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99% sure I am being reasonable but can you sanity check please work related

85 replies

District66 · 11/01/2026 13:55

I started work for the local council which is a very new role for me. I had zero experience to bring to the position. Lots of life experience in common sense though which I thought would see me through.
How wrong I was
I will try and keep this brief and to the main points but events that have happened over the last six months

Attack attacked in the street by somebody carrying a knife. Took 40 minutes for the armed police to arrive
This person will be sentenced this week and I think as a result of it is brought many feelings to the forefront of how exposed we were and how little support we’ve had since.

Within the team, there are two big strong men
Two other women Very physically unfit and incapable
Another physically unfit and incapable man
Myself and another young girl who in an emergency situation I think would fair second to the two huge blokes, But we would at least be of some use
If it wasn’t for the great deal of psychological trauma suffered by the young girl.
Every single shift, I am embracing myself for an onslaught of trauma dumping
This person is in their early 20s and I have never in my life known so much to happen to one person to the point where other team members are not sure that it’s actually true.
I choose to believe that it’s true
But combined with the incident that happened with the public, I’m getting to the point where my mental health is falling apart
I can’t afford to leave this job
I was off sick with a Work Related injury, so I’ve run out of Sick pay.
I kind of have to power this through, but I don’t know what more I can do to muster protection from management
Additionally, there is conflict in the team and I recorded some of this on my phone gave it to management and was told that it would not be viewed and that disciplinary action would be taken against me if I recorded it again
I’ve been forced to delete the footage
So effectively I have an email from the senior leadership team telling me that I am to destroy the evidence of a verbal attack against me
If this escalates any further and becomes physical, I feel like I should take this to the actual police
But I’m so stressed and upset my usual fairly good judgement is becoming more and more skewed by the day
Can anybody at least reassure me or give me any thoughts on how they would handle this?
Very much appreciated, thank you

OP posts:
JLou08 · 11/01/2026 15:10

What job do you do? Are attacks from the public common? What's the risk assessment and procedures in place to manage it?

patooties · 11/01/2026 15:09

Are you in a union? You need to speak to exec member re whistleblowing - assuming you work in social care ? Contact me if you like - I am elected and supported a member of staff with whistleblowing on the unsafe and toxic climate within a dept.

District66 · 11/01/2026 15:06

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/01/2026 15:05

You're security/on front reception, then?

Baffled as to what's criminal about your colleague's behaviour, though. Telling you to fuck off and slamming a door (for example) isn't criminal.

It is actually and if a member of the public did it, they would be spoken to by the police.

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District66 · 11/01/2026 15:06

OriginalSkang · 11/01/2026 15:04

What do you mean by attack attacked? Who was? I think in your efforts to keep this brief you've left out too much. I dont understand the first part at all

I was Attacked by a member of the public yielding a knife, The knife didn’t make physical contact, but the member of the public did.
They are being prosecuted, convicted etc
So no real concerns that other than the fact that I’m not gonna lie I’ve been pretty traumatised by it and it highlighted enormous gaps in our team ability to work as a team, As I was completely unsupported For the 40 minutes it took for the armed response police to arrive.

OP posts:
OriginalSkang · 11/01/2026 15:05

You said the attack happened in the street?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/01/2026 15:05

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:59

I was expected to do that.
Obviously, our role is to keep the public away from the knife yielding maniacs and that would fall to my colleagues every bit as much as it would myself.
So their inability to get to the scene is relevant in terms of the support that’s available to me and my other colleagues that could get to the scene is hindered.

You're security/on front reception, then?

Baffled as to what's criminal about your colleague's behaviour, though. Telling you to fuck off and slamming a door (for example) isn't criminal.

OriginalSkang · 11/01/2026 15:04

What do you mean by attack attacked? Who was? I think in your efforts to keep this brief you've left out too much. I dont understand the first part at all

District66 · 11/01/2026 15:01

InterestedDad37 · 11/01/2026 15:00

Are you in a union? They will help (and if you're not in one, join one ✊)

Edited

I am in a union
I just wasn’t really sure if I was overreacting as I say you kind of lose your perspective when you’re in the thick of it

OP posts:
InterestedDad37 · 11/01/2026 15:00

Are you in a union? They will help (and if you're not in one, join one ✊)

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:59

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:57

Are you seriously suggesting your colleagues should tackle a knife wielding maniac on your behalf???

I was expected to do that.
Obviously, our role is to keep the public away from the knife yielding maniacs and that would fall to my colleagues every bit as much as it would myself.
So their inability to get to the scene is relevant in terms of the support that’s available to me and my other colleagues that could get to the scene is hindered.

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:57

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:51

It’s problematic because if I needed to call on them for support - A knife yielding lunatic, for example, they wouldn’t be able to offer it readily

Are you seriously suggesting your colleagues should tackle a knife wielding maniac on your behalf???

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:53

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:43

She acknowledged in the email that she has forced you to delete the video because you have committed gross misconduct.

Incidentally, have you received a disciplinary?

No, I haven’t

OP posts:
District66 · 11/01/2026 14:52

Hankunamatata · 11/01/2026 14:47

No it's standard working practise and common sense.

Is it though? in 30 years in the workplace I’ve never come across anything like this where I’ve needed to collate evidence against colleagues due to their ridiculous and frankly criminal behaviour but here we are.

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District66 · 11/01/2026 14:51

tokennamechange · 11/01/2026 14:43

sometimes you need to just cut your losses. This job doesn't seem like a great fit for you on multiple levels. It sounds like you wouldn't be happy even if all the colleagues you're struggling with were sacked, and let's be honest, the chances of that happening are incredibly low. So you need to find a new job yourself.

I've got literally no idea why the weight and fitness levels of the other people in your team have any relevance to the rest of your issue at all.

It’s problematic because if I needed to call on them for support - A knife yielding lunatic, for example, they wouldn’t be able to offer it readily

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Owly11 · 11/01/2026 14:51

You seem naive as to how workplaces work. You need to get hold of policies and procedures and follow them to the letter not randomly take matters into your own hands. You are muddling together lots of different issues and they need to be separated out and dealt with individually. Are you in a union? You need advice and support about how to deal with the verbal abuse correctly. The trauma dumping is something to deal with yourself.

dreamingofanotherworld · 11/01/2026 14:51

What is the job, OP?

Hankunamatata · 11/01/2026 14:47

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:34

Interesting because yeah, that is the Council’s take on it but it’s okay for somebody to swear and shout at other members of the team
But collating the evidence of that is problematic
Seems like I’m in the wrong room

No it's standard working practise and common sense.

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:46

tokennamechange · 11/01/2026 14:43

sometimes you need to just cut your losses. This job doesn't seem like a great fit for you on multiple levels. It sounds like you wouldn't be happy even if all the colleagues you're struggling with were sacked, and let's be honest, the chances of that happening are incredibly low. So you need to find a new job yourself.

I've got literally no idea why the weight and fitness levels of the other people in your team have any relevance to the rest of your issue at all.

I'm guessing Parking Enforcement which can get quite hairy with angry members of the public.

tokennamechange · 11/01/2026 14:43

sometimes you need to just cut your losses. This job doesn't seem like a great fit for you on multiple levels. It sounds like you wouldn't be happy even if all the colleagues you're struggling with were sacked, and let's be honest, the chances of that happening are incredibly low. So you need to find a new job yourself.

I've got literally no idea why the weight and fitness levels of the other people in your team have any relevance to the rest of your issue at all.

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:43

She acknowledged in the email that she has forced you to delete the video because you have committed gross misconduct.

Incidentally, have you received a disciplinary?

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:41

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:38

Yes, now you are actually being silly (and sulky) for the sake of it.

You're a grown woman, you know you have the right to work without being shouted and sworn at etc.

However, you don't have the right to deal with it by breaching the council's policy on video recordings.

No, I completely understand that now however the issue will not get solved because it is one person‘s word against another. I’m concerned that it’s going to escalate.
Luckily, as I say she’s acknowledged in the email that she has forced me to delete the video because if it does become physical as other incidents have with the public, This member of staff operates on a similar level
Then I don’t think it’s gonna look great for her

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:38

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:35

I suppose it’s the dignity at work policy that makes me think I’ve got the right to work without being shouted out and sworn out and having door slammed in my face
Silly old me

Yes, now you are actually being silly (and sulky) for the sake of it.

You're a grown woman, you know you have the right to work without being shouted and sworn at etc.

However, you don't have the right to deal with it by breaching the council's policy on video recordings.

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:37

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:36

If you're being shouted and sworn at you need to take that through the proper channels.

You can't just take it upon yourself to video you colleagues.

And join a union if you haven't already.

As I say we go round and round in circles because it’s one person’s word against the other without any literal evidence of it
So it’s a pointless exercise and it just causes further bad feeling in the team that’s already conflicted

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:36

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:34

Interesting because yeah, that is the Council’s take on it but it’s okay for somebody to swear and shout at other members of the team
But collating the evidence of that is problematic
Seems like I’m in the wrong room

If you're being shouted and sworn at you need to take that through the proper channels.

You can't just take it upon yourself to video you colleagues.

And join a union if you haven't already.

District66 · 11/01/2026 14:35

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 14:34

So by now, they would have sent you the council policy and you would've read through it and realised you massively breached it.

Therefore I have to ask, what makes you even a tiny bit sure that YANBU, let alone a whopping 99%? 😳

I suppose it’s the dignity at work policy that makes me think I’ve got the right to work without being shouted out and sworn out and having door slammed in my face
Silly old me

OP posts: