Would you tell them you know?

LLJETO · 12/01/2026 20:22

I think I’d have to raise it with HR…in my old company (I don’t work anymore) this would have been a misconduct issue..in fact, I’m sure some people were sacked for similar. Let them shit themselves for a bit.

Fingalscave · 12/01/2026 20:02

Travelfairy · 11/01/2026 23:53

Unfortunately I will see one of them from time to time at kids activities, would you just blank her or say hi but leave it at that?

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When you see them, evil stare then turn away and don't even look at them again. That way, they know you know, but you rise above them.

tryingtobesogood · 12/01/2026 19:57

I think a rye chuckle would be good next time you see her. Kind of, you outed yourself and now everyone knows who you are, ha ha

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 12/01/2026 19:51

Silence is powerful.

Original poster

Travelfairy · 12/01/2026 19:45

Willowskyblue · 12/01/2026 18:31

Next time you see her, stare directly at her and calmly ask why she felt it necessary to be so rude about you on a public forum. Don’t say anything else and just let her talk her way out of it - she’ll be coughing and spluttering her response.

Oh I know she'd be spluttering. I didnt put in original post, she lives on the same street as me but a good bit further down, ie not a direct neighbour but will see her around at shops/salon etc I think i will just nod and walk on.

To answer another poster no I'm not on mat leave, parental so similar

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Lndnmummy · 12/01/2026 19:38

There are examples in case law where social whatsapp
messages has been used to evidence bullying and victimisation. So if part of a wider picture I'd make a mental note of day and time in case you need to bring a claim (you are on matleave?)

Willowskyblue · 12/01/2026 18:31

Next time you see her, stare directly at her and calmly ask why she felt it necessary to be so rude about you on a public forum. Don’t say anything else and just let her talk her way out of it - she’ll be coughing and spluttering her response.

TheHillIsMine · 12/01/2026 18:25

It's never too late to pull someone up on unacceptable behaviour.

I would say I saw what you put about me on the group chat. Don't speak to me again. Cut them dead. Don't tolerate any she's over reacting crap.

Original poster

Travelfairy · 12/01/2026 18:14

Thanks for all the replies. I have kept quiet about it til now so I think I'll continue as I have been. Rise above the BS!

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Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/01/2026 08:41

I would keep quiet about it. Just be your normal self. There's nothing you (or they) can say or do about it, EVERYONE knows, and everyone knows you know, so they are going to look bad. By keeping your dignity and carrying on as normal, you are the one who looks professional, and by not calling them out you are the bigger person. That is the sort of thing that sticks in people's minds, not the nasty insults.

NiceCupOfChai · 12/01/2026 08:35

If the group’s been silent since I’d be tempted to message into it explaining you’ve been waiting for an apology for the bitchy comment she made. Alternatively I’d ask her face to face to watch her squirm.

SandyY2K · 12/01/2026 08:28

I'd leave the group chat.

somanychristmaslights · 12/01/2026 08:22

Travelfairy · 12/01/2026 08:13

More for social activities. Was originally set up by a Manager who recently left our company. Yes I agree it is bullying but because not official work chat I dont think HR will get involved.

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In my work, group WhatsApp’s with work people are still classed as work situations. So if someone said something in a group, our HR would get involved. Do you actually want to socialise with these people anyway? I’d just leave the group if it’s bringing no benefit to you.

stressedandsmiling · 12/01/2026 08:21

FlunckedNYresolution · 12/01/2026 01:28

Why are you annoyed with both of them?

Surely, the ‘beef’ should only be with just the one sending the nasty comment, as no one replied to it.

I would bring up the message and watch her squirm.

People don’t sent bitchy comments to people about people they like.

OriginalUsername2 · 12/01/2026 08:14

Play dumb until that perfect moment down the line where you can enact a subtle revenge and surprise them with the knowledge that you knew all along (insert evil laugh)

Original poster

Travelfairy · 12/01/2026 08:13

Liissey0710 · 12/01/2026 07:39

Is this an offical work whats app or made by a group for social activites. If its run by a manager ceo I would be reporting them to hr its workplace bullying

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More for social activities. Was originally set up by a Manager who recently left our company. Yes I agree it is bullying but because not official work chat I dont think HR will get involved.

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Liissey0710 · 12/01/2026 07:39

Travelfairy · 12/01/2026 07:37

Yes definitely I was named followed by comments about me. I am the only person with my name in our small company...

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Is this an offical work whats app or made by a group for social activites. If its run by a manager ceo I would be reporting them to hr its workplace bullying

Original poster

Travelfairy · 12/01/2026 07:37

Bubbles12345678 · 12/01/2026 00:13

What did it say? Was it definitely about you? If so, I would blank them.

Yes definitely I was named followed by comments about me. I am the only person with my name in our small company...

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Original poster

Travelfairy · 12/01/2026 07:35

FlunckedNYresolution · 12/01/2026 01:28

Why are you annoyed with both of them?

Surely, the ‘beef’ should only be with just the one sending the nasty comment, as no one replied to it.

I would bring up the message and watch her squirm.

Its more with the sender tbh but I know this isn't the first time as has been other smaller stuff in past but not as explicit as this.

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Original poster

Travelfairy · 12/01/2026 07:33

Busybeemumm · 12/01/2026 00:41

Just be polite and dignified. This will leave them in more of a state than confronting them and you keep the upper hand. They sound like the type to spread rumors if you confront them making out that the falling out is your fault.

Omg exactly this!!! They will make the drama about my reaction, not their behaviour

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FlunckedNYresolution · 12/01/2026 01:28

Why are you annoyed with both of them?

Surely, the ‘beef’ should only be with just the one sending the nasty comment, as no one replied to it.

I would bring up the message and watch her squirm.

Daygloboo · 12/01/2026 01:14

Travelfairy · 11/01/2026 23:23

A few weeks ago, on a group chat about a night out a colleague/former colleague (I'm currently on extended leave) put a nasty comment about me to a another colleague. It seems she thought the message was directly to her and not on the group. It was deleted quickly but there long enough for me and everyone else to see.

The group went silent since. I never replied or commented either way.
YABU - tell them what a pair of bitches they are next time you see them/message them
YANBU- let them stew and act as two faced as they do to me!

Walk swiftly past and go " alright' in a very uninterested tone and definitely not smiling while looking straight through her. She'll immediately get the message.

Busybeemumm · 12/01/2026 00:41

Just be polite and dignified. This will leave them in more of a state than confronting them and you keep the upper hand. They sound like the type to spread rumors if you confront them making out that the falling out is your fault.

RudolphRNR · 12/01/2026 00:38

You saw the message.
They know you saw the message.
You know they know you saw it.

You can keep a dignified silence now. By saying nothing you remain in control and they are left awkwardly stewing. Any little comment such as “charming” only reduces your position.

Leave them feeling awkward!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/01/2026 00:34

I’d avoid them. If they approach you socially and are nice, say there’s no need to pretend, you saw their messages.