To want to leave my partner over a chocolate cake

Has this behaviour accelerated since the pregnancy? Or are you only just noticing it as you’re feeling tired and hormonal?

It just strikes me that if it’s the former he’s not entirely happy about it and is acting out - punishing you almost.

It’’s really quite sinister - he should be looking after you and trying to make things easier, not stressing you out and giving you extra work. He’s extremely nasty.

My partner is like this 2kids and another one on the way and not much has changed if anything it’s got worse. The lack of help and Immaturity isn’t something that he’ll probably change. Him not cooking or doing things properly is weaponised incompetence he knows how to do the stuff he’s just choosing not to. If my partner ate something I was craving I’d be raging too. I think leaving him over a slice of cake is a bit extreme but I also think a conversation needs to be had and expectations set and managed. Failing that if he doesn’t listen etc. maybe couples therapy would be an option the first year after having a baby is very stressful and intense with the hormones so he needs to understand how best to support you etc.

It’s not the cake. It’s that he expects you to cook every fucking meal, like he has no arms…
No No No

Bin him off, not because of a cake (which he totally ate for spite because mummy didn't make his dindins and brekkie wekkie) but because he is punishing you for the pregnancy.

He sees the pregnancy and a baby as taking away your mummying role, looking after him and running around after him.

That's what he was 'frightened' about..the pathetic loser.

It's not going to get any better OP. Think on..

You’re 7 weeks pregnant

he will get worse

do you really want someone to have this prick as their dad?

Your first? His? There's a lot to learn.

Might be have thought you brought some back for him and then just got stuck in there and then,

YANBU though

It’s worse. He ate the cake as punishment for her not cooking.

He’s scum.

Trust me OP, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Get ready for an absolute waste of space when the baby arrives.

I'd be grateful his true colours have been shown pre-birth and early in your pregnancy so you can make arrangements to get your own place and get ready for the arrival of your baby.

Even if he was the best husband in the world otherwise, eating the chocolate cake should be punishable by death.

Thank God to whoever made this cake as they've done you a massive favour. Get the fuck out of this relationship. Don't fall for the sunk cost facility. Leave him. Decide if you want to be tied to him forever but whatever you decide, get rid as your boyfriend.

Oh look, the soon to be ex partner is on this thread

The OP has every right to whinge.

You know the answer to this OP. NewYear, new start. It’s a given that you need to leave, everyone is giving you the same advice, he won’t change.
Your main decision is are you ready to be a single parent. Personally I’d terminate and move on fast. Your relationship has run its course and you need to look to a future without him. Whether that includes a baby is up to you. Good luck 💐

The thing that jumped out for me is not that he ate your cake, although that is shitty, but that he was annoyed you didn't cook dinner or make breakfast.

Very few working couples have time to eat breakfast together, me and DH make a cup of tea for one another but otherwise we grab cereal or toast for ourselves and get going. He can't toast bread? Or pour milk on cereal? Does he think everyone else lives in a 1980s PG Tips advert?

Similarly, whist I do know some men who really can't cook they can make beans on toast. Or boil some pasta. Or if really stuck, ring the takeaway.

Leave him. He doesn't like you, let alone love you, and he wants a skivvy not an equal.

Without meaning to be horrible, I'd seriously consider a termination as well. But only you can make that choice.

I had terrible morning sickness and tiredness when pregnant with dd. Ended up with the flu and was so weak and unable to eat. Ex-dh was no help as he was at work and thought au had it easy as I was off sick and at home. Finally mustered the strength to get up and make some soup for myself and I remember i’d only had a few spoons before he came back from work. I went to the bathroom and he ate my whole bowl as he was peckish. It’s the only thing I’d managed to keep down for days. It was just the start of many selfish behaviours to come. Sometimes I’d meal prep for dc to save me time when they had afterschool club. He’s take everything to work without asking so I’d come home from club, expecting there to be food, and it’d be gone. He was also purposely incompetent so I wouldn’t ask him to do it again. He still tells everyone who’ll listen that I left him because of soup. No mate, I left you because you’re a selfish lazy idiot.

So basically he was punishing you for daring to not cook his dinner (are you seriously making his breakfasts too??)
You deserve much better. Leave now before you are trapped with a small baby.

what a prick!! is he really saying he can’t make toast or pour some cereal in a bowl with milk for his breakfast?? Wtaf…. why are you with him?

I'm with the other posters. He sounds a selfish prick and it's only going to get worse with a child i.e. you'll have even more to do/sort without any help from him.

Leave him this is only the begining think what it will be like when the baby is born he's not going to do a thing

It’s not the cake it’s the whole way he has been. He sounds utterly useless and this will become more apparent once baby is here and you are juggling even more on your own. He needs to buck up his ideas so you need to have a serious chat with him and if he doesn’t improve I’d be getting ready to go my own way.

@Hesma

eh?? How have you concluded that??

I don't think he's as on board as you think he is.

He needs a reality check about what being a parent involves.

I mean the cake in itself is divorceable behaviour (half joking) but forgivable but saying it was because you didn't make dinner or breakfast. What the actual fuck.

Men often start showing their true colours when their partner gets pregnant.

You still have a choice about what you want to do if only 7 weeks - my dh would never do any of the stuff you’ve mentioned and it does absolutely sound deliberate.

He's turned into a dick on purpose it sounds like. It doesn't sound as if he wants the life with a kid in it. Hell either try and make you dump him or he'll leave.

I'd probably think about what being a single mother will look like.

Either way, I doubt he'll step up.

From now on, tell him you'll be doing fuck all for him from now on. Including cooking.

Do you have to keep this baby? It goes without saying that you should leave him, but in your shoes I would consider a termination as well.