Neighbour(s) blank us

Where did “leave them alone” come from?! Where in OP’s comments has she given any impression that she harasses or stalks them?!

You absolutely can help your anxiety about the situation. Stop medicalising anxiety. It's a normal human emotion but you're not at the mercy of it. As long as you've examined your own behaviour and are satisfied that you're not an unreasonable neighbour, then literally banish the neighbours from your mind. Practice not giving a shit and soon you won't. They're just some random weirdo. Let them get on with it and focus on your own life. Don't creep round your own home and make yourself smaller. Just crack on. Yes it's nicer if people are vaguely civil but they're not going to be, so just stop yourself from giving a shit. It gets easier once you've made peace with it.

I am sorry to hear that your neighbours are being a tad ignorant, I would just kill with kindness... wave if they are far away and belt out a cheery good morning when they are within speaking distance. Then they will be discomforted and not you.

My neighbours only speak to me when they need something... like last night at 8:30 when their lodger had locked himself out and needed to use our ladder to climb over the wall and let himself in... that happens about twice a year!

My neighbours opposite ignore me. Neighbours each side are lovely and stop for a chat if we’re outside but the ones opposite don’t acknowledge. It used to bother me but I gave my head a wobble and don’t bother smiling or waving anymore.

Don’t take it personally, you sound fine, that’s just the culture of the street. My neighbours are all nice but I only speak to them if I can’t avoid it. There is a WhatsApp group where we help each other with parcels and Ring video footage and I would always do them favours and vice versa. It’s nothing to do with them, I just don’t enjoy making small talk and so I avoid it.

I want nothing to do with our neighbour - their dog barks incessantly when they're out and I'm heartily sick of it and they know it. It's their refusal to even acknowledge it's an issue - that and the gaslighting.

Does your dog bark when you're out Op?

I suspected it was the dog too.
Was your neighbour friends with the person you bought the house from? Did you have any issues with the purchase? Did you bid the seller down substantially?
Other than that maybe your neighbours are just unfriendly. Perhaps they don’t want to get too friendly with someone who has a young child, in case you ask them to babysit.

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Some people are just like that and it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you or anything you have/haven’t done.

I’m mostly quiet and introverted and although I’d never blank a neighbour, I wouldn’t go out of my way to chat to them. Saying that, our next door neighbours are lovely people and we do have a blether in the garden sometimes.

I agree with PP’s about perhaps joining some local play groups etc. or a fitness class if you’re into that. Some gyms do mum and baby classes and they’re a great way to meet people and make friends.

Before we moved our old neighbours were odd. They were a normal family but the husband was so polite and friendly but you could NOT get away! It got to the point if he was outside I'd have to wait until he went in to leave and if he appeared I'd dash in the house so as not to get stuck. Nice enough bloke but honestly he was a nightmare. His wife of the other hand was so strange, she would chat sometimes but others she would just blank you as if she was annoyed, others she'd try and invite you round. She clearly had a bit of a split personality. Needless to say we moved out and they ended up getting divorced. He found out he had Cancer and so she left him!

My point you don't know what others have going on in their life, they may not have the headspace to stand chatting to you. Just get on with your own life, if you are seeking friendship try some Mum and toddler classes. Be grateful you don't have to stand chatting for hours, it honestly sounds a dream scenario especially as they don't cause you any problems and keep to themselves.

If you really want to push to create community feel you could Try and organise something for the whole street, personally I'd count my blessings and get on with my own life and let others do the same.

We had neighbours who ignored us. As soon as they moved in they had tall fences put in all round their property, front and back - if they saw us in the street they would look away and not say hello or good morning or anything. We just thought they were very odd. We've never had a problem with any other neighbours. Sometimes you just have to accept that some people are unfriendly!

If you haven't done anything to upset her or spoke on a personal level then it's not personal. She's probably socially awkward or grumpy for her own reasons.

My neighbours are like this. I find it a bit strange that people don't want to be on 'saying hello' terms with their neighbours (you might need each other's help one day!) But each to their own. Just treat them how they want to be treated.

It’s probably not personal at all, maybe they just have no interest in being friends with neighbours. Perhaps they’ve had problems with past neighbours and have decided to keep their distance.

To be honest, when you wre too friendly and know the neighburs it can invite troube and disputes. It is better not to get too familiar with people that live near you in the event of a dispute.

if you live in the south east I think it’s fairly normal. Certainly is in London. I’ve been here for years and have issues with facial recognition so it’s a struggle even before factoring in the turnover of many neighbours (short term rentals), but I do say hello and occasionally chat to the ones that I can place (they look unusual or they have a dog). If I’m honest I find most of them hard to tell apart as they all have the same hair, clothes and accents. It’s also quite a busy street with people commuting so very little chance to isolate who might be a resident.

I would agree with those that have said not to give this too much room in your head. The key is getting out more then you won’t care so much. Doubt it’s personal.

Join a mums & tots group that will help you. Unfortunately not everyone is friendly at the school gates either!

Tbh I think this isn't that unusual really. She may be worried about her DD shouting. Maybe she is just an introvert.you sound a bit lonely. Can you meet other mums for a coffee.or try the soft play centre. Perhaps pt work outside the house would suit when possible

I don’t talk to my neighbours next to us, they were getting massive parcels delivered to us (a queen sized divan bed for example!) and not bothering to pick them up for weeks despite knowing they were here and then when they did pick them up it would be knocking on my door at stupid oclock at night so I got annoyed with them. The rest are lovely but mainly old people who enjoy having a chit chat.

as long as your not failing to pick up your parcels from them, all I can imagine is that a) they could be neurodivergent b) they just like to keep themselves to themselves. Doesn’t make them odd.

You haven't done anything wrong. Some people are just very private. You would feel happier if she acknowledged you. She would feel vulnerable if she did - wary that you were intruding on her personal space.

I'm like you, and happily say hello to folks, but have learned to develop a thicker skin. We have recently moved, however, and it is lovely having friendly neighbours again.

Have neighbours like this. Never acknowledged a wave. We had a flash flood and the house flooded. We spent a few days pulling out carpet, ruined furniture and moving it to the front for collection. neighbour (higher side so not impacted) kept their normal coming/going carefully ensuring their heads were down to ensure no eye contact! At least I know clearly where I stand 🤷🏻‍♀️. I just ignore them back

The way you describe the neighbour that blanks you - her husband chats- suggests to me that it’s her issue and not something you can fix. If you were annoying then her husband would likely be in on the act.

The other neighbours sound like they are just minding their own business.

Kindly , if you feel lonely , then you need to look further afield. Are there mother / toddler groups timed such that you could attend? A local gym with mother/ toddler type classes?

Some people are just in their own worlds.

I once heard a neighbour (who knew my husband through an activity) had been Very Upset because I Blanked Her In The Street!! Honestly I couldn't remember the occasion. My DH obviously said oh Lightwell wouldn't do that sort of thing - I am a super low drama kind of person so it doesn't sound like me, even if I'd had some beef I'd have still looked at her and said hi and nodded.

The thing is, often I don't look at people if I am out on my own or doing things around the house or in the road. I have been known to not notice friends. I am short sighted and don't wear glasses all the time, plus almost face blind in that I have to concentrate to recognise folks...and I think I am probably on the spectrum or at least with significant autistic traits as part of my makeup. So if I'm not in the mindset of "I am now engaging with humans" I just won't notice any of them.