Should husband have got taxi at 4am after finishing work late?

Dh could’ve slept for three hours in the taxi

How about you go sleep in a taxi for 3 hours 😁

I wouldn't want to drive even if it was 15 mins after a full shift and then 3 hours of not brilliant sleep.
You said you didn't mind him staying over but are now annoyed because he did. Maybe he was more tired than they were.
YABU to be annoyed just because your DH was more tired than other people.

I just hope the pilot of my next flight isn't married to someone like you !

As I said, I think he made the right choice. But (1) I can understand her frustration given her own lack of sleep (2) no one seems to care about how she's managing on no sleep.

During the trenches of sorry deprivation feeling frustration in these sorts of circumstances is entirely normal because there's just not enough sleep to go around. Especially if she's used to just pushing through.

If he was going to be piloting a plane with me in, in the following few days I would have wanted him to have taken the hotel option. I want my pilots fully rested, not snatching short kips in taxis and while minding young children, whether they have been told not to disturb Daddy or not.

I'd be pissed off - he's swerved his responsibilities in favour of a lovely kid free night and morning in a hotel, dropping you in teh crap.

All this 'oh but he's a PILOT' shit and talking the OP as if she isn't aware he does need his sleep, or that she has to keep the kids from waking him when he is sleeping is ridiculous. He's not just become a pilot overnight, he and OP have been managing this likely for years and he knows what he SHOULD have done... he had an opportunity to skive his family duties and he put himself first and took it.

If he was too tired to drive back he could have got another taxi the 15 min journey home from where his car was.

If you can't handle being 'a PILOT' and also being a father, well, what can I say -change jobs, but don't dump extra work on your partner because you can't be arsed.

It is irrelevant what the rest of the crew did.
I also don't understand your timings. You say he would have had a full day to rest at home but another time you say morning and early afternoon, another post you say until 1. What time would be have gotten home if he had travelled straight away.?

Team DH here. He probably wouldn't have been able to sleep in the taxi properly or when he got home.

It's actually really important for his health to sleep when he needs it in a job like that. Can't afford to miss opportunities to get a proper rest.

Well if the other kids are up at 6 in your scenario that's even more reason for him to stay at a hotel, don't you think?

Yabu sorry

This..
if is multiple kids and zero sleep as per usual… then how will he get the safe sleep?

The post I took the quote from and quoted in bold. I can't be arsed to go back and find it.

I can never work out if it best to quote whole post of bit I'm responding to but driving tired should be taken serioulsy it's disturbing so many posters are so cavalier about it

She was still up at 4am with poorly baby. She mentions 'kids'. The other kids are probably up at 6ish.

Sorry, no, I would have taken the hotel room.

It’s not safe to go from a full day of working to a little nap in a taxi (surely no one sleeps 3 hours straight sitting up in a car) straight into a full day of childcare and driving kids around on no sleep.

The safest thing to do was sleep. That’s what I would have done and what I would have expected Dh to do.

Nobody. People are making up their own narratives.

She said she was awake with a poorly baby at 4am, not at all unusual even with a baby who is not unwell. That's literally all we know.

I agree.

The 3 hour taxi ride isn’t the worst thing in the world but if he’s not slept for hours and is jet jagged etc then I think it’s risky driving himself when he’s tired, even if was only 20mins.

I think YABU, in my view work (and therefore adequate rest) has to come first. I would have also chosen the hotel option. Unless you had a serious medical appointment or similar then I think staying at the hotel is a no brainer.

Who said she has multiple kids and zero sleep?

This isn't as straightforward as I thought it would be when I clicked on it - it's not worth rowing about, just make sure he knows you would want him home if a similar occurrence happens in the future.

He probably was shattered and needed rest. You have responsibilities too @Groay so you need an acknowledgement.

Taxi - bus - walk - better than causing an accident and killing her kids fuck sake.

Driving tired is dangerous - and if it's no sleep as I was answering to it can be as bad as drink driving it delays reactions time and causes accidents - as I said I knew someone who managed to over turn her car on way home and died and it was put down to her being tired - she did 8 hour shift coming straight from airport and hoilday and little sleep - no other contibuting factors.

I too get she is frustated - I've had it happen to me with no other childcare but her attitude is awful and I suspect it may be part of a pattern of behavior that she may need to address rather than pick this event which TBH he was probably reaonable about and as makes her look unreasonable.

No idea where your DH works but for info post the Selby rail accident at least one airline's management got quite twitched about crew driving themselves any distance at all after an extended duty day (risk of corporate liability), so advised crew not to do it and always offered hotel accomodation in those circumstances.

I'm with your DH on this.

Yes and from a man hanging around and commenting on a women’s forum 😆

This has ‘nothing to do since being thrown off a Council zoom by Jackie Weaver and finished reading Daily Mail Online for the day’ vibes.

So if your school is a drive away, how do the other kids get there? Do schools take 'mum is knackered ' as an authorised absence now?

As it happens I think he made the right choice, but I do understand her frustration.

You ABU. If he is the captain in charge of the plane then all decisions ultimately rest with him for future rotations after that rest. The CAA set legal requirements about minimum rest periods and unbroken sleep is important to satisfy these. If there is ever a near miss or worse, the CAA want to know the state of the pilot's previous hours to decide whether any blame rests with the pilot. Errors can be lethal and if a pilot survived them could still result in a custodial sentence.

I would never do anything to interrupt a pre-flight rest period as the risks are too great.

I would have chosen hotel