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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

99% sure I am being reasonable but can you sanity check please work related

85 replies

District66 · 11/01/2026 13:55

I started work for the local council which is a very new role for me. I had zero experience to bring to the position. Lots of life experience in common sense though which I thought would see me through.
How wrong I was
I will try and keep this brief and to the main points but events that have happened over the last six months

Attack attacked in the street by somebody carrying a knife. Took 40 minutes for the armed police to arrive
This person will be sentenced this week and I think as a result of it is brought many feelings to the forefront of how exposed we were and how little support we’ve had since.

Within the team, there are two big strong men
Two other women Very physically unfit and incapable
Another physically unfit and incapable man
Myself and another young girl who in an emergency situation I think would fair second to the two huge blokes, But we would at least be of some use
If it wasn’t for the great deal of psychological trauma suffered by the young girl.
Every single shift, I am embracing myself for an onslaught of trauma dumping
This person is in their early 20s and I have never in my life known so much to happen to one person to the point where other team members are not sure that it’s actually true.
I choose to believe that it’s true
But combined with the incident that happened with the public, I’m getting to the point where my mental health is falling apart
I can’t afford to leave this job
I was off sick with a Work Related injury, so I’ve run out of Sick pay.
I kind of have to power this through, but I don’t know what more I can do to muster protection from management
Additionally, there is conflict in the team and I recorded some of this on my phone gave it to management and was told that it would not be viewed and that disciplinary action would be taken against me if I recorded it again
I’ve been forced to delete the footage
So effectively I have an email from the senior leadership team telling me that I am to destroy the evidence of a verbal attack against me
If this escalates any further and becomes physical, I feel like I should take this to the actual police
But I’m so stressed and upset my usual fairly good judgement is becoming more and more skewed by the day
Can anybody at least reassure me or give me any thoughts on how they would handle this?
Very much appreciated, thank you

OP posts:
District66 · 11/01/2026 14:34

Hankunamatata · 11/01/2026 14:33

Were you attacked by someone with a knife?

He didn’t make contact thank goodness and he wasn’t a member of staff

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:34

So by now, they would have sent you the council policy and you would've read through it and realised you massively breached it.

Therefore I have to ask, what makes you even a tiny bit sure that YANBU, let alone a whopping 99%? 😳

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:34

Hankunamatata · 11/01/2026 14:31

It's gross misconduct to record or film your colleagues

Interesting because yeah, that is the Council’s take on it but it’s okay for somebody to swear and shout at other members of the team
But collating the evidence of that is problematic
Seems like I’m in the wrong room

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 11/01/2026 14:33

Were you attacked by someone with a knife?

Hankunamatata · 11/01/2026 14:31

It's gross misconduct to record or film your colleagues

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:22

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:16

Sorry, yes, it was a member of staff that did it
I was told it was a misuse of recording equipment despite the fact that I recorded it in an area that has signage all around it stating that CCTV record recording is taking place. I actually think she’s fucked up quite badly and she is a senior manager.
The problem is what to do about it
One of the main reasons why I did record it. I don’t go around recording conversation conversations with Willie nilly.

It’s because it’s constantly one word against the other and then it’s just impossible for them to do anything.

Even viewing actual CCTV images of staff is gross misconduct in the council I work for, and that's pretty standard.

You have absolutely no right to film your colleagues yourself.

Bloody hell, how is this not obvious to you?

You would've been sacked for that alone in so many places.

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:16

Catza · 11/01/2026 14:14

I understand it was in the workplace. Was it by a member of staff? Member of public?

I am not surprised you were asked to delete the recording, to be honest.

Sorry, yes, it was a member of staff that did it
I was told it was a misuse of recording equipment despite the fact that I recorded it in an area that has signage all around it stating that CCTV record recording is taking place. I actually think she’s fucked up quite badly and she is a senior manager.
The problem is what to do about it
One of the main reasons why I did record it. I don’t go around recording conversation conversations with Willie nilly.

It’s because it’s constantly one word against the other and then it’s just impossible for them to do anything.

OP posts:
Catza · 11/01/2026 14:14

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:12

Yes, this was in the workplace.
Shouted at sworn at and door slammed in our face
All recorded and the recordings have been forcibly deleted

I understand it was in the workplace. Was it by a member of staff? Member of public?

I am not surprised you were asked to delete the recording, to be honest.

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:12

Catza · 11/01/2026 14:08

To the colleague who trauma dumps, say that you would like her to stop as it is inappropriate to over share in the workplace. If she doesn't, bring it up in your next meeting with your manager.
Regarding conflict, were you verbally attacked by a member of staff? If so, contact HR for further guidance. You may also wish to speak with ACAS.

Edited

Yes, this was in the workplace.
Shouted at sworn at and door slammed in our face
All recorded and the recordings have been forcibly deleted

OP posts:
Catza · 11/01/2026 14:08

To the colleague who trauma dumps, say that you would like her to stop as it is inappropriate to over share in the workplace. If she doesn't, bring it up in your next meeting with your manager.
Regarding conflict, were you verbally attacked by a member of staff? If so, contact HR for further guidance. You may also wish to speak with ACAS.