Consultant appointment - we used to date

Can I ask where you live?

I think he will want to do a good job for you! Ten years is a long time

I feel the NHS/UK is culturally quite different to other countries in that sense.

Less of a culture of making formal complaints in many other countries, at least historically, and less rules/H&S.

I hear a lot of hospital/doctor stories from family, including where people have been quite direct with patients etc, and thought 'in the UK you/your colleagues not be practising'. My auntie would have been sacked in the UK many times over, starting with moving in with one of her patients, think they are together 30 years now! Also it's super common over there for friends and family to make an appointment only and specifically with the doctor that is their friend/family. Or well, unsuccessful Tinder date in some cases perhaps 😋

Just very different cultures.

Anyhow, beside OP's point.

Eh why you replying to me if you read op original post she was asking if she should tell her dh which is what was what I was commenting on. so why don’t you go and focus. Or at least read the op.

Eh? It has nothing to do with the DH, it’s OP’s body, it’s her procedure. Wtf does the DH have to do with it?

Why don’t you ask if someone else is available at that time? Maybe they can do a swap?

You seem to have thought very little about solutions.

the NHS have rules and expectations about this though. Its not a choice by either party

Hi op I would decide after the op if you tell your dh it’s not like you are going for a drink behind his back. It’s in your past the consultant might not even recognise you and if he does just laugh and say I wasn’t sure if it was going to be you so never mentioned it.

If she’s married and changed her name he might not realise it’s her.

I think you need to call and discuss it with the department. I’m not in health care but I am a social worker and if anyone was allocated to me that I know or used to have a relationship/friendship with I would refuse the allocation. My managers would also agree that it is not ethical. I think you will prob arrive at your appointment and find he says very much similar and advises it cannot go ahead due to ethical implications.

I'd 100% ask for a different doctor.

I actually had a situation many years ago when I went to my private gynaecologist appointment and only then realised he was closely related to my good male friend from school (also a family of medics, he was his grandad in fact). It was all professional but I honestly couldn't shake the feeling of awkwardness ever since and had I known before I'd have asked for a different dr.

It is awkward. He will recognise you. You need to tell your husband. Would you feel less awkward if you were upfront with your hubby but then he came to the appointment with you?

You should trademark this name today, set up a drop shipping operation and start capitalising on women's nether region-related insecurities. You will absolutely print.

This. The last thing you need is you turning up and then him refusing the treatment.

I think (for him) it’ll be considered a conflict of interest so I would definitely flag it.

The pp mistyped gynaecologist as “gynacolognist”. Cologne is a scent…

I don't get it 😣

Awesome. You win the internet today.

I think the medics have cleared this up -
it’s a ‘no’ to Drs treating relatives and friends.

I have a question though, how does this advice extend across the medical profession? I have seen several programmes where mid wives go into their own units to deliver? Is it the same advice for nurses, radiologists, physios?

I grew up in a place where everyone knew everyone, you are just another patient and it should have no impact on the situation.

Hmmm yes, this sounds like great advice.

I get that it feels weird to you. I’d be in the same state of Eek.

But just tell your husband. It’s one of those things. And if it comes up later it would be worse if he knew that you hid it. That makes you look guilty when you are guilty of nothing.

Unless your husband is an unreasonable man, in which case, what are you doing having babies with him? He would need to grow up.

I know my gynacolognist...

Does he/she make your vulva smell like cedar and citrus, I wonder? 🤔

Why are you offering an opinion on a professional matter when you're not qualified to do so?

"Chances are when he sees your name he will arrange for you to be seen by someone else anyway."

If the OP has changed her name following marriage, the consultant may not recognise that this patient is someone he has known in the past.

Better to contact the secretary asap.

@Kingcole3 I work in this area, and this is not a joke or fodder for a funny anecdote afterwards.

The General Medical Council would advise against a doctor treating anyone they have had a close personal relationship with. Please contact the hospital and make them aware, first thing tomorrow.

It is likely that if it is your former partner doing the procedure (could potentially be an experienced reg running their own list), he will simply refuse to go ahead. Your investigation will then be delayed and a whole slot will be wasted.