Consultant appointment - we used to date

I couldn't go with it, I would be calling and ask to see someone else they will ask why and you can say we used to date.

i wouldnt waste time ringing, just turn up
he is in the same boat
i am sure he will remain professional

Why wait until sign in? There is then a risk of a wasted trip as they might not have anyone else available that day. Wasting everyone’s time!

I’m 99% sure the doctor who did my internal ultrasound when I had issues in pregnancy with my youngest is now a dad of one of the girls in her year at school - I just hope he sees so many people that he doesn’t remember he’s seen all of me!

I would see if I could see someone else if it didn’t mean a problematic delay. I don’t think it matters if you tell your husband or not - it’s not his embarrassment and he shouldn’t care enough to risk you health if you’re happy to go ahead.

I would phone the secretaries / appointment booking people and tell them your previous name and that you were friends with the doctor concerned in the past (don't need to say he's an ex explicitly) and you want to make sure he's happy to treat you.

Medics aren't generally supposed to treat people they know. It makes sense that you're happy to go along with it for the sake of having treatment sooner but that might fall away anyway if he's not willing to treat you.

If you tell the secretaries soon they should be able to swap you onto another Consultant's list quickly if he'd rather not treat you.

I would ring up and preemptively ask to move to a different one, as pp have said if he recognises you is likely to do this anyway so may as well get the ball rolling on that.

Years ago I was on the edge of a relationship with a junior doctor. We saw each other at an activity each week and were friendly. Took my mum for an outpatient appointment and he was assigned to see her (we thought she was seeing the consultant not him) and he came over very apologetic that he wouldn’t see her but was going to pass the case back to the consultant again. He just didn’t feel comfortable. The relationship never came to anything as he moved hospitals shortly afterwards 🙄
just mentioned my story as he might not want to deal with you- I’d ring the secretary

Wouldn't bother me but i would tell your husband and im sure he knows how important this op is

I wouldn't care to be honest as I'd just want it over and done with.
He's a professional and has done the procedure countless times.
If you don't feel comfortable though I suppose you could request someone else and give your reasons.

I think you should ask for someone else. The fact you have said you've recently had a baby and don't look your best speaks volumes. This wouldn't have even crossed your mind with another consultant but the fact it has suggests that you are already worrying what he will be thinking. You really shouldn't be worrying about the shape of your body at all.

A bit awkward I agree. However, he is a professional and I am sure Will act as such. Yes you could request another consultant, but I would not do this within the NHS. I assume there is nothing to suggest he would not be good at his job?

Same here when I worked in mental health and a former colleague from a past job i had came in on a section. Totally inappropriate for me to be involved in their care. I was transferred to another ward.

He won’t be able to see you I don’t think. I know I certainly would not treat someone professionally who I had dated and slept with even if it was long ago. Not unless it was an emergency/ no alternative. If I was blindsided by it on arrival I would have to ask one of my junior Drs or colleagues to step in. You really ought to tell him and give him a chance to rearrange with someone else. It’s not fair otherwise.

So healthcare workers are able to request to not see a patient if they know them in their personal life (and this is standard practice for them to not treat/operate someone they know personally) so I think you should ring the secretary to give a heads up. He might not want to!

I used to work for the NHS and mixed with some of the consultants socially as my other half was in management. I never dated a doctor but after having an intimate procedure with a consultant I happened to see the consultant at a social event. He spotted me and came straight over to say lovely to see you again and never mentioned anything about my appointment with him.
I think he won’t mention anything about the past relationship you had and will act in a professional way at all times. However he might ask you if you want another doctor and it’s up to you to decide.

He may well not even remember you ? He was a student, it was short lived, straight into the next one.

I really think you need to tell in advance. You could put him in a very awkward position.

My husband is at a different surgery to me. By chance I ended up in the same waiting room as his surgery as midwifery services are in the same building. Out walked a doctor to call someone in - turns out he's both my husband's doctor and a man I used to date. We (me and my husband) had a good laugh about it.

Ask to move it to another colleague. Tell the Secretary you’re desperate for it to be done. I’m a doctor and wouldn’t treat someone I knew unless it was an emergency tbh.

He won't be able to see you if he realises. It would breach his professional boundaries. I would contact his secretary to explain as I expect it'll be changed to another consultant anyway once he realises its you.

Turned up for my smear years ago and it was my friend doing it. She offered to rebook if I felt uncomfortable but it didn't bother me.

If it was someone I had been intimate with I think I'd prefer to have the conversation with them before hand to see what their take on it is.

In addition I found this on Google - It is ethically problematic for a doctor to treat a former partner due to potential conflicts of interest and the difficulty of maintaining objectivity and professional boundaries. While not strictly "illegal" in a criminal sense, it is a serious breach of professional ethics as set out by the General Medical Council (GMC) in the UK, which can lead to disciplinary action.

Not my wording btw! I dont want to be in trouble for Plagiarism! but I would definitely speak to the secretaries

You may turn up and be turned away.

There may be ethical issues in treating someone they had a sexual relationship with in the past. Definitely flag it and see what they say.