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Original poster

To want to leave my partner over a chocolate cake

665 replies

AreliabfMite · 11/01/2026 17:12

Been with my partner 3 years. The relationship has been fine and we have been genuinely in love. Lived together 2 years.

I’m unexpectedly pregnant, 7 weeks. Partner was terrified at first but has come round to it and says he is looking forward to parenthood but there have been repeated instances of unpleasant and lazy behaviour from him.

I work Monday to Friday 9-6. It’s been shit as I’m exhausted with this pregnancy but life doesn’t stop when you’re pregnant so I’m pushing through it even though it is shit. His work is having a quiet spell at the moment which means he’s only working around 20 hours a week but getting full pay (he’s on a 45 hour contract.) Cooking is all left to me as it “stresses him out” and occasions where I’ve begged him to cook as I’m exhausted and feel sick I have been met with weaponised incompetence, magically forgetting how to make meals he used to make all the time before I moved in. Even household stuff such as folding clothes after they’ve been washed, he will fold them in such a ridiculous manner that I genuinely wonder how the fuck he’s managed to fold it in that shape and then I have to do it all again myself.

I have snapped today. On Saturday I visited my parents who live in another city 2 train rides away. In the city where I changed trains I had an hour to kill. There is a viral slice of chocolate cake (I know…) on Instagram that has been my pregnancy craving, and they had a store in this particular city. They do online orders too but I can never get one as they sell out. I decided to go and treat myself to one. Keep in mind this is a HUGE slice of cake and is essentially a full-size cake just in the shape of a slice.

I had a tiny bit of it (literally one spoon worth) at my parents Saturday evening but it made me feel sick so I put it away. Partner picked me up in the evening and I went straight to bed as I was knackered, cake was left in the fridge.

I was in bed until 1pm today due the pregnancy fatigue, woke up craving the cake. I go down to find he’s eaten the entire thing.

I snapped a bit and stated he knew I’d been craving it. I explained I didn’t mind him having some as it’s huge but to eat all of it was horrible of him. He’s telling me I’m hormonal and need to get over myself but it feels malicious. His excuse was that he was hungry because I didn’t cook last night and didn’t make breakfast this morning. I’m so fucking annoyed at him

OP posts:
ChaliceinWonderland · 11/01/2026 21:13

Fiftyandme · 11/01/2026 17:30

I think you’re being MASSIVELY unreasonable painting this in the way a typical selfish man would. This isn’t over a piece of chocolate cake.

He’s selfish, he’s thoughtless, he’s lazy, he sees unpaid shitwork as your job. He chronically under functions.

AND he’s a gaslighting cunt.

Get a termination (because getting him to step up in any way is going to be more bad there that you won’t need) l, leave him and go be happy.

you have one precious life -and I say that as a 50 year old woman who’s had more than her fill of gaslighting, chronically under functioning, emotionally toxic, cunts.

Edited

This!!!!

Mumtobabyhavoc · 11/01/2026 21:12

He is showing you exactly who he is and what the pecking order is. He. Won't. Change.
Get out now.
If you don't leave him now you will be stuck and your self-esteem will slowly erode. Just look at the myriad threads here on the forum about it.
Don't try and accept it.
Don't try and change him.
Don't think or hope he will change as your pregnancy progresses, if you become unwell or when the baby arrives.
Not only will he not change, he will likely get worse because he sees he can walk all over you. This is who he is.

chunkyBoo · 11/01/2026 21:11

Beyond extreme selfishness .. he ate it ALL!!! What’s wrong with a sandwich and a bit of cake?!

Globules · 11/01/2026 21:07

It's your straw that breaks the camels back moment.

Mine was when XH finished my bottle of champagne I'd been saving for months. I'd had a small glass to celebrate a new job. I gave him a glass too. I went to bed knackered after all the job interview prep.

Next evening when he was out, I went to get another glass. Discovered the empty bottle in the recycling.

That's when I knew my 20 year marriage was over.

I don't see this ending well OP. Sorry.

NotThisShitAgain121 · 11/01/2026 21:07

He is a total arsehole. You need to sit down and have a serious talk with him

Bigearringsbigsmile · 11/01/2026 21:07

I would terminate the pregnancy and end the relationship. He sounds absolutely awful. Do not choose this man to be the father to your child.

Sleepingwiththelightson · 11/01/2026 21:06

Like others have said, he is a walking red flag. He’s not mature enough to be a dad, he can’t even step up and make tea or fold clothes while you’re working. He ate your cake that you’ve been craving. He’s minimised your feelings. He’s not stepped up now and he won’t step up when the baby is born. He will be jealous of the attention you will give to the baby. He’s not going to get better. Leave.

Patrickthepug · 11/01/2026 21:05

My very first LTB. Its only going to get worse. You'll have 2 babies to look after

littlemousebigcheese · 11/01/2026 21:02

It’s not the cake, it’s the fact that he is putting his wants and needs above yours. When the baby comes you will be looking after it and him but who will be looking after you? Get rid of him. He’s showing you who he is; selfish, inconsiderate, self centred. To blame your legitimate feelings of anger and frustration on pregnancy hormones is also a dick move

ManyATrueWord · 11/01/2026 21:01

His excuse was that he was hungry because I didn’t cook last night and didn’t make breakfast this morning.

@AreliabfMite What's he going to do when you haven't cooked because you've been looking after sick children and you didn't make breakfast because you had finally got to sleep after two days? Eat all the food in the fridge and leave you AND the children wtihout food?

Damn right it was malicious. Leave, right now. You won't change him.

InterestedDad37 · 11/01/2026 21:00

Fuck sake, he's a complete arse.
Get rid - obviously the baby complicates matters for ever, but he's a sad fck excuse for man, and you shouldn't continue to let him be a part of your life.

whatisheupto · 11/01/2026 20:59

Please come back and tell us you have split up with him OP.

He is showing you who he is. Listen to him and believe it.

And take the advice of the hundreds of women on here who have seen this shit before and learn from us.

GarlicSound · 11/01/2026 20:57

Auroraloves · 11/01/2026 17:15

Leave. It gets worse from here. Sorry if this seems blunt and harsh but the weaponised incompetence will get worse. Lazy selfish fucker he is.

Edited

Yep - you're being trained, OP. Trained to do it all and expect nothing.

Having a baby with Mr King Of Everything would be worse than by yourself: as well as doing it all, you'd be doing it all for him too, no doubt with whining about your being exhausted all the time and not giving him the attention he thinks he deserves.

I'm with everyone else saying get out now! And buy yourself a cake.

Moonlightfrog · 11/01/2026 20:56

I recently dumped someone for calling me hormonal (in a way to excuse his sh#t behaviour). You are pregnant with his child, he knew you were craving the cake yet he ate it all and then accused you of being hormonal when you pulled him up for it? Sorry OP but this is just the beginning of what’s to come.

Minjou · 11/01/2026 20:52

Cherrytree86 · 11/01/2026 17:30

its just food OP, its there to be eaten

No and no

SarahAndQuack · 11/01/2026 20:51

lotsofvowels · 11/01/2026 20:42

Give over. I hate people like this. As a single parent who had awful pregnancies and people spouting this bullshit: it does get better once the baby was born. Some people have no imagination and are unable to see that people have different experiences.

Show quote history

Amen.

Some people feel terrible at 7 weeks. Some don't. The point is that a partner ought to be someone who takes you at your word when you say you feel terrible, and tries to help. Not someone who guilt-trips you for being 'emotional' or not pandering to him.

(And incidentally, at 7 weeks, the OP is hardly locked in to a decision to be a single parent if she decides this man is a waste of space.)

WelshRabBite · 11/01/2026 20:45

This man is not partner nor father material, make of that what you will

lotsofvowels · 11/01/2026 20:42

ERthree · 11/01/2026 20:34

Leave him. You see, to be very tired for 7 weeks pregnant, how are you going to manage as a single parent? There will be no let up once this baby is here because this man is so useless you won't be able to let him have the child for more than a few hours at a time. you think you are tired now, it will be 10x worse when you have a child to put first.

Give over. I hate people like this. As a single parent who had awful pregnancies and people spouting this bullshit: it does get better once the baby was born. Some people have no imagination and are unable to see that people have different experiences.

thecomedyofterrors · 11/01/2026 20:41

YOU DIDN’T COOK LAST NIGHT OR MAKE HIM BREAKFAST! That’s his excuse 🤦🏽‍♀️ Oh dear. He is shameful. I don’t think this is going to end well unless he has a character transplant.

Greenmouldycheese · 11/01/2026 20:40

If he's like this now then I pity you when the baby is here. This is the easy part. Im so sorry you're stuck with this awful selfish man.

Tink3rbell30 · 11/01/2026 20:39

I would not be having a baby with him, it will be absolutely awful.

Newsenmum · 11/01/2026 20:38

HappyHedgehog247 · 11/01/2026 20:32

You should be being cherished. Instead he's already started competing with the baby for your care.

I find it crazy! You make sure a pregnant woman is doing a lot less! Please
stop doing everything. He will be wven worse with the baby.

Newsenmum · 11/01/2026 20:37

This is… not good. He should mortified that a pregnant woman is running around like that! One of the nice things about being pregnant is being treated so well from the man you love because you are EXHAUSTED and you are carrying his child!

ERthree · 11/01/2026 20:34

Leave him. You see, to be very tired for 7 weeks pregnant, how are you going to manage as a single parent? There will be no let up once this baby is here because this man is so useless you won't be able to let him have the child for more than a few hours at a time. you think you are tired now, it will be 10x worse when you have a child to put first.

ERthree · 11/01/2026 20:34

Leave him. You see, to be very tired for 7 weeks pregnant, how are you going to manage as a single parent? There will be no let up once this baby is here because this man is so useless you won't be able to let him have the child for more than a few hours at a time. you think you are tired now, it will be 10x worse when you have a child to put first.