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Original poster

Was this unacceptable behaviour with my DD?

32 replies

AliceAbsolum · 10/01/2026 16:42

Went outside with DD, 3, for a bit, playing imaginary bear hunt. She was appropriately dressed for the weather. Moaned, winged and shouted. So I took her to soft play, she wouldn't play, kept saying she was bored, yet screamed the place down when we left. Refused to walk to the car, etc etc.
When we got home she continued to shout at me because I put her snack on a plate and not in a bag!
I then said "right I've had enough" and under my breath I said "you are not nice to be around", she would not have heard this due to her screaming. I walked away from her, closed the door to the bedroom and breathed deeply. Que more screaming. She followed me up stairs and then I felt guilty and we repaired.

I can't be this saint who manages this all the time! Pretty sure I used to have a life that didn't involve horrible indoor soft play and being shouted at all day.

How do people manage to not get frustrated?

OP posts:
Original poster
AliceAbsolum · 10/01/2026 16:55

Bunnymcgee · 10/01/2026 16:52

I have a 2 and 4 year old and it's so hard not to get frustrated. Ive found that I deal with it far better if my own tank isn't empty. When it is it's so hard not to blow up but I know it's not going to help either of us if I do. When they're behaving that way non-stop then I need to try to take a step back and think where it's coming from. A one-off tantrum can just be a tantrum but if it's all day it's likely coming from something else whether hunger, tiredness or something else. Sometimes it's really hard to work out what though. One day my 2 year old was like this all day and I couldnt work out why, then at bath time when I took off her clothes I realised that her sock had a little tiny plastic label still in it, but cut and pointing inwards, so it had obviously been irritating her all day but she wasn't able to tell me (despite having good language).
Do you have someone who can take over for a bit for you to decompress a bit?

Thanks for the solidarity. Thing is my tank was full! I'd finally had some time to myself yesterday after a long stressful Christmas. But I think that almost made it worse. I was so relaxed yesterday.

Then I feel guilty for not enjoying this.

OP posts:
Original poster
AliceAbsolum · 10/01/2026 16:53

Coconutter24 · 10/01/2026 16:50

It’s ok to get frustrated and it’s ok to walk away from her to take a breath. When you say you repair why does that involve? Do you correct her behaviour in anyway or tell her during the time it’s not ok?

I explained why I was frustrated and apologised for getting frustrated. Hug. Then go do something else.

I don't know how to encourage her to explain what she wants without shouting. She gets so overwhelmed so quickly.

Fwiw definitely NT.

OP posts:
Bunnymcgee · 10/01/2026 16:52

I have a 2 and 4 year old and it's so hard not to get frustrated. Ive found that I deal with it far better if my own tank isn't empty. When it is it's so hard not to blow up but I know it's not going to help either of us if I do. When they're behaving that way non-stop then I need to try to take a step back and think where it's coming from. A one-off tantrum can just be a tantrum but if it's all day it's likely coming from something else whether hunger, tiredness or something else. Sometimes it's really hard to work out what though. One day my 2 year old was like this all day and I couldnt work out why, then at bath time when I took off her clothes I realised that her sock had a little tiny plastic label still in it, but cut and pointing inwards, so it had obviously been irritating her all day but she wasn't able to tell me (despite having good language).
Do you have someone who can take over for a bit for you to decompress a bit?

Coconutter24 · 10/01/2026 16:50

It’s ok to get frustrated and it’s ok to walk away from her to take a breath. When you say you repair why does that involve? Do you correct her behaviour in anyway or tell her during the time it’s not ok?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 10/01/2026 16:48

It’s fine, it’s just what kids of this age are like

Original poster
AliceAbsolum · 10/01/2026 16:46

Thanks. I do but it makes 0 difference.

OP posts:
Azandme · 10/01/2026 16:44

It's fine.

It would also be f8ne to tell her that you don't like her behaviour.

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