To want to leave my partner over a chocolate cake

Your gut is telling you it was malicious that’s not something that’s going to go away. It will feel 1000 x worse when you have a new born to care for. Honestly maybe it’s nerves on his part but he’s showing you something here and you need to open your eyes and see it for what it is. Do not accept this, for your sake and your unborn child.

I think this is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

what will he do when you are juggling a crying baby and he won’t prep a meal for you both.

he is literally doing all he can to make you leave. He can then say that you dumped him and he doesn’t know why.

try and have a calm discussion about how you aren’t his mommy or his maid. He may change. Unlikely though.

while Thai is happening, it’s time to make your exit plan.

What do people get out of doing this? I really really don’t see the point, Is it a power kick from seeing all these strangers take time out of their day to try to help them? Are they watching and laughing to themselves and saying “ha you suckers, I fooled you!”?

it’s just a bit pathetic.

Yes, 25 pages and not one response from OP.

Really? Do you think?

Yes I rarely enjoy jumping on the bandwagon, but I really am going to in this case.

He sounds like the kind of person who fuels statements like 'lots of men start affairs when their partners become pregnant'. I always found it hard to believe, but if we struck out everything after 'men' and replaced it with 'are narcissistic, needy dicks', I think it would sum up what we have here.

Another fake post wasting everyone's time who's taken their time to give genuine advice and support.

It's not about the cake. If id not communicated the cake was for me, id not blow things up over it.

But his reluctance to manage basic household tasks when he is working 20+ hours fewer than you is the real crime here. He needs a good talking to or you'll end up doing 99% of the baby and household in nine months time

Is he trying to manipulate you into terminating OP? That is what it sounds like to me. He is clearly unable to put your needs on par with his, let alone in front of his. It screams red flags and I would talk to him directly about that and say you can't remain in a relationship like this. You aren't leaving over cake, you are leaving as your partner is selfish and treats you like a mother not his other half.

At only 7 weeks I would also be seriously considering whether to end the pregnancy too - otherwise you will have to deal with him as a no doubt rubbish Co-parent for the next 18 years at least and in fact forever while supporting your child’s feelings about his failings.

It’s only going to get worse after you have the baby and he “feels neglected”. You already have a baby don’t you? He certainly behaves like one. The cake is a symbol of all his selfishness and lack of care. Personally I would end it now and get some real support lined up for the birth.

Get rid of him hes going to be an absolute arse wipe drag you down and ruin your life and ruin your pregnancy do whats best for you and baby now while you can

This is the best advice ~ please listen

Dont be so ridiculous! This is the most ludicrous response ive ever heard! He is a grown manand can sort himself out! You seriously do women a dis service with this response!

You have a rubbish inconsiderate shit of a partner who I stead of supporting and cherishing you when you are pregnant is making your life hard and miserable. He should have fetched you the bloody cake not ate it all himself after you to get it yourself. He will be a crap parent. He'll never put you or baby first. Stop cooking for him. Tell him to step up or step away and you'll bring baby up alone.

I think you need a bit of a reality check on the pregnancy excuses... you're 7 bloody weeks - not 37 weeks.

Do you want to actually live with the reality of being a single parent OP? The financial hardship, the lonely evenings, the struggle for sleep, struggle to run a house, parent and work etc...

The women on here are of course happy to jump to a chorus of "leave the bastard" but if you actually love him - is it not worth actually having a constructive conversation with him? Sometimes men are a bit of a turd you have to polish and it sounds like you indulged him a bit with the cooking and cleaning.

You're worried about cake when this man doesn't want a baby, doesn't want to be a father and is a shit partner to you? Play hard ball with him now or live to regret it.

He sounds like a 5 year old

Surely you knew he was lazy, disrespectful and gave few fucks about your happiness before you got yourself knocked up by him?

You should have an abortion and leave him. I am absolutely serious. And before anyone squeals "oVeR a CaKe?!!!!!" No, over him being a deliberate, lazy, disrespectful shit.

If you won't, you will be permanently tied to a shitty man child, one way or another. Things will be getting worse from now on.

Sorry you are going through this OP
I think the difficult to obtain and much longed for cake situation has opened your eyes to the fact that its just the tip of the iceberg, and you are now recognising the huge inequality in your domestic arrangements.

I agree with the pp who say that he did this deliberately as an easy way to punish you for ... who knows what resentment he was brewing. Its not the cake, its the utter lack of remorse or care. He's treating you like servant.

He turned it all back on you - a textbook case of gaslighting. A kind and loving partner doesn't talk to you in a "malicious" tone when they've upset you.

• to shut you up he starts blaming YOU for the fact that you are upset
• He calls you "hormonal" as an insult, and its likely he will keep using this phrase to belittle you. It's not real feelings, its just "hormones" so he can dismiss them, Implying that you're upset is totally out of proportion because your hormones
• "you need to get over yourself" - ie shut up and don't dare make a fuss like this again. If you do you can expect a similar tirade.
• It's ALL YOUR FAULT ANYWAY - you deprived him of food by not being on hand to cook for him and you didn't make his breakfast in the morning so he had no other option but to eat your entire cake.

Think back over his past behaviour too and decide if this is a brand new thing or if there has always been an undercurrent of this. For eg... his excuse for never cooking.
He isn't a good partner, and this does not bode well for his chances of becoming a good father.

Bringing up kids together requires having a reliable, considerate person who works with you as part of a team where you share the tasks and each pick each other up when one's ill or struggling or exhausted. From your description of him. He is not demonstrating any of those qualities. He comes across as a man who only cares about his own comfort and wishes. You can't carry a partner and a baby.

What a prince you landed there not.

Wont help his pregnant partner and then eats all her cake without discussing it.

How bloody greedy.

YANBU.

Sometimes when in a cohabiting couple it helps to view it through the lens of sharers. How would you feel if a flatmate:

• Ate a huge cake of yours, that they know you’ve craved for a while, in its entirety without asking if it’s OK or profusely apologising afterwards?

• When you discover what they did and are naturally upset, double-down say it’s because they were hungry because you hadn’t made their dinner or breakfast?

• Then suggested you’re only upset because you’re hormonal?

But he’s not any old flatmate, he’s the man whose child you’re carrying. And you didn’t eat the cake straight away as you felt unwell due to the pregnancy. If he wasn’t sure about having a child, why didn’t he use contraception?

He doesn’t appear to have any respect or love for you. I wouldn’t make him another meal. Adults should be able and willing to cook for themselves, as you say he did before you lived together. Just make your own.

IMHO you shouldn’t rely on him to coparent or to be an equitable partner.

How he folds his laundry is up to him.

Ah I get it. Scam post attracting joke replies. Nice one 😂

RUN.

I’m sorry OP but you need to leave now, this is only going to get worse. That isn’t the behaviour of someone who loves and respects you. Same patterns as my ex husband. Very selfish and trust me it will be you doing all childcare and everything.