To want to leave my partner over a chocolate cake

Unless you want to have 2 kids within a few months, then I’d be leaving him. Cause it won’t be long until your posting saying that he does FA for you or the baby, it’s gunna get worse from hear

I can’t believe how selfish he is being! My husband (pregnant or not) considers our (both mine and his) every need.. and really this is how things should be. I previously dated a selfish man but thankfully finally saw sense. You are in charge of your own life and the life of your future child. Choose the type of life you want and deserve.

💯 this.

Cooking is all left to me as it “stresses him out” and occasions where I’ve begged him to cook as I’m exhausted and feel sick I have been met with weaponised incompetence, magically forgetting how to make meals he used to make all the time before I moved in. Even household stuff such as folding clothes after they’ve been washed, he will fold them in such a ridiculous manner that I genuinely wonder how the fuck he’s managed to fold it in that shape and then I have to do it all again myself.

You recognise it for what it is, weaponised incompetence, so now you need to take the next step and tell him is stops immediately or your relationship is done.

You have to do this. Or you will spend your life doing EVERYTHING for you, your home, your DC, while he plays Disney Dad and acts like an additional child. You do not want to waste your life on such an asshole.

If he can hold down a job, he can cook. Clean. Fold clothes.

And not eat his pregnant wife's slice of cake because she wasn't there to defend it. Utter arsehole.

they’re right. He’s pushing it. Maybe testing boundaries as really he wants you to kick him out

I was just gonna say, the description of the chocolate cake made me a bit nauseous
(not a sweets fan).
😁

I want chocolate cake now.

OMG was it a slice of Bertha or Bert?
That’s an unforgivable crime.
Tell him to move out. And don’t touch my fucking pregnancy food. EVER
Totally with you on the craving / feeling sick the next minute.

It's not a chocolate cake, OP, it's just the straw that broke the camel's back. If he isn't going to get better, yeah, start making your plans.

And don’t forget that the makers of the viral cake conveniently came along and posted too, even though they’ve never used Mumsnet before

Please leave him before you have your child. He acts like a child himself. You won’t be able to look after your child AND him

YABU for being in a relationship with this man, let alone having a baby with him! What an absolute turd of a man.

He sounds like a man-child.
Sorry op but imagine life with a little baby and him as the father.
He should be looking after you helping where he can.
Make you feel loved ... he sounds like a shit partner .

Wow. He’s not much of a team mate in this relationship is he. What a keeper! (Not!)
I promise you that things will get worse. He sounds truly awful. please leave him, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Don’t settle and dull your sparkle for a man child.
This is so much more than about a cake. This is red flags time after time about how he does NOT care about you or how you feel etc. he only cares about himself and as long as you baby him, he will of course take full advantage. He knows exactly what he is doing, trust me. Weaponised incompetence and gas lighting - what a catch he is! Certainly not the boy I would want to stand by watching me whilst providing him with free childcare with the kitchen sink chained to my body.
I would honestly hate to be in your position right now OP. I truly feel for you but I can also say that you either choose this life with him, or you don’t. I can guarantee you though that if you do choose him, you will never be truly happy. You deserve so much better. This is an absolute no brainer for me and you will be so much better off without him. In every aspect.

It's a shame. I think she read a few home truths on here and didn't like what she sw. I hope she is OK.

Just plain nasty and he won’t change

I don't think the OP is going to come back dudes.

He is going to up the weaponised incompetence when it comes to the baby because it is a tactic that works well for him. He will probably also take up some hobby which of course he can only do when you are there to look after the baby so you will eventually be working, parenting and running the home single handedly. You might as well set yourself up as a single parent from the start, it will be far less stressful.

Thank goodness he’s shown his true colours before you’re stuck with him. Honestly, I think get rid of him. Awful bloke @AreliabfMite

This. When you go for your post birth shower, he’ll get in the bed and you’ll have to beg for it back because he’ll be “more tired” than you.

I would really not have a child with a man like this. Sooner or later you will leave him but your life will be very stressful before you get there.

plenty of women on here are with men like this but their selfishness wasn’t apparent before children came along. Learn from them. Your partner has gifted you this knowledge. Don’t get trapped.

I’d leave and have a termination.
He will not change and it will get worse from here.
You can’t raise a baby in such a toxic and damaging environment, it impacts brain development and they will be impacted for the rest of their life.

Hes a twat. Sorry OP. I would lose all respect for him for the weaponised incompetence. If ai was early in the pregnancy I would honestly consider not continuing and cut my losses in the relationship.

He's the type of man who will eat your toast after you give birth. Leave now. Only you can decide whether continuing the pregnancy is right for you.

He is being selfish and inconsiderate. But it does make you wonder what he will be like when the baby is here.
But where as several people have said leave him, I think that would be really hard to do at this stage. I also think you need to wait to see what he is like when the baby is here so at least give him a chance.
I think you really need to sit down with him and address your concerns and his lack of help and try say how you feel.
Bear in mind though that you can be slightly irrational about things as you are exhausted and hormonal. I remember years ago my older neighbour got a rescue dog and went out early every day to do her cleaning job for a couple of hours and the dog was crying for her. I was also hysterical and crying a lot as I was shattered and couldn't cope with the noise. (I dont think your points made are irrational im just saying its a thing!)

Wow, he sounds awful! What an ignorant, rude, lazy, selfish manchild.
Lots of red flags there from the sounds of it and he's gaslighting you to boot.
When I was in my first trimester I was so tired I could barely function. My partner took over cooking all meals. Prepped me food for work the next day and he's always good at housework, but he even did extra so I could essentially go to bed when I got home from work. That's what a supportive partner does.
Unfortunately I think he's showing you his true colours. Also, something to be wary of, statistically pregnancy is a time when alot of domestic abuse can start - vile but sadly true.
Look after yourself. Confide in some close friends or family for support.