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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

40 replies

luxurynuts · 11/01/2026 10:37

Dh can’t stand having the heating on as he is constantly hot and hates being hot.
He thinks it’s ok for us to be cold because we can just put more on or put a blanket round us but there’s nothing he can do about being too hot.
AIBU or is he?
Bearing in mind we also have 3 children who are also cold and wrapped in layers and blankets while he sits in his shorts.

OP posts:
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pavillion1 · 11/01/2026 14:58

I’d rather be too cold

InterestedDad37 · 11/01/2026 14:56

Friday Night Dinner, anyone? 🤔📺😀

goldenloafs · 11/01/2026 14:54

Too cold, I hate feeling hot.

Fireside10 · 11/01/2026 14:54

Too cold, too much heat makes me feel ill. That said if I was in the minority I would of course put the heating on (unless you're sat there in shorts and a t-shirt whinging like my husband does.)

Fearfulsaints · 11/01/2026 12:41

I guess it depends how hot is too hot and how cold is too cold. I'd manage better at 17 degrees with a blanket than 37 degrees on a walk but worse at 15 than 25.

Ive had heat stroke but not hypothermia.

Itiswhysofew · 11/01/2026 12:35

Your home should feel appropriate for the time of year, temperature-wise. He's in the minority, so is being unreasonable. Is there another room he can sit in?

musicalfrog · 11/01/2026 12:35

A cold wet flannel across his knees or chest will cool him down.

I hate being too cold. I struggle to warm up without external help. Simply adding layers to something cold won't warm it up.

I also hate being too hot but the flannel trick saved me on the rare occasions it happens!

musicalfrog · 11/01/2026 12:35

A cold wet flannel across his knees or chest will cool him down.

I hate being too cold. I struggle to warm up without external help. Simply adding layers to something cold won't warm it up.

I also hate being too hot but the flannel trick saved me on the rare occasions it happens!

gingercat02 · 11/01/2026 12:33

Too hot, I hate being cold 🥶 DH and I are quite in compatible heat wise. He's on heart medication which makes him cold so the house is always quite warm. I'm menopausal so generally quite warm.

Thewonderfuleveryday · 11/01/2026 12:31

Another vote for too hot. If its very hot at least I'm comfortable , can think and move.

Too cold is miserable as I can't warm up if the air is cold.

CoffeeSparkle · 11/01/2026 12:30

Some people run hot. Lucky, as I’ve noticed it usually relates to burning excess calories instead of storing them as fat.

Give him an area in the house that he can use to cool down? An unheated conservatory?

TheMorgenmuffel · 11/01/2026 12:29

Id rather be too cold. Its easier to get warm than to cool down. Being boiling hot is bloody miserable.
That said, he has to suck it up a bit rather than leave his family freezing. Thats selfish of him. Does he think only his comfort matters?

itsthetea · 11/01/2026 12:29

I hate being too hot more than too cold but I take note of the NHS advice and have rooms at a minimum of 18

Rosealea · 11/01/2026 12:28

There's nothing worse than being too hot. I'd much rather be cold

Overstimulated · 11/01/2026 12:27

Too cold.

ByKeenBlueHelper · 11/01/2026 12:26

I like to be warm but not boiling hot I dislike being sweaty so when heating goes on I put it on like 24 being cold you can at least layer up but I don't like being freezing

modernminimalist · 11/01/2026 12:16

Too cold. I’m allergic to heat

Meadowfinch · 11/01/2026 12:06

What is too hot? 😁 I can function happily in 35 degrees. But seriously, anything below 17 is no fun. I cannot work in the cold, I am miserable, uncomfortable and can't concentrate. In your situation, I'd heat one room (sitting room?) and he can go elsewhere.

Is your dh overweight? Perhaps he could try losing some of his 'insulation' instead of making his family miserable !

5128gap · 11/01/2026 12:03

Generally I'd prefer to be too cold because adding layers, exercising or hot drinks/foods deal with it, and its only a mild discomfort. Being too hot on the other hand makes me feel unwell and suffocated.
In your situation you need a compromise. Thermostat set to the recommended room temp. Cold people layer up, move about, use heated throws etc. Hot people wear light clothes, have cold drinks, use a fan if need be.

TheGreatBugsy · 11/01/2026 12:01

Too cold. I spent several years during perimenopause being horribly hot and red faced and sweaty all the time. I was always too hot. Now, post-menopause and after a significant weight loss I am freezing all the time. My fingers and toes go numb just walking round the fridge section in a supermarket! However I just pile multiple layers on and wrap up in blankets at home and so can make myself feel more comfortable than I did when I was hot!

Snowmoebeele · 11/01/2026 12:01

Team cold! Especially as a peri woman!

I've always, always thought, it's far easier to get warm than to cool off.

Unless he is expecting you to sit in a house that's 10c, YABVVU

ConBatulations · 11/01/2026 12:00

Could you keep one room cooler by turning the radiator thermostat to a minimum and the rest of the house a comfortable indoor temperature which for most people is 18°-21°C. Anything below 16°C would be unacceptable in an office or similar workplace.

AreYouSureAskedNaomi · 11/01/2026 12:00

I'd rather be too cold

When I'm too hot i feel woozy and faint, I can't think and I'm irritable and impatient.

When I'm too cold I can move or put more clothes on

Purplecatshopaholic · 11/01/2026 11:59

treetherapy · 11/01/2026 11:42

Too hot. I dont enjoy being hot and sweaty but being cold is far worse.

When it's bitterly cold your fingers and toes feel literally painful and it inhibits your entire body. Having a shower is awful because when you get out it makes you shiver (whereas in heat it's delightful and refreshing). Cold is far worse and it also prevents me from wanting to go outside for walks/runs which do me the world of good.

This for me too. And I have a lung condition that is much easier to manage in the heat than the cold.
In this situation though, I think a compromise is needed. If everyone is wrapped up and miserable apart from your DH, op, then some middle ground needs to be found. What is the actual temperature of your house?

RandomUsernameHere · 11/01/2026 11:58

YANBU
I absolutely hate the cold. He’s not normal to not want the heating on in this weather and it’s not fair on the other four people.