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Original poster

To move house after my sons finished his GCSE

36 replies

CF4 · 12/01/2026 07:53

I’m not sure if I’m posting in the right bit..
we are looking at moving 45 minutes away.

My 16 year old has kicked off and said he would rather live in a tent in the field instead of leaving his friends. My other children 13,12 & 10 are all happy to move.

We currently live in a rural area, which is no good for me and my disability. I need to move back to a town where everywhere is closer than a 20 minute drive. My son is 17 in October and can learn to drive then. Is there anything I can do to make this transition of moving easier. All the children are ASD. So I get change is hard.

I'm happy to pay for the train back for him to see his friends but its out the question I stay in this village. What would you do?

OP posts:
Welshmonster · 12/01/2026 10:11

Cadenza12 · 12/01/2026 07:58

He didn't choose to live rurally. I suggest you make do until he's 18 and then rethink.

They would need to stay until last child is 18.

frowningnotdrowning · 12/01/2026 09:05

Also this isn't the 1980s where he would ring a landline or write a letter Grin it is 2026 with instant contact, facetime, gaming together online, sharing memes or whatever. Ds is at uni, such a different experience for him than it was for me and Dh when we went to uni.

RawBloomers · 12/01/2026 09:03

Things that will help him keep in touch with his friends (if you can do them):
Moving to somewhere where he'll still be able to go to the same 6th form (or whatever he'll be doing for the next 2 years) as his friends.
Help with paying for driving lessons, practicing until he passes, getting a car and paying for insurance and possibly petrol.
Being somewhere his mates will want to come and visit (even if just staying over when the go on a night out) and enough room he can have them stay over.
Good Internet and mobile contract

But also remember - this is a transition age for a lot of kids. Many move on to bigger colleges, new things, different tastes, etc. His old friends seem hugely important now, but the next two years could be a complete shift for him even if you could stay.

JanuaryJasmine · 12/01/2026 08:54

frowningnotdrowning · 12/01/2026 08:50

@Cadenza12 her second child is 13 so if she waits 2 years till her oldest is 18 that puts them at 15 and mid GCSE and it is very hard to move in year 10/11 due to exam board differences and what order they cover topics in. It would be completely unfair on that child.

I think it is right to move now when he has finished his exams. This is for the benefit of your health. He will make new friends at sixth form/college too. Right now this is all he has ever known which is why it feels overwhelming.

Move this year.

This.

he wii have finished his GCSE's, move this year before the timing becomes more complicated with school for the other 3.

he can sulk all he likes, but do what you need to.

jeaux90 · 12/01/2026 08:54

Move. I have AuDHD DD16 we just moved and you have to do plenty of conditioning with them. Reminding them of the upsides and the positives.

frowningnotdrowning · 12/01/2026 08:50

@Cadenza12 her second child is 13 so if she waits 2 years till her oldest is 18 that puts them at 15 and mid GCSE and it is very hard to move in year 10/11 due to exam board differences and what order they cover topics in. It would be completely unfair on that child.

I think it is right to move now when he has finished his exams. This is for the benefit of your health. He will make new friends at sixth form/college too. Right now this is all he has ever known which is why it feels overwhelming.

Move this year.

SmittenApple · 12/01/2026 08:34

Why is moving in to the local town moving away from his friends? Surely will make his life easier

VivaDixie · 12/01/2026 08:01

Move now whilst the younger kids are young enough, and are happy to. Also you need to do it now before your 13yo starts GCSEs

My DS is a year older than yours and his independence has rocketed over the last 6 months. He will be fine. You have offered to help the transition. It will do him good to be in the city as well as enjoying the countryside

Cadenza12 · 12/01/2026 07:58

He didn't choose to live rurally. I suggest you make do until he's 18 and then rethink.

Catza · 12/01/2026 07:57

Exactly what you are doing. Move, reassure the kiddo that he can still see his friends and book him some driving lessons.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 12/01/2026 07:56

Sounds like you'll have to move, but how on earth did you end up living in an area that was no good for you in the first place? How long have you lived there?