Told to cover up

People are odd when it comes to feeding your DCs. Comments about using a bottle and you should be bf’ing. Comments about showing everything and do it behind closed doors. So Mums are always on a loser with someone.

But hopefully you also get some good comments. I was feeding DD in a pub (discretely I thought) as I had come to meet DH for lunch during his workday, and an old codger looked over after a bit and said it was great to see a mum doing what was best for baby and to keep it up. That one comment helped me get through many nasty ones. And often I would see people looking with a little smile but saying nothing - it’s the people with nasty comments who tend to actually say something while those who think you are doing it right stay quiet.

Stupid woman. I’d have told her directly her views were old-fashioned & offensive, undermining (other women), could get her into legal trouble if she works anywhere, and most importantly were not asked for or wanted. Sometimes you need to use very clear, direct language with people.

I would tell her to cover her eyes if she didn’t like it.

What a vicious thing to do. I can understand why you’re upset, it’s even worse that she started up a conversation with you to pretend to be friendly so that she had an in to be hurtful.

Some people just have no joy and want to take it away from others.

I didn’t vote as I didn’t easily understand which one to choose

OP is not BU for feeding in public
woman sitting next to OP is 100% BU

Don’t feel upset, feel righteous! Hopefully there won’t be a next time for this sort of encounter, but plan what you’ll say if it happens again so you can be ready.

The only thing people should be saying to a breastfeeding mum in a cafe is "Can I get you another drink?" It will often be empty or cold after they've fed and dropped off to sleep, and you have no way of ordering another.

Anyone with an issue is a pathetic prude.

I’d probably have said, ‘I don’t want or need your opinion, thanks.’

Is it?
I'm 67 and breastfed DD.

The woman told her you can get nursing covers and pointed out her nipple was on show.

It would be covered by the baby feeding. When I fed DD there was nothing to be seen.

Why would the OP want to throw in some pointless racism, when there are plenty of other good comebacks she could have used, as suggested by many on here?

Some stupid bitch came into our cafe kitchen from another department at Sainsbury's cafe and started slagging off a woman breastfeeding (saying "that's nice innit?having your tit out!?")
I was in early pregnancy with my daughter so I said "when this baby is born i intend to breastfeed wherever I want!"
She was all like "ooh really?" A bit surprised. I just got back to my salad prep with a pissed off face

It’s a generation thing, even my mum in her early 60’s struggled to understand how I felt so confident BF in public and suggested I buy a cover. I did BF 2 babies and luckily had no negative comments while being out and about

I would have been tempted to get both boobs fully out in these circumstances. Maybe this woman would like to eat her lunch with a blanket over her head.

The thing that worries me on this thread is that anyone at all has voted YABU! ❤️

Fuck off is a full sentence next time op.

Random thought, do these idiots avoid European beaches where women sunbahh th he topless?!

I am 70 and I breast fed all my children whenever and wherever they were hungry. Including in cafes, churches for example. So did the majority of my friends. I never had a negative remark from anyone.
It isn't an age thing it is a level of ignorance thing.

crack on, OP. She’s bonkers. you should be only proud of breastfeeding your baby. Anyone making you feel otherwise is either jealous or looking to victimise someone. New mums are vulnerable so can become easy targets to vultures. Do not tolerate it.

the more confident I became with feeding the more freely i fed however and wherever. Using no cover used to set my own mum on edge sometimes but I didn’t pander to her awkwardness, i just kept on going, most of the time it was too hot to faff with a big cover and tbh i couldn’t be arsed. Honestly being a new mum you don’t have capacity to bend to other people’s emotions they just need to learn to get on with it. Not your problem!

Well done on telling her you weren't interested. These type of things catch me off guard and I'm never quick enough to answer back. Last time I went for a coffee, I was settling my baby to sleep in the pram when someone interrupted with a similar comment as if offering help but it only came across as judgmental. Keep breastfeeding, don't be put off and enjoy getting out and about with your baby. Being mum to a new baby is hard enough without unsolicited advice of strangers. You're doing great!

I’m so sorry you were upset. She was entirely in the wrong. 💐

Please don’t let it make you hesitate to feed in public in future.

I fed both of mine for 18 months in all sorts of places including church and mostly only got encouraging smiles.

I did once have an elderly lady march up to us in a cafe and braced for a comment but she said in a very “no nonsense” tone that my children were beautiful and it was wonderful to see babies being breastfed. I nearly burst into tears.

Were there any seats she could have used that were NOT next to another person? It's weird (and possibly kind of rude) that she chose to sit right next to you AND start a conversation when you were obviously concentrating on something else. You might have been targeted, but I wouldn't give it any more thought. You're comfortable with the arrangement you've worked out when you ave to breastfeed in public and it's not required that you cover up even as much as you did. She was the one doing something odd/possibly offensive, not you.

Ignore the daft old bat.

Hope you’re OK

Ignore her. Some people are awful and some are nice. She would have been awful no matter who you were or what you were doing. I got some lovely support and comments when I breastfed, I including a group of women paying for my drink without me knowing whilst I was out alone with me baby.
Look around and think to yourself that 99% of the people around you support you and are proud of you.

Anyone that has an issue with someone feeding their baby, no matter how that may be, breast or formula, is wrong.

Just focus on feeding your baby. If anyone has something bad to say about someone feeding their baby then they are the problem x