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AIBU?

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99% sure I am being reasonable but can you sanity check please work related

85 replies

District66 · 11/01/2026 13:55

I started work for the local council which is a very new role for me. I had zero experience to bring to the position. Lots of life experience in common sense though which I thought would see me through.
How wrong I was
I will try and keep this brief and to the main points but events that have happened over the last six months

Attack attacked in the street by somebody carrying a knife. Took 40 minutes for the armed police to arrive
This person will be sentenced this week and I think as a result of it is brought many feelings to the forefront of how exposed we were and how little support we’ve had since.

Within the team, there are two big strong men
Two other women Very physically unfit and incapable
Another physically unfit and incapable man
Myself and another young girl who in an emergency situation I think would fair second to the two huge blokes, But we would at least be of some use
If it wasn’t for the great deal of psychological trauma suffered by the young girl.
Every single shift, I am embracing myself for an onslaught of trauma dumping
This person is in their early 20s and I have never in my life known so much to happen to one person to the point where other team members are not sure that it’s actually true.
I choose to believe that it’s true
But combined with the incident that happened with the public, I’m getting to the point where my mental health is falling apart
I can’t afford to leave this job
I was off sick with a Work Related injury, so I’ve run out of Sick pay.
I kind of have to power this through, but I don’t know what more I can do to muster protection from management
Additionally, there is conflict in the team and I recorded some of this on my phone gave it to management and was told that it would not be viewed and that disciplinary action would be taken against me if I recorded it again
I’ve been forced to delete the footage
So effectively I have an email from the senior leadership team telling me that I am to destroy the evidence of a verbal attack against me
If this escalates any further and becomes physical, I feel like I should take this to the actual police
But I’m so stressed and upset my usual fairly good judgement is becoming more and more skewed by the day
Can anybody at least reassure me or give me any thoughts on how they would handle this?
Very much appreciated, thank you

OP posts:
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District66 · 11/01/2026 16:29

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:18

But there's CCTV everywhere according to you

Honestly, if it's really this awful then just leave

No, there’s CCTV in the buildings. Don’t put words in my mouth.
We aren’t in the building all the time

I just wanted validation that it was bad enough to go because I know how much shit I’m gonna get from the job centre if I quit
So thanks, I’ve got the validation

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:18

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:15

Obviously not in front of CCTV
The same person has also sexually harassed another member of the team and again we’ve been through the process one word against the other no proof yada, yada, yada

But there's CCTV everywhere according to you

Honestly, if it's really this awful then just leave

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:15

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:13

Mm sure

This colleague has physically assaulted another colleague, in front of CCTV, and nothing has been done?

Obviously not in front of CCTV
The same person has also sexually harassed another member of the team and again we’ve been through the process one word against the other no proof yada, yada, yada

OP posts:
Throwanon · 11/01/2026 16:14

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:11

That’s fair enough.

You haven’t even been there long enough to benefit from things like cushy pensions or generous leave policies. So like I’m really struggling to see what benefit you have to staying. Even the salary likely isn’t that great if you’re actively dealing with the public. Some type of front line operational role isn’t going to be highly paid, potentially not much more than minimum wage - circa £30k? I bet you just need to brush up your CV to achieve that salary elsewhere.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:14

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:11

That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. I have got different Direct experience that the police do care thank goodness.
Because they’re well aware that things escalate and if they can nip it in the bud early on they will do

Someone shouting at you is hardly a police matter

But if you've had so much experience with the police before, why haven't you gone to them again?

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:13

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:10

Luckily not directed at me but we’ve already had another member of staff slammed into a wall by them

Mm sure

This colleague has physically assaulted another colleague, in front of CCTV, and nothing has been done?

Pancakeflipper · 11/01/2026 16:12

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:08

It’s utterly pointless pancake flipper without evidence as they say we’ve been round and round and round with this.

Not allowed to collect the evidence, But not believed without it

Then I'd get job hunting. You aren't happy and it will have negative impact on your MH, which makes being proactive difficult.

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:11

Throwanon · 11/01/2026 16:09

I think you’re being unreasonable because you mention so many huge things:

  1. being attacked on the job
  2. no support after being attacked
  3. going off sick due to work
  4. awkward colleagues behaving inappropriately trauma dumping
  5. being belittled at work with whatever you recorded

any one of those in isolation is usually a reason for you to leave, why are you collecting the red flags like Pokémon? What are you getting out of this?

Councils and government are one of the shittest environments to work because it can get toxic in some pockets. Why are you not just seeing getting a new job as your full time job? What will enduring more possibly achieve at this point?

That’s fair enough.

OP posts:
District66 · 11/01/2026 16:11

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:09

The police can make you delete videos off your phone if they feel they are inappropriate

And verbally attacked? The police wouldn't give a shit anyway

That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. I have got different Direct experience that the police do care thank goodness.
Because they’re well aware that things escalate and if they can nip it in the bud early on they will do

OP posts:
District66 · 11/01/2026 16:10

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:08

You think your colleague who has only slammed a door and shouted and sworn might STAB you?

Seriously?

Luckily not directed at me but we’ve already had another member of staff slammed into a wall by them

OP posts:
Throwanon · 11/01/2026 16:09

I think you’re being unreasonable because you mention so many huge things:

  1. being attacked on the job
  2. no support after being attacked
  3. going off sick due to work
  4. awkward colleagues behaving inappropriately trauma dumping
  5. being belittled at work with whatever you recorded

any one of those in isolation is usually a reason for you to leave, why are you collecting the red flags like Pokémon? What are you getting out of this?

Councils and government are one of the shittest environments to work because it can get toxic in some pockets. Why are you not just seeing getting a new job as your full time job? What will enduring more possibly achieve at this point?

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:09

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:08

Can you imagine the police putting in writing that we want you to delete evidence that you’ve been verbally attacked?
I don’t think so

The police can make you delete videos off your phone if they feel they are inappropriate

And verbally attacked? The police wouldn't give a shit anyway

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:08

Pancakeflipper · 11/01/2026 16:07

I think this is all.sounding very dramatic OP with this being stabbed to death on Monday.

Ask for a meeting with management/HR with and rationally raise your concerns.
If they refuse to offer any support I think you need to think about leaving the role.

From some of your posts you sound stressed, a doctor might sign you off so you just get a bit of space away from work.

It’s utterly pointless pancake flipper without evidence as they say we’ve been round and round and round with this.

Not allowed to collect the evidence, But not believed without it

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:08

You think your colleague who has only slammed a door and shouted and sworn might STAB you?

Seriously?

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:08

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:05

The police absolutely could make you delete things from your phone

And your workplace are well within their rights to say you must delete it or face disciplinary action

The fact the public can film is irrelevant

Where I work is open to the public. If I visit as a member of the public there is no restriction on what I film and share. If I am at work then there are restrictions, even on the exact same content

Can you imagine the police putting in writing that we want you to delete evidence that you’ve been verbally attacked?
I don’t think so

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 11/01/2026 16:07

I think this is all.sounding very dramatic OP with this being stabbed to death on Monday.

Ask for a meeting with management/HR with and rationally raise your concerns.
If they refuse to offer any support I think you need to think about leaving the role.

From some of your posts you sound stressed, a doctor might sign you off so you just get a bit of space away from work.

popcornandpotatoes · 11/01/2026 16:06

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 15:44

She was rightly made to delete it.

And bizarrely not given a disciplinary.

Do you work in HR? you seem bizarrely obsessed with the recording. I do work in HR, in a county council, and op would not be disciplined for recording someone acting aggressively towards her.

Even if she was, personal safety comes before ANY job. No job is worth being attacked by colleagues and I would encourage anyone who felt unsafe to record what was happening and deal with the consequences later. I certainly would.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 16:05

District66 · 11/01/2026 15:49

Nobody can make me do anything with my personal property. I made the decision to delete it.
That may or may not come back to bite me depending on what happens next, I guess

The police absolutely could make you delete things from your phone

And your workplace are well within their rights to say you must delete it or face disciplinary action

The fact the public can film is irrelevant

Where I work is open to the public. If I visit as a member of the public there is no restriction on what I film and share. If I am at work then there are restrictions, even on the exact same content

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:04

Is there a block button?

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 16:03

Yes I'm sure you will.

(keep us posted that is, not get stabbed on Monday).

District66 · 11/01/2026 16:02

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 15:58

Your own words from your own opening post...

"I’ve been forced to delete the footage"

And then also your own words...

"Nobody can make me do anything with my personal property. I made the decision to delete it."

Edited

I’m pretty sure I could’ve refused had been so inclined. And then yes, maybe they may have taken further steps, we will never know.
And actually, how would they ever know if I’d backed it up?
As it as it is, I have deleted it which as I say I may or may not come to regret if I’m stabbed to death on Monday
I’ll keep you posted

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 15:58

Your own words from your own opening post...

"I’ve been forced to delete the footage"

And then also your own words...

"Nobody can make me do anything with my personal property. I made the decision to delete it."

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 15:56

District66 · 11/01/2026 15:51

Nothing of the sort happened, actually

Game, what on earth do you mean by game? Are you alright? I know I’m not alright but I’m now concerned about you.

I know I’m not alright

Christ, that's an understatement OP if ever I read one.

You were made to delete the footage because if you didn't, you would've been sacked.

That's the truth of it and you know it.

But you're too busy playing silly buggers with the replies.

District66 · 11/01/2026 15:51

DuplicateUserName · 11/01/2026 15:50

See this is you being disingenuous and splitting hairs again.

You were made to delete it or get sacked for gross misconduct.

And again, you know this 🙄

I'm not really sure what game you're playing with this thread.

Nothing of the sort happened, actually

Game, what on earth do you mean by game? Are you alright? I know I’m not alright but I’m now concerned about you.

OP posts:
InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 11/01/2026 15:51

District66 · 11/01/2026 15:50

Work that requires us to put ourselves on the front line and deal with societies most troubled humans

Probation officer?

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