Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man knocking telling me to come outside

157 replies

AmberHiker · 11/01/2026 01:07

At around 11pm, when all the houses were dark and quiet, an unknown man repeatedly knocked on my door. He didn’t knock loudly like it was an emergency – it was light but constant, which somehow felt worse.

I was home alone with my young child, which already made me feel vulnerable. I didn’t open the door but spoke through the glass. He told me there was an issue with “cars outside” and kept saying I should come out and look. His story was vague and didn’t really make sense. He had a dog right up at my door and he stood a few steps back. I started recording the conversation on my phone.

As it went on, he became more agitated. He then said he was going home but still told me I should come out and check for myself. I didn’t.

After he left, I looked outside properly from my kitchen window . The only car there was mine. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it – no lights on, no windows open, no damage, nothing. There were no other cars like he’d suggested either. There was literally no reason for him to knock on my door late at night.

The fact that he knocked repeatedly, tried to get me to come outside, and used a story that wasn’t true has really shaken me. Being alone at night with my child, in the dark, with someone trying to lure me outside has made me feel unsafe in my own home. I keep thinking how different it could have been if I’d opened the door.

I’ve reported it, but I just wanted to share in case it helps someone else trust their instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

OP posts:
Thehandinthecookiejar · 11/01/2026 09:38

Why would you go and “have a look” at a broken down car? Are you a mechanic? Very weird. Good for you for not opening the door though

Mixerfixer · 11/01/2026 09:34

Any camera would be fine, doesn't need to be a "ring doorbell " You can get some quite cheap ones that you can plug in, so no need to charge. And you can see the fotage on your phone.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/01/2026 09:30

How scary. I hope you’re OK now, OP.

A ring doorbell would be good.
Our burglar alarm includes a panic button right by the front door* which will summon the police. I’ve never had to use it - the only time it’s been used was by a child on a play date who had poked it - the police came round PDQ - I was very apologetic, but they said it happened a lot.

*there’s another right by the bed.

Dery · 11/01/2026 09:22

“butterpuffed · Today 08:02
I was married to a policeman and he sometimes worked nights [from 10pm]. He used to say if someone knocks , don't actually open the door , talk through it [like the OP] but as you go up to it call out 'It's okay, I'll go' so they don't think you're alone in the house.”

This is great advice. Give the impression you’re not alone and also ideally that there’s a man in the house.

Not quite the same thing but for when you’re in the street: i have raised my now young adult DDs to be wary of adults (particularly men) who approach young women to ask for help. If they need help, they can get it from another adult male. I had a taste of this many years ago when walking home late at night. I was vaguely aware of a man walking towards me on the other side of the road. He had been walking normally. Then he saw me and suddenly leaned down on a crutch he had been carrying and asked if i would help him up the steps to his front door (some of the houses on that road have front steps). I refused and kept walking. I wasn’t particularly scared because traffic-wise this is a reasonably busy road, but i still get a chill thinking about what might have happened if i’d helped him. Nowadays, i would report this just so the police have a note of it but it happened about 20 years ago.

RampantIvy · 11/01/2026 09:19

That sounds worrying. Have you checked your car this morning?

Laura95167 · 11/01/2026 09:09

Tbh if this happens again, I wouldnt speak to him i would ignore the knocking and call the police immediately.

BarbarianBabs · 11/01/2026 08:54

AmberHiker · 11/01/2026 01:27

I actually have two ring doorbells one in the front and one covering the back alley and just my luck both were on charge at this time . I’m still awake now, I feel so unsettled which is silly but had I opened the door I’m assuming the dog would have come in first. I’ve listened to the recording over and over he doesn’t say for example ‘ sorry to knocks late is that your car outside ? The window is down ‘ you know something plausible it’s all very vague . First he says you should come out and look when he sees I’m not going too he says ‘ I’m going home now but you should still come look for yourself ‘ he was like 6ft with a non local accent and had a scarf wrapped around the bottom of his face .. which he did remove . Why did he knock so gently ? First couple I ignored I assumed maybe a delivery driver wrong house , but after a gap he knocked again.. feel quite shook up

I highly recommend getting a spare battery so you can always replace with a charged one with the dead battery is charging up.

so sorry this happened. Must have been very unsettling.

Rightsraptor · 11/01/2026 08:52

This man may have MH problems or he may not. Either way that's not OP's problem, and anyway he could have MH issues and also be a predator: in my book any predator can't be emotionally healthy.

Well done, OP, you did the right thing. I've read on here about Ring doorbells that you can speak to the visitor through and you can choose a male or female voice. Given that most men like this prey on lone females and seem to run off when a man arrives, that sounds like something worth investigating.

Carodebalo · 11/01/2026 08:51

Thanks for reminding us OP to trust our instincts. I’d like to add to that: don’t answer the door if you don’t want to. (Don’t answer the phone, if you don’t want to either!) Just because someone comes knocking, does not mean you even need to go close to the door. Ignore, and they’ll go away. (If it’s a real emergency, you’ll know.)

Walkerzoo · 11/01/2026 08:49

I would have been spooked too. Hope you got some sleep and no damage out side

ThumbTowers · 11/01/2026 08:37

Just another possibility, we had a dog walker knock on our door one evening over Christmas (not as last as 11pm, but it was about 9pm). I made my husband answer as i know it's scary. My husband had left his car door open after rushing to get in! We were grateful. You did absolutely the right thing not to answer and his quiet constant knocking was creepy (although possibly explained by him being aware it was so late and being uncertain what to do) but it could be a genuine issue he was alerting you to. I think murdering rapists are unlikely to take their dog along for the act, but you never know. I would check the car this morning. As others have said, keep the doorbell charged (although presumably he would have seen it anyway and not known it was uncharged? I don't have one so don't know how it works, but obviously not a deterrent, just evidence if something happened?) and I think the idea of shouting out "I'll get it, love" is a good one etc.

Comewhatmay25 · 11/01/2026 08:32

toomuchgoingonhere · 11/01/2026 08:19

I just wanted to ask if you’ve had a look at your car this morning? Everything look okay?

I was thinking this. One night my dodgy neighbour was banging on my door quite loudly past midnight. I was scared so didnt answer. Turns out I had left my keys in the door and he was trying to wake me up to take them in 😂

Thewonderfuleveryday · 11/01/2026 08:22

If you can then splash out on a spare ring doorbell battery (£30 ish?). They do take a long time to charge. I just charge the second battery so I can swop over each time one runs out.

beadystar · 11/01/2026 08:22

So scary. Please also be aware that in some cases, they try to keep you occupied at the front while someone else goes round the back. That went on in my parents’ area. Absolutely get a video door bell.

Morecoombe · 11/01/2026 08:22

Very sinister indeed. Thank god you didn’t open door. He must have watched to know there was no man there otherwise he wouldn’t have done this …
I don’t think it’s mental health , I think he obviously was a predator.
What sort of accent was it OP? British?
check with neighbours if he’s been caught on anyone else’s doorcam. Police should be looking for this scum.

toomuchgoingonhere · 11/01/2026 08:19

I just wanted to ask if you’ve had a look at your car this morning? Everything look okay?

853ax · 11/01/2026 08:17

I had loud knocking late night before I didn't answer. Next day noticed a note left on car by police that they had called no answer.
I ran them back explained I didn't answer as late and home alone not expecting callers, they said that fine never open door if don't want to.

Perrylobster · 11/01/2026 08:12

Nearly50omg · 11/01/2026 08:10

If he comes back ring 999 and id highly recommend getting a video doorbell - especially living on your own with kids

she has two but they were on charge

Nearly50omg · 11/01/2026 08:10

If he comes back ring 999 and id highly recommend getting a video doorbell - especially living on your own with kids

Perrylobster · 11/01/2026 08:09

I had a man repeatedly try to get into my home when I lived alone.
One of the times (and the last) I shouted ‘Dad, he’s back!’ ‘Get him’ and the guy ran off.

pandowo · 11/01/2026 08:08

It’s not silly you being scared op, it would really frighten me too. I hope you feel a little better now it’s getting light out

WhatMummyMakesSheEats · 11/01/2026 08:03

We have run our ring charger around the door and through the wall so that it’s constantly charged and we are never left without

butterpuffed · 11/01/2026 08:02

I was married to a policeman and he sometimes worked nights [from 10pm]. He used to say if someone knocks , don't actually open the door , talk through it [like the OP] but as you go up to it call out 'It's okay, I'll go' so they don't think you're alone in the house.

Lennonjingles · 11/01/2026 07:58

I never open my door after dark full stop.

Cruiser123 · 11/01/2026 07:55

Gosh, this is so scary. About 15 years, I walked back from the bus stop to the house with my elderly father. It was dark and a guy that was on the bus followed us from the bus stop to our house. He knew I was aware, because everytime I looked back he was hiding behind a tree.

I didn't tell my father, because I didn't want him to get involved in a fight with a younger, stronger man, who possibly had a knife on him.

When we reached our front door, our next door neighbours came out of the house.

Thinking back, that was like a shield, I'm worried he might have tried to follow us in the house if they hadn't been there.

The man stood there, with his arms folded and staring at me intensively.

Luckily our dog was there too and I shouted at him that I have a dog in the house.

Not sure if our dog would have defended us, he was a big softie.

For a while after this happened I was really unsettled and was scared to leave the house, fearing that this man was lurking outside.