Consultant appointment - we used to date

This. ^

Request another consultant due to personal conflict. Even if he doesn't remember you, you remember him and care might be compromised due to this.

It happens more than you think.

I'd ask for a different consultant now and explain the situation. You might be ok, but he has professional ethical obligations and guidelines to follow.

Of course he will know her/remember her/notice it's her! 🙄

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I doubt he'll remember you. Or notice it's you. They're so busy and kind of aloof they don't really look at the patient much. Not directly at their face anyway. Unless it was a medical problem there of course.

Different surname, presumably look quite a bit different. I would just act like he's a stranger.

I can't see him suddenly saying 'oh yeah we used to shag back in 2014'. For starters it wouldn't be professional.

another doctor joining the list saying get in contact and ask to be on a different list. In an emergency you'd probably be stuck with him, but for an elective procedure it should be possible to re-arrange a different list/consultant unless it's a particularly unusual procedure and he's the only one who can do it in the region. As well as being awkward for you, it will likely be for him too and anecdotally, things are more likely to go wrong when you're feeling under more pressure and that creates a whole new level of difficulty. If he is literally the only person who can do the procedure in the region then he probably also deserves to know ahead of the day. I wouldn't leave it to him to work it all out on the day because there's a risk you'll end up going home without the procedure. We do end up looking after colleagues/people we know from time to time, but not people with whom we've had the sort of relationship you have.

@KarmenPQZ · Today 14:41

100% not awkward unless either of you make it so. He’ll presumably be professional given his profession he’s seen it all before.
have a comment ready for when you first see him ‘ah I wondered from you name if it was you, it’s nice to see you again’ and move forward don’t delay your treatment because of it.

@OneFunBrickNewt

This response is the best.
As a man I am perfectly aware that my wife slept with people before me- it'd be odd if she hadn't- so I can't see why you wouldn't mention it to your husband if you have a normal relationship.
Certainly don't jepardise your health faffing around with changing doctors.

No, it's not the best response. It's a ridiculous response. And the OP will not be 'jeopardising her health' by contacting the team secretary to request another consultant.

@Kingcole3 Please do not take any notice of this advice from the above 2 posters. It's nothing to do with someone seeing an ex, despite the second poster here acting all 'cool.' 🙄

It's deeply unprofessional for someone to treat an ex medically/do surgeries and procedures... And no qualified professional medic would do it.

This

It may be a conflict of interest for him, he needs to hold a neutral view on all his patients.

Plus (sorry for this) if you unexpectedly died or had an untoward outcome in surgery it may impact him more as he has a history with you.

Definitely do this. As a medical secretary, I have actually had a patient ring me with exactly the same issue. It wasn't a 'bum exposed' type of appointment though. I got the lady swapped to different Consultant quietly.

Even neighbours or people from my pilates I wouldn't particularly want to treat

I don't want to be a clinician in the gym, and they don't want to be reminded of their medical procedure each time they step out the house. Again obviously I would be professional, the procedure/appointment I would treat them the same as any other patient, and I wouldnt be thinking of their medical history or whatever socially. But It does change the relationship and is best avoided

I wouldn't treat a patient I'd been in a relationship with or had a sexual history, and I wouldnt expect my colleagues too. Unless it was an emergency situation and I was the only one who could feasibly treat them I would either ask another colleague to see that particular patient or rebook the patient

I've had colleagues in this situation who've spoken to me and we've just reorganised the lists so I see the patient. It's not appropriate to treat someone you've had a sexual history with. Yes I would be professional, but its always going to be uncomfortable for the patient. It would be hard to remain impartial, and your on shaky ground if the hospital ever found out.

I would contact the secretary and explain, it maybe it's actually his registrar doing the procedure or most likely they will be able to rebook you with a different clinician

I thought exactly this too.

The fact that your bum will be visible and you don’t look your best is completely irrelevant to any medical procedure that needs to be done.

The fact that this is on your mind suggests that you can’t treat/think of him professionally as your doctor. I think because of this you should ask to be seen by someone else.

@Kingcole3 I think you know what the most appropriate thing to do is and that is request a different consultant.
Why would anyone not?
However it seems like you are looking forward to seeing your ex and baiting for reactions.

I would request another consultant. You can always say it’s your cousins neighbour and you prefer not to be known to them. Or similar. There’s also a chance he may not be able to see you once he realises you were previously a ‘thing’. So you could get to your appointment then have it rescheduled to an even later date, and the whole department know why (not that it’s shameful).

Edited as just read ThisTaupeZebra's post and reconsidered.

Yes, I'm really surprised by all of the 'he is a professional, he won't care'! comments on here.

I'm not an HCP, but I work with a lot of HCPs in a sort of health-adjacent role, and I'm surprised there is any opinion being voiced on here, other than that you need to contact his secretary/the department at the earliest available opportunity to rearrange. I would be worried about turning up, this doctor clocking who I was, and not wanting to see me, which I would understand.

Explain the problem ('I used to be in a relationship with this doctor and think it best for both of us if I can see somebody else, but I am keen to not have to wait much longer, how much will changing my appointment so I can see one of his colleagues, delay this?) asap so new arrangements can be made.

If they were a nice ex, I think you owe them not putting them in this position. If they were an arsehole ex, no way would I want to see them again in a way that made me this vulnerable.

Go and get it done , he is a professional, he probably won't remember and it's best not to delay , I had a hysteroscopy in the summer and I didn't see any of the doctors that were on the website , I did check first 🤣

This. I used to work in the NHS in a smallish community. We had rules about working with people we knew and the rules definitely did not allow staff to give personal or intimate treatments to people they knew. Where treatment was not personal or intimate then the patient had to agree to be seen and the clinician could recuse themselves although we tried not to as we were such a small team. I think its essential in the OP's circumstances to give the clinic advance warning so they can arrange for a different clinician to see her. The situation puts both clinician and patient at risk.

They may be masquerading as doctors, but they are giving the answer that’s in accordance with GMC guidance, so…

It is after this that I would have to regrettably move to Australia.

we dont know if they are telling the truth

Wild that several real life doctors have posted on here with the answer and people are still saying it isn’t a problem…

I think contact the secretary and explain. Its a conflict of interest for him so you should see someone else. Explain you don’t want a delay and see if there is a possible appointment swap.

I don't know, George Michael's old flame didn't even recognise him, and he wasn't surprised, because it had been a whole year since they had a fling last Christmas...