Is this too much to ask?

mondaytosunday · 11/01/2026 17:35

A baby is to vague. If say six months or younger then he can have the baby in a pram next to him (as can you) while you get on with stuff. If mobile then that’s different.
Tell your unsupportive DH that next weekend YOU are doing stuff first. But frankly I just don’t get it - what you want to do benefits everyone and he should either help you do it or make it possible for it to be done. If he can’t then tell him he can pay for a cleaner.

DinoLil · 11/01/2026 17:35

You get rid of your arse of a husband and then employ a cleaner.

AllIdoistidyup · 11/01/2026 17:32

Nobody needs to be washing their car regularly at the moment. It's muddy, wet and raining anyway. He's doing this on purpose so he doesn't have to parent.

Londonmummy66 · 11/01/2026 17:30

Toddler goes with daddy to "help" with his jobs and you put baby in a sling/buggy/travel cot whilst you do yours.

3luckystars · 11/01/2026 17:20

You get Saturday and he gets Sunday. Or half day each.

YOU GO FIRST

Statsquestion1 · 11/01/2026 17:18

why are you deep cleaning EVERY weekend?! Surely that’s not needed!!

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 11/01/2026 17:11

thismummyslife · 11/01/2026 16:51

His jobs include having a tidy of the garage, washing the car, pottering in the garden, my argument is what’s the point in the garage being organised when no one’s got clean undies and the bathrooms minging! We have a baby, so that’s why someone needs to watch them.

Why isn't he doing the washing and cleaning the bathrooms? We men are actually capable of that, I think you've got a defective one

NotThisAgain1987 · 11/01/2026 17:05

I mean you've already set exceptionally low standards for him so I guess it's unreasonable to expect him to suddenly change

PrickIyPear · 11/01/2026 17:02

Children watch CBeebies and baby goes in carrier.

Your husband refusing to help is worse than just solo parenting and cracking on with it.

pinkyredrose · 11/01/2026 17:01

Fucking hell. He won't look after his own kids and you think that cleaning is your job?

Did you sign up for a sexist marriage? It's 2026!

Loobyloolovesandypandy · 11/01/2026 16:58

😂😂😂

Show quote history

You win the internet today

Loobyloolovesandypandy · 11/01/2026 16:58

DarkForces · 11/01/2026 16:05

Get dh (and kids if possible) to muck in so it takes half the time! I do bathrooms, dh is on dusting and hoovering and dd mops the floors. I assume he's doesn't float over the surfaces and also contributes to the mess. There's very few jobs that a penis prevents you from doing and wielding a duster is not among them.

😂😂😂

weloveyatomorrow · 11/01/2026 16:56

thismummyslife · 11/01/2026 14:53

I’m not asking to go on a night out with friends, not asking to go and get my nails done or go shopping, not asking to have a bubble bath or a nap, simply asking for my DH to watch the kids whilst I do a deep clean? And it NEVER happens! How does everyone keep on top of things?

I have an amazing husband but still we can’t keep on top of things. When there’s kids, there’s always so much do! I’m 17 years in and have just got used to chasing my tail.

Try not asking DH to watch the kids. Try telling him. ‘I’m off to clean the bathroom, xyz is with you!’

FitnessFad · 11/01/2026 16:56

Its amazing how low some women's standards are. SURELY you can see that this is not an equal split of responsibilities, why ever agree to this?

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 11/01/2026 16:55

Sounds like you need a rota. If he wants to do his tasks he has until midday and then he parents and you do yous ( or the other way around if he's too 'slow' ( ie procrastinator)

EleventyThree · 11/01/2026 16:54

I think you need to lay out to him that his 'jobs' don't automatically get priority and that you'd like to be able to get on with YOUR 'jobs'. None of his are essential things that need to be done every week!

Original poster

thismummyslife · 11/01/2026 16:51

His jobs include having a tidy of the garage, washing the car, pottering in the garden, my argument is what’s the point in the garage being organised when no one’s got clean undies and the bathrooms minging! We have a baby, so that’s why someone needs to watch them.

OP posts:

Original poster

thismummyslife · 11/01/2026 16:49

I probably haven’t really explained it well, I ask him to look after them every weekend so I can do a deep clean but then he insists on doing his ‘jobs’ beforehand, by the time he’s completed all his ‘tasks’ I’m putting the kids to bed and then by the time I’ve done the nighttime routine of prepping, general tidying, it’s past 9 and I really don’t fancy scrubbing the house, changing beds, washing etc all those household things then whilst he cracks open a beer! Thanks for the advice, I think I’ll be having a serious talk with him!

OP posts:

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 11/01/2026 16:33

He has a choice ... ckean or kids. He's a lazy ass.

DarkForces · 11/01/2026 16:05

Get dh (and kids if possible) to muck in so it takes half the time! I do bathrooms, dh is on dusting and hoovering and dd mops the floors. I assume he's doesn't float over the surfaces and also contributes to the mess. There's very few jobs that a penis prevents you from doing and wielding a duster is not among them.

Hatty65 · 11/01/2026 16:01

Unless you are the Virgin Mary and your partner is God, then none of those things are unreasonable. He provided 50% of the DNA for your children, and unless he actually is the Almighty then he should be doing 50% of the parenting of them.

Statsquestion1 · 11/01/2026 15:57

None of the other requests in your list are extraordinary either though @thismummyslife…he’s an asshole!

EleventyThree · 11/01/2026 15:57

I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask your partner to watch the kids while you did any of those things listed. Mine wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Purplecatshopaholic · 11/01/2026 15:55

Oh come on op, why are you putting up with this?

HoseGoblin · 11/01/2026 15:55

I keep on top of things because my husband isn't a bellend and is happy to do his fair share around the house.