To be surprised nobody helped me?

I fainted on the pavement once with two scared under fives next to me. Not a single car stopped.

People can be very disappointing can't they.

Because people are often very selfish it would take one decent person to ask you then others would follow

so what if you were drunk or on drugs you were still visably unwell

I have passed out a number of times in public and always had people being kind (once knocked over too by a taxi and the kindness people showed made me cry) but this was when I was young I wonder if I would get the same kindness shown now I am a middle aged women I doubt it

In my youth (urban, UK major city), one's first instinct would be to look for the nearest police officer on the beat, or even local police station. On a high street, there would often be both. On side roads, less so. I still find myself doing it - to no avail of course.

Op I think people probably assumed you were drunk.

A child fell out of their trolly in Waitrose whilst I was at the check-out - instead of hitting the help button, the check-out assistant felt the need to tell me parent's are told not to put their kids into trolley's but they don't listen - I said you might want to focus you attentions on getting someone to help the child who might be seriously injured. I left the check out to help. Thankfully the child was ok - but it seems that people prefer to judge first and then stand back and do nothing.

On my first morning of a weekend in Paris. I went for a run to see the city, after 15mins running I fell and sprained my ankle - no kidding there were about 10 people who stopped to check I was ok - so much for Parisians being rude - I was overwhelmed by how lovely people were to me.

I'm so sorry you were ill, and I hope you have had a speedy recovery. I have known low BP. At work, it's easy - they know me, and I know the signs/symptoms well enough to be able to pre-warn people in good time (plus it helps that I work on a ward!). My DC know what to do too. When I was younger, I remember I was waiting for a bus, and felt like I was going to faint. I quickly explained situ to the lady who was also waiting for the bus, and just asked her to watch my bag. When I came to, she'd gone. Maybe she thought I was drunk or on drugs. I don't know. I've fainted when out and people have just stepped over me, or around me. Again, maybe they think I'm drunk or on drugs (NB I am not!), so are wary of getting involved.

The Kitty Genovese case was awful, and there was a similar situation a few years later, and actually in very close proximity to the Genovese murder. I think a lot of people will think that someone else has reported it, or that someone else will step in to help.

I come from a family of doctors/nurses/emergency service workers etc, so we'd all (assuming no immediate danger to us) stop and help/ask if someone is ok, or call for an ambulance/help and watch from afar. I've taught my DC to do the same.

Bloody hell! Where were the staff? So sorry you experienced that.
OP - if it was dark people in their living rooms wouldn't see you, outside.
Runners don't want to interupt their run.
Other people afraid, put off by vomit, assume drink/drugs.
It's incredibly sad that people will just walk/run past. You've almost got to be grateful you weren't mugged or attacked, whilst vulnerable, these days 😕
Glad you're well now 💐

Last week when it was icy around here, I saw three people come off their bikes, I stopped to ask a late teen lad if he was ok as no one helped him, he looked a bit in shock and said he was alright but thanked me for asking. I then saw a teen girl badly come off her bike and a man who was parked up got out to help as everyone walking past and there were many pedestrians just ignored her. The final older woman fell off her bike and no passing pedestrian actually helped they just looked at her, I was driving off the other side of the road at a junction so couldn't help (was very far away anyway) but in my mirror I did see her walk off with the bike. Even when it is an obvious accident, it seems the bystander effect hits many!

I'm so sorry you had this experience.

It reminds me of when I was a 17 year old college student.
I suffer from a rare type of migraine and this particular attack was the worst of my life. Thankfully never had anything like it since (I'm 50 now).
I was travelling home on the college bus. I was really out of it. My right side was numb, I was being sick in a carrier bag, my head felt like someone was pounding it with a sledgehammer, my vision had a huge blind patch that kept flickering and shimmering, I couldn't speak or remember my friend's name.
My stop was different to my friend (who later told me she was really concerned about me) and I got off the bus on my own. When it came to getting off the step my legs wouldn't work.
I staggered home crying as I was so terrified. I kept dropping my bag as my hand was numb.
Not one person I passed on the way home asked if I was okay (clearly I wasn't) or stopped to help.
It was obvious I was on my way home from the college bus (complete with school bag). It was 5pm and I was 17.

Thankfully I did recover and I never had one on that scale again, but it has always stuck in my mind. I have never been so scared.

I would imagine it was the time of night and people making assumptions about you perhaps being tipsy or something. I once fainted in our 'Local Sainsbury's' and had three people help me when I came around, two men and a woman and they weren't staff. They alerted staff who took me to a back room and called my husband. However, that was in the daytime in a shop.

I hope you’re feeling much better now. I agree that most people would help, but don’t want to intervene, are unsure on the situation and worry about their own safety.
We drove past someone clearly collapsed on a green area near our house - husband got out to ask if he was ok - the guy looked dead tbh, he was really drunk and got really aggressive sadly. We phoned for an ambulance and told them the location but that we couldn’t do anything else for his as he was aggressive and we had our child in the car. Hopefully he got the help he needed!

I am actually surprised by your surprise!

You say it was pitch black and raining- I am sure a lot of people simply didnt see you if you were crouching down. I know I dont stare out of my windows on cold dark rainy days so even if you were right outside my house I wouldn't have spotted you as I would have the blinds closed for privacy. Even if the blinds were open, I probably would have been watching TV and wouldn't have noticed.

Equally, if I had been walking on the other side of the road and spotted a figure crouching down I would have assumed you were adjusting your shoe or picking something up. My first reaction wouldn't be "OMG that person feels like they are going to die! - I must go to help them".

I think you are attributing negative intentions here where none actually existed. If you need help, then ask.

That must have been terrifying. Slightly in their defence, the people in houses are likely to have their curtains shut. Cars will be focusing on the road and wouldn’t necessarily spot a dark shadow behaving oddly. Similar with people on other side of road, most people are only aware of their immediate surroundings particularly at night/in ooor visibility. If anyone walked past you when you were crouched and struggling then yes they should have helped but (and I’m speaking from experience here) it’s possible at the points people were near you, you instinctively tried to act normal and was actually walking fairly normally at those points.
Years ago I began to badly choke (the silent kind) I was in a bar and instinctively I ran to the disabled toilet to (stupid given it meant I was alone and behind a locked door. ) luckily I retched it up (sticky sweets that had formed a throat sized glob in my mouth) I don’t know what compelled me to do that , embarrassment maybe? But I’m guessing it’s the same instinct that stopped you from laying down and ringing an ambulance. The same one animals get, when we fear death we want to be in a safe place.

I had something similar when I was pregnant and on a hospital site during the day. At the time, I was too ill to think to ask for help, I was just trying not to pass out. But afterwards, I wondered about the people who had walked past.

I once got knocked off my bike by a car during the rush hour to work. When I got up off the ground I looked at the people nearby and someone from my football team was standing right there in the bus stop queue.

I looked directly at him, to reassure him that I was okay, but he totally blanked me.

I found that incredibly odd. I thought he would at least have caught my eye.

I think people can be quite shocked when they see someone hurt or unwell. I think it take a lot of courage to stop and help.

I once found a woman lying in the gutter outside our house on new years day. I asked her gently if she was ok or needed any help and she stumbled up, told me to go fuck myself, then vomited all over my shoes.

So, yeah, I am not super keen to approach anyone now. I am the kind of person that if I am vomiting I just want to be left alone. That said, if someone asked me for help, of course I would give it.

But I dont think people are being uncaring not to have noticed you in the dark.

OP that must have been so frightening at the time. Glad you made it but jeez really felt for you reading that.

Wonder if at least in part the apathy due to by stander effect? Add in that people might have thought drink/drugs that might explain it.

Good lesson for us all, that when it’s safe to do so to try and help where we can. Just hope you feeling fully recovered now.

Copy/Paste for info:

Bystander Effect (or bystander apathy), which was first experimentally demonstrated by John Darley and Bibb Latané in 1968. Their research found that an individual is significantly less likely to help a victim when other people are present than when they are alone.

Key Findings on Group Size and Helping
Darley and Latané conducted several famous experiments that quantified this behavior:

• The Seizure Study: Participants were placed in separate rooms and communicated via intercom. When they heard another "student" (an actor) having a seizure:
• Alone: 85% of participants rushed to help.
• With 2 others: Helping dropped to 62%.
• With 4 others: Only 31% offered help.

• The Smoke-Filled Room: Participants were in a room completing a questionnaire when smoke began to fill it:
• Alone: 75% reported the smoke.
• In a group of 3: Only 38% reported it.
• With 2 passive actors: Only 10% took action.

Why This Happens

Psychologists identified three main reasons for this decrease in helping:

1. Diffusion of Responsibility: When others are present, the personal "cost" of not helping is shared. Individuals assume someone else will take charge or has already called for help.
2. Pluralistic Ignorance: People look to others to see how to react. If everyone else remains calm, individuals conclude the situation must not be a real emergency.
3. Evaluation Apprehension: People fear being judged by the group or looking foolish if they intervene in a situation that turns out to not be an emergency.

Exceptions and Later Research
While the bystander effect is a "remarkably robust phenomenon," it is less pronounced in certain contexts:

• Dangerous Emergencies: In obvious life-threatening situations, people are more likely to help regardless of group size because the need is clear.

• Public Settings (Subway Study): A 1969 field study by Piliavin et al. on a New York subway found much higher helping rates (up to 95% for a victim with a cane), suggesting that when bystanders cannot "escape" the scene, they are more likely to intervene.

I had a serious accident where I was around lots of people think exhibition where I was jolted off some machinery backwards and left hanging if I had of cone free I would have gone under some seriously big wheels. People saw and watched did anyone help me .... no. Thankfully family had seen me from a distance and came running over to help.

Also diabetics look drunk when unwell, I always ask if people are ok and need something - even if they’re just crying.

I remember being stuck in an airport as a teenager alone and crying and not a single person asked what was wrong and if they could help - I never want anyone else to have that feeling of isolation I did.

I would have helped. I’ve stayed with a stranger whilst drunk and vomiting before. A stranger’s also done that for me when I was unwell.

I have a friend who has tachycardia - when she presented herself on A and E the staff thought she was drunk and it took her a long time to convince them otherwise. So suspect you have no chance with general public

Yes, usually that time of night I would assume intoxicated and keep my distance unless you actually fell on the street or were being assaulted. If you asked for me for help I would help though.

I haven't read the whole thread, but did you call out for help?

I would have perhaps assumed you were drunk and have been wary. I'm sorry no one helped you.

I have asked someone if they were ok recently. A teenager out in crocs looking very dithery and unsure about direction. He had run out of his house after his dad had been screaming and swearing at him. He was frightened.

If you needed help you should have asked

Unfortunately fellow posters are probably right, passersby will most likely have assumed that you were drunk or on drugs and gave you a wide berth.

i am guilty of this myself, only last week a girl was vomiting into her handbag on the tube platform. I should have asked her if she was okay and if she needed help but instead I avoided her because my instinct was not to get involved in case she was abusive.

equally though I was once very ill with food poisoning and sat in the doctors surgery with a bucket waiting to be seen, and I heard a man sitting opposite say PISSED! in a very loud whisper. It was not pleasant to be judged like that but I was too ill to defend.

I’m sorry no one intervened to help you OP