Neighbour(s) blank us

We had neighbour like that - they were just strange

Wow this is really sad. We have lovely neighbours, street parties once or twice a year (summer party, Christmas carols) and a street WhatsApp group that 95% of the neighbours are part of. Lots of friendly ‘does anyone want this chest of drawers/kids books/ anyone have a wheelbarrow I can borrow for a morning’ type thing. Really nice. When you live somewhere and are also working from home it’s nice to feel there are friendly people out there who would help you out at a pinch. We live in Bristol, not that it makes a difference.

This is true. I don't speak to my neighbours on one side due to noise pollution issues from them. They seemed nice enough when they moved in over four years ago but they soon started to make lots of noise til 2.30am at weekends.

I grew up in Lincolnshire too. Maybe that’s why I expect the friendly thing but no nosiness. Just a quick hi or hands up wave. Two seconds. It’s ok though.

We moved from friendly Lincolnshire to unfriendly Dorset. I found it strange. We moved to Somerset and people are really nice generally. Not nosey just speak and pass the time of day.

I’m guessing it’s the dog. Our neighbour’s dogs bark every time someone approaches their or our door, multiple times a day, and it drives me insane. I can’t even open my own front door without them yapping.The neighbours do nothing.

Neighbour's husband probably fancies you....so she hates you

I think it’s the south of England unfortunately, people are quite insular and not always very good socially. She clearly doesn’t like talking to people. My neighbour is the same, seems highly anxious and odd. Husband is friendly enough, I just don’t talk to her, she also avoids eye contact. I see it as a ‘her’ thing. Maybe you need to get out more? Have something and people to look forward to seeing in the evening, a hobby, gym perhaps?

Tbh I probably come across a bit like your neighbour. Although, i do say hi if my neighbour is out or she says hi to me, but I definitely don’t engage conversation.

two reasons- I hate small talk it makes me really anxious

if I’m out the front of the house I’m probably in the middle of doing something (ie loading the kids to get them to school on time) and I don’t want to get into a conversation and end up running late.

sometimes, people just don’t want to make small talk, but it’s properly more her problem than anything you’ve done

There's some weird people around OP. Leave her to it. Dont even both enquiring why.

Your not missing out on anything.

@lonelyneighbourhood I would say hello to you if I was your neighbour!

We’ve lived here for around 15 years and the neighbours (not just next door but houses next door but one) are a real mix of:

Will say hello to us by name and have a quick chat about the weather, a little moan about something inconsequential and we have a joke then have a good day type of thing

Absolute blanking

Friendly but keep their heads down unless almost forced to say hello by close proximity

So a bit of everything really! Cliche but it’s not you it’s them, actually it’s all of us, we are all different and I totally understand where you are coming from, I still find it very difficult to understand why anyone cannot just say hi. Having said that, I’m so shy and possibly ND and have spent my life trying to appear “not shy” and so I should have more empathy. I do take it personally when neighbours blank me. I find it uncomfortable.

We have the same issue, neighbour moved in early 2020 initially on her own, some time later her partner moved in with her. He is absolutely lovely and always speaks to us, but she continually blanks us and constantly has a face like thunder!

No idea what her issue is! I just respond in kind and ignore her right back.

Our next door neighbours fell out with us for no reason (and most of the rest of the neighbours since). I blank them totally now. The woman is vile, abusive, manipulative, deceitful and believes she is better than all the other woman around here. I actually think the husband would have been okay if he was married to someone nice, decent and normal but he isnt.

However my life is a lot easier ignoring them. Thankfully most of the other neighbours are absolutely lovely. I wouldn't worry about it. Get involved with toddler groups etc and you will kept busy.

You are making up stories that you are in trouble etc etc. I'd suggest getting to the root of why you think its you, do you attribute other people's bad moods to you? You aren't that powerful!

My neighbour was friendly with us and then started ignoring us. The neighbour on the other side used to ignore us and then started being friendly. It doesn't mean anything.

Some people are just like that. I'm friendly with one of my 3 neighbours in my block,on hello terms with another,but the other ones barely acknowledge me when they see me. I know it's not just me as the neighbour I'm friendly with said they are the same with her.

Have you asked them if you’ve fine something to upset them? If you go this route you’ll have to be prepared for the answer (whatever that may be).
some neighbours just don’t want to mix. Try not to let it worry you 🙂

You’re way, way overthinking.

laughs in Londoner

Is it? I've only ever lived in one place where it was normal to chat with the neighbours.

I don’t think OP is the problem here. At all.

OP, the neighbour sounds like she has communication and interaction issues, probably coupled with an inability to see the importance of good relations with those around her. Nothing you’ve done will have made her like this.

MIL randomly falls out with friends and neighbours, and it’s genuinely fuck all to do with them, she just invents scenarios and takes umbrage at scotch mist. There are loads of people like this, and it’s how their brains work rather than what other people have done.

Because she is odd

“different to what is usual or expected; strange.”

it’s the norm to exchange polite gestures with neighbours.

OP I understand exactly how you feel. I work from home so am at home most of the time. On my part of the street there are houses either side and two opposite. One opposite will wave, say hello when they walk past, but in 10 years they have said no more than this. House to the other side will take in a parcel, chat, ask about the children, talk about theirs (theirs are older than hours, university age now) if you run into them, we will wave and say hello if we are in the driveway.

The other house opposite hasn't spoken a word to us ever, yet I have overheard the woman in the street saying that we were only renting to another neighbour in a disparaging tone (nothing wrong with renting, we were renters for 10 years, her words not mine) and talking about my husband's profession and how she wouldn't trust him, but "she is far worse". Bear in mind I have had no interaction with this woman ever. This was to a new neighbour on the otherside who waved when they moved in, but now blanks me completely. That annoyed me for a while, but it is what it is.

I would try not to let it bother you. I know I am happy with wave people opposite or occassional chat next door. I agree with other posters being too friendly with your neighbours can lead to fall outs and people might try to avoid that. I know some people also don't want a half hour chat every time they take the bins out. I once lived next to a woman like that and while she was lovely I would have to avoid her if I had things to do.

Do you leave the dog?

even if just going to work and weekends here and there may indicate people having to put up with a dog barking / howling at every.little.thing. I can speak from experience the constant barking causes domestics in neighbouring households. If you are not there you won’t know. Our neighbours have a dog, it barks at things air.

even if adult children stay home they go upstairs / in garden / go out and ignore it barking for hours on end.

it can literally ruin people’s homes. Just a thought.

I think it's pretty normal unfortunately. In my road there are some people where you say "good morning" on passing and they look straight through you. Most will say hello or nod, but that's where the social interaction ends.

I'm not too bothered about it though, never see much of the neighbours and most of them are in a different stage of life, retired, and a good 25-30 years and more older than me.