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Original poster

To want to leave my partner over a chocolate cake

665 replies

AreliabfMite · 11/01/2026 17:12

Been with my partner 3 years. The relationship has been fine and we have been genuinely in love. Lived together 2 years.

I’m unexpectedly pregnant, 7 weeks. Partner was terrified at first but has come round to it and says he is looking forward to parenthood but there have been repeated instances of unpleasant and lazy behaviour from him.

I work Monday to Friday 9-6. It’s been shit as I’m exhausted with this pregnancy but life doesn’t stop when you’re pregnant so I’m pushing through it even though it is shit. His work is having a quiet spell at the moment which means he’s only working around 20 hours a week but getting full pay (he’s on a 45 hour contract.) Cooking is all left to me as it “stresses him out” and occasions where I’ve begged him to cook as I’m exhausted and feel sick I have been met with weaponised incompetence, magically forgetting how to make meals he used to make all the time before I moved in. Even household stuff such as folding clothes after they’ve been washed, he will fold them in such a ridiculous manner that I genuinely wonder how the fuck he’s managed to fold it in that shape and then I have to do it all again myself.

I have snapped today. On Saturday I visited my parents who live in another city 2 train rides away. In the city where I changed trains I had an hour to kill. There is a viral slice of chocolate cake (I know…) on Instagram that has been my pregnancy craving, and they had a store in this particular city. They do online orders too but I can never get one as they sell out. I decided to go and treat myself to one. Keep in mind this is a HUGE slice of cake and is essentially a full-size cake just in the shape of a slice.

I had a tiny bit of it (literally one spoon worth) at my parents Saturday evening but it made me feel sick so I put it away. Partner picked me up in the evening and I went straight to bed as I was knackered, cake was left in the fridge.

I was in bed until 1pm today due the pregnancy fatigue, woke up craving the cake. I go down to find he’s eaten the entire thing.

I snapped a bit and stated he knew I’d been craving it. I explained I didn’t mind him having some as it’s huge but to eat all of it was horrible of him. He’s telling me I’m hormonal and need to get over myself but it feels malicious. His excuse was that he was hungry because I didn’t cook last night and didn’t make breakfast this morning. I’m so fucking annoyed at him

OP posts:
Wishingthingsweredifferent38 · 11/01/2026 19:44

I know this isn’t the point……but is it GetBaked?
With regards to the man….,he sounds awful! Do not rely on him to help you raise a child

Anywherebuthere · 11/01/2026 19:42

Do you really want a future with him? What's appealing about him? He is lazy and selfish. He expects you to cook and clean after him. Is that the life you want?

What does he have to offer? Is it worth what is expected of you in return?

TheatreTheatre · 11/01/2026 19:40

OP: when I was pregnant with my first my DP could not do enough for me. He treated me as if I was the most precious being. Understood first trimester tiredness, researched and cooked recipes which offered optimum nutrition for pregnancy, took over any household chores without comment when I fell asleep on the sofa. Etc etc.

I dare say many, many other Dads to Be behave similarly.

Your relationship is also still relatively new. You should be able to rely on him 100% , know that you are a team, have each other’s backs. Does he fit this picture?

I am sorry to say that for me personally, I would not want an unplanned pregnancy to tie me to a man like this and the life that will ensue.

Cherrytree86 · 11/01/2026 19:40

Jukeboxjulie69 · 11/01/2026 19:36

putting the cake thing aside ( roster) if you’re too tired to cook then don’t… simple really

Show quote history

@Jukeboxjulie69

but what will her boyfriend do then?? All he’s had to eat all day is a bit of cake, he’ll be withering away

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/01/2026 19:39

Doesn’t look like OP’s coming back. I really hope it’s a wind-up.

echt · 11/01/2026 19:37

Jukeboxjulie69 · 11/01/2026 19:36

putting the cake thing aside ( roster) if you’re too tired to cook then don’t… simple really

Show quote history

Try reading the OP first post.

Jukeboxjulie69 · 11/01/2026 19:36

BandedSnail · 11/01/2026 17:13

That's really selfish of him. I'd be upset about the lack of care and consideration.

putting the cake thing aside ( roster) if you’re too tired to cook then don’t… simple really

HoskinsChoice · 11/01/2026 19:35

@AreliabfMite Was the viral cake a Bertha by Get Baked? If so, I would absolutely dump him! And you're right, they're fucking huge - they easily feed 4 people.

Givemeausernamepls · 11/01/2026 19:34

It’s not just the cake is it? He’s a horrible, selfish and manipulative person. If he won’t look after you whilst you are pregnant and he’s barely working, he won’t look after you / baby either…

Kisshygge · 11/01/2026 19:34

Good luck entering parenthood with this man. You are in for one hell of a ride.

lifeonmars100 · 11/01/2026 19:33

if he is like this while you are struggling with the early stages of pregnancy and you can at least rest horrible though he is being, just imagine what a drain he is going to be when you are coping with a new born, trying to establish feeding, coping with disrupted sleep and recovering from childbirth. He will doubtless still be expecting you to cook, clean and do alll the 0ther stuff to run the house

chattyness · 11/01/2026 19:32

We know it not about the cake, it 's everything else that's gone on before, this has just bought it to a head for you. Now your lights are on full beam and you are seeing him more clearly than ever before.
He doesn't care about you or the baby, it's him first, him second & him ever after. He ate your special treat that he knew you were looking forward to because he was too fucking lazy to make himself something. Not only that, he didn't even leave you a taste, he scoffed the lot the greedy shit!
Do yourself the favour of your lifetime & either leave him or kick him out. I would not willingly have a child with a self centred, greedy, lazy, bastard like him.

LadyLindaT · 11/01/2026 19:32

As others have said, this will only get worse. It made me shudder with worry for you.

Whyherewego · 11/01/2026 19:31

Lafawnda · 11/01/2026 17:21

Are you sure you want to tie yourself to this man for years? Even if you left youd have a baby and him to deal with?

At 7 weeks I would reconsider the pregnancy for a clean break.

Sorry but I agree with this. You have to feed him or he eats your treats? I'm sorry but wtaf

Spookyspaghetti · 11/01/2026 19:29

angelikacpickles · 11/01/2026 17:14

He is awful and if he is like this when you are pregnant, he will only get worse.

Agree. You will have zero time for this nonsense once you have a real child to look after. Imagine not being able to make breakfast…

JHound · 11/01/2026 19:28

And it’s not simply the cake. The episode is simply one of 100s of examples of your partner showing you how selfish he is.

RabbitsEatPancakes · 11/01/2026 19:26

I wouldn't be choosing to make this lazy POS anyone's father.

He sounds like an incompetent disappointment.

JHound · 11/01/2026 19:26

He thinks you’re now trapped (given the baby) so he is no longer bothering to camouflage his true character.

Sorry that you are now in this situation. Another woman with a dud as the father of her child.

Bruisername · 11/01/2026 19:25

How did he feed and clothe himself before you lived together?

I would tell him that he can do his own chores and cooking as you are too tired to do more than you own

and then I would be planning how to get away because if he can’t even be arsed to put a bit of effort in now it is only going to get worse

And i’d be wondering if he did eat all the cake or if he just got rid to punish you

starryeyed19 · 11/01/2026 19:21

What an absolute ARSEHOLE. Do not have a baby with this man. Get out now. He won’t even cook himself a meal when you’re not feeling well? And he ate the cake because you didn’t make breakfast or dinner?!

Are his hands broken or something?!

Jorge14 · 11/01/2026 19:20

I think the cake is just symbolic of what a selfish and lazy person he is being.

Nezukokamado · 11/01/2026 19:20

"he was hungry because I didn’t cook last night and didn’t make breakfast this morning" wtf

Queenoftartts · 11/01/2026 19:18

He’s a selfish greedy pig he be to replace that cake ASAP.

CharityShopMensGlasses · 11/01/2026 19:18

AreliabfMite · 11/01/2026 17:12

Been with my partner 3 years. The relationship has been fine and we have been genuinely in love. Lived together 2 years.

I’m unexpectedly pregnant, 7 weeks. Partner was terrified at first but has come round to it and says he is looking forward to parenthood but there have been repeated instances of unpleasant and lazy behaviour from him.

I work Monday to Friday 9-6. It’s been shit as I’m exhausted with this pregnancy but life doesn’t stop when you’re pregnant so I’m pushing through it even though it is shit. His work is having a quiet spell at the moment which means he’s only working around 20 hours a week but getting full pay (he’s on a 45 hour contract.) Cooking is all left to me as it “stresses him out” and occasions where I’ve begged him to cook as I’m exhausted and feel sick I have been met with weaponised incompetence, magically forgetting how to make meals he used to make all the time before I moved in. Even household stuff such as folding clothes after they’ve been washed, he will fold them in such a ridiculous manner that I genuinely wonder how the fuck he’s managed to fold it in that shape and then I have to do it all again myself.

I have snapped today. On Saturday I visited my parents who live in another city 2 train rides away. In the city where I changed trains I had an hour to kill. There is a viral slice of chocolate cake (I know…) on Instagram that has been my pregnancy craving, and they had a store in this particular city. They do online orders too but I can never get one as they sell out. I decided to go and treat myself to one. Keep in mind this is a HUGE slice of cake and is essentially a full-size cake just in the shape of a slice.

I had a tiny bit of it (literally one spoon worth) at my parents Saturday evening but it made me feel sick so I put it away. Partner picked me up in the evening and I went straight to bed as I was knackered, cake was left in the fridge.

I was in bed until 1pm today due the pregnancy fatigue, woke up craving the cake. I go down to find he’s eaten the entire thing.

I snapped a bit and stated he knew I’d been craving it. I explained I didn’t mind him having some as it’s huge but to eat all of it was horrible of him. He’s telling me I’m hormonal and need to get over myself but it feels malicious. His excuse was that he was hungry because I didn’t cook last night and didn’t make breakfast this morning. I’m so fucking annoyed at him

I have lived this life. Leave him. It will only get worse.

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 11/01/2026 19:17

PhantomAfternoonTea · 11/01/2026 17:14

Leave him. Honestly. Or your life will be 100 times worse once the baby arrives.

Take heed of this very wise post OP x