To be almost depressed with my god awful hair?

Cut it off! Get a bob / lob. Go to a good hairdresser and ask what they recommend to suit you face shape then go for it.

Improve your diet, cut it short ( you don't like it now so why keep poor condition, dead hair hanging around?), stop dying it and do a lot of intensive conditioning treatments as the new hair grows.

But the biggest thing is to change your diet. How can your body grow and repair properly if you are not nourishing it well?

Mine long and the longer it’s got the more curl it has, drives me mad as if I leave it I look like hagrids sister, bushy frizzy and out of control.

I use panten oil treatment to help control and use a hot brush hairdryer which has been a game change for me, easy to use, quick and gets my hair straight

I have never dyed my hair though and that’s likely to be part of your issue. Could you live with not dyeing it anymore?

Vitamin C is essential for iron absorption. Botin supplements are good for hair too.

Do you use any stylers?

Take the advice about diet etc, but while you're waiting for results, learn to do some up-dos that look elegant rather than teenagerish - lots of tutorials online. Wash it with frizz-ease shampoo, spray with their dream curls spray and comb through while damp. And yes, consider a good shorter cut. My curly hair's got thinner with age and I've had to accept it needs to stay no longer than shoulder-length now - nothing looks more crap than a stringy little rat-tail down your back.

I’m 43 and my hair is finally in a good way after being fried with bleach/heat/bad diet. It was around 4 inches shorter at the sides compared to the back and wouldn’t grow.
Like I said I’m happy with it now, but it’s been a process.
I had it all chopped off into a bob. I also had 4 Brazilian blow drys over the space of a year, they take away all frizz meaning you don’t have to use heat.
I also had it dyed to match my roots and haven’t dyed it in years now.
I take biotin, iron and magnesium supplements along with pumpkin seed oil.
I use a shampoo and conditioner that was recommended to me on here… Luseta Black Jamaican Castor Oil.
And I do a scalp treatment with rosemary oil once a week.

A good cut and move to a warmer hair dye. Dark dyes can look very harsh on aging pale skins. And start taking some hair and nails supplements if fixing your diet is hard.

People should style their hair as they want. But I find it sad when women feel such revulsion at their own bodies/skin/hair and the natural ageing process.

How ridiculous!

Do you see the hairdresser regularly? Have you spoken to them about it? I’ve been seeing my hairdresser for years and we’re slowly adapting what we do as I get older (although I am in my 30s so it’s really just greys for now).

You probably don’t want to hear this but my hairs condition improved x100 when I let it all go grey. I think some peoples hair (mine for sure) struggles with being dyed over and over. At my most recent hair cut, the hair dresser was telling me how “gorgeous” my hair was! That’s never happened in my life!

I’ve gone for shoulder length with some shorter face framing bits. My hair was like yours, constantly dyed dark brown, long, thin and straggly. IMO it looks much better now. Definitely get it cut shorter, it will help.

Personally I’d get it cut short and in parallel change my diet so the new growth is healthier. If you don’t want it cut short you can get extensions added but would still need to change your diet.

You can try all the methods you want, but you need to fix the root cause. Have you been to the doctors? Have you changed your diet?