Should husband have got taxi at 4am after finishing work late?

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain

Us OP returning to give any more info?

Probably not, the airline world is a small one and there was enough info in the OP to potentially out the DH, certainly to company colleagues.

Hopefully it's all done and dusted...

I feel for both parties in this situation. However, in this case I tend to have more empathy with the DH as I know from experience no you can’t sleep in cabs and also it’s nigh on impossible to sleep properly in a family house during the daytime. My only experience of long cab rides has been from clubs at 5am and admittedly I was sleeping in my own place and not with a family but had friends who did go back to children on the odd occasion. If my sleep cycle was out of sync based on latter scenario then god knows what it does to a pilots one. Factor in the stress of flying and you need a good nights sleep.

Us OP returning to give any more info?

And I join team DH & Bombinia on this one .

He lands 4am and you expect him to take a 3hr taxi drive back (sleep in the taxi) and then a 20 minute drive. The earliest he's getting home is going to be about 7:30am, but more likely not before 8:00am, and what if he doesn't manage to sleep in the taxi and falls asleep at the wheel of his car for that 20 minute drive (which is more likely because its a familiar route)
By the time he gets home, greets everyone, eats, showers and does everything else he needs to do its unlikely he'll be hitting the sack much before 10am. Then what you expect to sleep straight away? - highly unlikely as the rest of the world would have woken up, so unlikely that he will get much sleep, and if he did he's not getting up until mid afternoon, plus it will put his body clock out of whack.
No, he did the right and responsible thing, even if it caused some inconvenience.

Other pilot may be younger or less tired.

Or be in a position to go to bed and sleep for eight hours when he got home.

In all the timings being thrown around, there also needs to be time allowed for the dh to eat - before going to bed at 4am, before getting the taxi at 2pm. Or before going to bed at whatever time he got home in the morning, if he'd opted for the 3 hr taxi at 4am.

And if he'd got a taxi from the home airport, rather than driving, the car wouldn't have been available for ferrying children later.

His employer has quite correctly ensured that he is able to take the legally required 10 hour break, how they arrange it with the hotel is there business.

But the employer (who has a duty) of care offered it as an option and it sounds like the co-pilot took it.

The employer has discharged their duty of care by offering the room. ...they can't insist an individual takes it.

If the co-pilot had a car crash post a long or v long day and there is police involvement then the company simply turns round to police/CPS and says "we offered them somewhere to sleep, they didn't take it, it's their problem, they didn't have to drive home"...

Sorry to be stuck on repeat but the fall out from Selby got some companies really quite twitched..

Where I was at the line from the company, and at least one union with regard to crew driving post work became:

The individual was responsible for making sure they were fit to drive home after working as rostered.

If OTOH the day got extended beyond normal limits the company would offer accommodation. That offer, whether accepted or not, covered the company's arse.

But the employer (who has a duty) of care offered it as an option and it sounds like the co-pilot took it.

BTW, I’m not sure what the “right” answer is and I think that’s quite telling in itself, but I’m just not immediately Team DH.

It's not simply a case of him taking some supposed hit, there's potential for real jeopardy.

1. Driving: if he had an accident on the drive from the crew car park to home having not rested potentially the police/CPS could have been be all over him like a rash..(if he survives)...see, yet again, the Selby case, etc etc blah blah...

If the DH was prosecuted and convicted in those circumstances that's potentially a career ender.........

1. Flying: Possibly less of an issue but whilst DH was, as best I can work it out, supposedly not rostered for work Saturday it's unlikely but not impossible he was rostered for a Sun AM start. The DH has a responsibility (it's another one of those pesky legal things) to be, on paper at least, rested and not fatigued prior to duty...given the circumstances how/where would that best have been achieved?

Ultimately balancing an airline crew job with having young kids can be very tough on the whole family, and sometimes it's not possible to keep everyone happy...

I think that poster is one of those who's hatred for men is so intense that they will always side with the woman regardless

Did he realise, at 4am, the knock on effect of him staying would mean you not being able to go to your event? And what was the event? For me that’s the crux. Relationships are all about compromise and sometimes having to put yourself out a bit, pushing through* with kids even when you’re tired. I can completely see both points of view here and it’s a tricky one. I assume no way he could have got a taxi earlier than 2pm?

ETA: pushing through within the safe limits of what’s allowed for pilots wrt to rest, but in this case given he wasn’t flying the next day, I think there was scope for him to take the hit and head home.

Were the rest of the crew on point to do childcare when they got home ?

Exactly, and your dp like this man will have to legally declare that they are “fit to fly/drive” for work purposes, can’t believe there’s so many people thinking that he’s being selfish for doing this!

This thread is full of women saying they would have done the same as OP's husband in his situation (you can add me to that) so I have no idea where you're getting this post from.

I can imagine the subsequent inquiry, in which any surviving member of the crew would have explained that DH was shattered and had really wanted to sleep at the hotel but his wife had insisted that he travel all night so that he could get home in time to look after the children so she could go to a party.

Exactly this! Imagine the company saying they'd paid for his total room and taxi home the next afternoon as per company policy, but the wife insisted otherwise.

I wonder if the husband will get to see this thread-I would imagine it will be shared amongst some pilots and airline staff!

Makes me feel extra safe while flying that the pilots up front might not of slept due to their partner at home haranguing them to take 3 hour cab rides at 4am.

OP he works a transport job. It unpredictable and has all sorts of unforseen delays. Sometimes he won't make it home on schedule. Get used to it.

Yes you are right, didn’t think of that 🤦‍♀️

Team dh on this hotel seemed very reasonable given this situation

A commercial pilot must be fully rested and alert while responsible for potentially hundreds of lives, and you want to second guess how he manages that?

Team DH here.

Agreed, and also the mass move of the initial batch of crew in the early hours who decided they would risk travel might quite possibly have been done using a bus/minibus or at least several to a cab, in which case possibly no scope for individual house calls.

I wonder if his decision was a bit selfish.. a poorly baby might make sleep at home more difficult.
In the other hand I often find hotels horribly noisy.

I’m actually shocked at how unreasonable you are being, OP. He’s a pilot ffs, the responsibility is huge, and the importance of proper rest is paramount. Are you always this unreasonable about his work responsibilities? Because as a PP said, it is concerning to think that any of us could put our lives in the hands of a pilot who is being pressured by his wife to make unsafe decisions regarding his sleep. You need to reassess your attitude towards his job.

Presumably because the airline's policy for taxis is that they will only pay to get them back to their base. And it would then have to be 2 bookings for DH to get home

Probably booked late checkout as he wasn't in bed until after 4 am?

But they weren’t the pilot