash) require a weekend shift and then a shift in the week so does not fit in with school.

30 years ago my full time college course was 15 hours a week
I did have a weekend job though.

It is very hard for teenagers and students to get part time jobs these days. The one exception I can think of where it is usually quite easy to get a job is becoming a lifeguard. Can she swim? She doesn't need to be a club level swimmer, just an ok one. The qualification is called the NPLQ and it takes a week and costs around £300. The courses are mostly in school holidays.

When we go to supermarkets the checkouts are mostly self service - when I worked in a supermarket there were 10-15 of us on the tills all the time.

I delivered newspapers aged 13-15, supplemented with babysitting at 15+ I wouldn’t employ a random 15 yo to look after my small children now, but it used to be the norm. And there are no local newspapers to deliver and not many people buy daily newspapers anyway.

Macdonalds and other fast food places are incredibly competitive. 500 applicants for a handful of jobs in a newly opened one here!

A part time job is important, but good luck finding one!

I think having a job at this age is really important. It builds social skills, time management and the learn about working with all sorts of people.
mine both worked from age 16/17 and I really would encourage it for their future

A job could help but it's a v difficult market right now. The Saturday/part time jobs we had as teens just don't exist these days. If there isn't work, then could she get some work experience in the sector she'd like to eventually work in?

No jobs

most employers won’t take on under 18s now.

YANBU but it can be hard to find a job. DD has been looking for over a year, but has had no luck. We live far from the city where she goes to college, and they always employ local people over her.

DD volunteered at the city museum until they changed the rules and volunteers now need to be over 18. She is currently volunteering in the city library, and will go back to volunteering at the museum once she is over 18. She is also looking at volunteering at the cathedral.

She is learning good skills to put on her CV and will have 3 different people to provide references. She is learning the importance of being on time, and sometimes working 10 minutes over to get the job done.

She is working for free which also looks good. DD wants to go to Uni, so was able to put her volunteering on her application, which her tutor said would help a lot.

Good luck with that!

Jobs for youngsters - temporary/part time - are virtually non-existent. Zero hours contracts mean the 'existing' staff snap up any extra hours. Even if young people get them, if they can't say an immediate yes to a shift because of lessons, exams etc, they are bounced out.
A 'little job in Tesco' is almost impossible. Just getting through to the on line selection process is a miracle. Then they will require probably 16-18hrs a week minimum, one shift must be weekend and one evening....
And there are only so many pot-washers the local pub can employ.

Absolutely make her get a job. At 17 I travelled and interviewed for jobs in London and then moved there, alone to work.

A little job in Tesco will do her the world of good. She may well hate it, but it'll be good in the long run. I hated London / my job to start with, but my independence rocketed from it.

Because there are not many jobs.
Retail and hospitality industries are fucked and that’s where we all used to get jobs.

The labour market now and the labour market 20 years ago are not the same.

Is her anxiety the kind where she finds people overwhelming, and socialisation physically draining, OP?

I was very much like this as a teen, and the few days that I had off from the rest of the world were brilliant for recuperating and recharging. My bedroom was my safe space. My family didn't understand this. I should have juggled sixth form five days a week with a part-time job and driving lessons and socialising, because that was normal and my older sibling managed all of that. For me, it was just too much to cope with. I did learn to drive and get a job eventually, but it just took me a little bit longer. Eventually, I dropped out of dealing predominantly with people and now work largely with animals. I now work partly with teens. Most of our local, "Ew, people!" teens get jobs milking on dairy farms, which are plentiful around here.

A friend who also suffers with anxiety also struggled. She didn't have a part-time job until university, when she started working at a farm park, because animals are less anxiety-inducing than people.

At a push, might she be interested in something more animal-based? I'm aware that not everyone likes animals, by the way!

If you find out how to make her get a job please let me know. It is brutal out there and very very difficult for young people to get jobs.