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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to leave my partner over a chocolate cake

665 replies

AreliabfMite · 11/01/2026 17:12

Been with my partner 3 years. The relationship has been fine and we have been genuinely in love. Lived together 2 years.

I’m unexpectedly pregnant, 7 weeks. Partner was terrified at first but has come round to it and says he is looking forward to parenthood but there have been repeated instances of unpleasant and lazy behaviour from him.

I work Monday to Friday 9-6. It’s been shit as I’m exhausted with this pregnancy but life doesn’t stop when you’re pregnant so I’m pushing through it even though it is shit. His work is having a quiet spell at the moment which means he’s only working around 20 hours a week but getting full pay (he’s on a 45 hour contract.) Cooking is all left to me as it “stresses him out” and occasions where I’ve begged him to cook as I’m exhausted and feel sick I have been met with weaponised incompetence, magically forgetting how to make meals he used to make all the time before I moved in. Even household stuff such as folding clothes after they’ve been washed, he will fold them in such a ridiculous manner that I genuinely wonder how the fuck he’s managed to fold it in that shape and then I have to do it all again myself.

I have snapped today. On Saturday I visited my parents who live in another city 2 train rides away. In the city where I changed trains I had an hour to kill. There is a viral slice of chocolate cake (I know…) on Instagram that has been my pregnancy craving, and they had a store in this particular city. They do online orders too but I can never get one as they sell out. I decided to go and treat myself to one. Keep in mind this is a HUGE slice of cake and is essentially a full-size cake just in the shape of a slice.

I had a tiny bit of it (literally one spoon worth) at my parents Saturday evening but it made me feel sick so I put it away. Partner picked me up in the evening and I went straight to bed as I was knackered, cake was left in the fridge.

I was in bed until 1pm today due the pregnancy fatigue, woke up craving the cake. I go down to find he’s eaten the entire thing.

I snapped a bit and stated he knew I’d been craving it. I explained I didn’t mind him having some as it’s huge but to eat all of it was horrible of him. He’s telling me I’m hormonal and need to get over myself but it feels malicious. His excuse was that he was hungry because I didn’t cook last night and didn’t make breakfast this morning. I’m so fucking annoyed at him

OP posts:
caffelattetogo · 11/01/2026 17:19

This will only get worse.

Purplecatshopaholic · 11/01/2026 17:18

He is showing you who he really is. And it’s not good op. Give serious consideration to leaving because this won’t get better, you’ll be left doing everything to do with the baby, mark my words, sorry.

ZippyPeer · 11/01/2026 17:18

Another one warning you it will get worse once the baby is here. Really important to consider your options now (could you solo parent if needed, but remember through the child he will always be part of your life. If not, would you consider termination)

2old4thispoo · 11/01/2026 17:17

Don't ignore this...
This is the good bit, it all gets much harder/worse.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/01/2026 17:17

My ex did shit like this. As soon as I became busy/unwell/overwhelmed he’d become extra helpless.

Leave. He won’t get any better.

FuzzyWolf · 11/01/2026 17:16

YABU to leave him about chocolate cake but YANBU to leave him for generally selfish, entitled and generally twattish behaviour.

If you continue the pregnancy and end things with him, be aware that you have a future of shared parenting ahead of you.

TwistedWonder · 11/01/2026 17:16

He’s an immature selfish prick and it won’t get any better once your baby is born. He’ll make every excuse under the sun as to why changing bellies is too hard and he’s too tired to do night feeds

Makingadecision · 11/01/2026 17:16

He’s not going to make a good partner to parent with. I’d be planning to
move on

Tontostitis · 11/01/2026 17:15

Do not have a baby with this awful man child. Go solo if you want this baby it will be easier in the long run. He's workshy, selfish and lazy.

superoverit · 11/01/2026 17:15

It sounds like the cake has made you realise that actually he has not been caring for or prioritising you. Someone who has to ‘come around’ to the idea of kids might not be ready for the reality or how much he is going to need to step up. You need to address this soon as I fear this is only going to get worse….

Auroraloves · 11/01/2026 17:15

Leave. It gets worse from here. Sorry if this seems blunt and harsh but the weaponised incompetence will get worse. Lazy selfish fucker he is.

PhantomAfternoonTea · 11/01/2026 17:14

Leave him. Honestly. Or your life will be 100 times worse once the baby arrives.

PloopDeck · 11/01/2026 17:14

It’s not about the cake. It’s the whole thing. I’m sorry you’re not being supported - you should be x

angelikacpickles · 11/01/2026 17:14

He is awful and if he is like this when you are pregnant, he will only get worse.

BandedSnail · 11/01/2026 17:13

That's really selfish of him. I'd be upset about the lack of care and consideration.