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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have sent DCs friends home for this behaviour?

588 replies

VictorBaucherOrSomething · 10/01/2026 14:07

DD (11) had two friends for a sleepover last night. About 9pm I walked into the kitchen to find them playing some 'game' where one of them was trying to make the other two laugh when their mouths were full of water. The girls were holding soup bowls and spitting the water into them, except they were obviously missing the bowls and there was spat-out water on my kitchen floor. I asked them to stop and to clean up the mess they made.

When i returned to the kitchen they were still playing the game, with the manky water still on the floor so I asked them to stop again. I have a mirror in the kitchen and saw the two other girls rolling their eyes behind my back and trying not to snigger. At that point I told them it was time for them to go home, so I called their parents to collect them. One parent was pretty apologetic, the other was less than impressed and was pretty snippy with me.

DD still isn't speaking to me for sending her pals away but I was pissed off with the lack of respect from them. AIBU?

OP posts:
SulkySeagull · 10/01/2026 14:33

Bloody hell it’s not like you caught them drinking and smoking. I’d have said ‘enough of the eye rolls girls, now here’s a mop’ and left them to it.

Whosthetabbynow · 10/01/2026 14:33

Rhaidimiddim · 10/01/2026 14:30

Daughter brought the smbarassment on herself by not doing as her mum told her.

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I said that I wouldn’t have embarrassed her

IwishIcouldconfess · 10/01/2026 14:33

Sorry op, you have majorly cocked up here, I'm embarrassed for you.

vanillalattes · 10/01/2026 14:33

Rhaidimiddim · 10/01/2026 14:26

I doubt this very much. More likely the cannier parents will respect the OP for having a backbone.

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She didn't have a backbone, she caused a massive drama over nothing and upset her daughter and her friends.

Hopefully the OP's dramatics don't backfire.

MagicStarrz · 10/01/2026 14:33

I can understand why you'd feel that way OP. It does feel a bit disrespectful.

I would have perhaps warned them. "Please don't roll your eyes at me. I've asked you to clean up so if you'd like to have your sleepover please can you do that now" and then they had the chance to do it and stay. It still feels harsh but I get it if you're not in the mood.

ScrambledEggs12 · 10/01/2026 14:31

Megifer · 10/01/2026 14:30

I would have been dying to ask if I could join in tbh!

Me too, I'd then be the embarrassing mum who wanted to join in!

Rhaidimiddim · 10/01/2026 14:30

Whosthetabbynow · 10/01/2026 14:26

I wouldn’t have been happy but I wouldn’t have embarrassed my daughter.

Daughter brought the smbarassment on herself by not doing as her mum told her.

Pricelessadvice · 10/01/2026 14:30

I’d have made them stop that game asap but I wouldn’t have sent them home.
They might not have been allowed back though!

vanillalattes · 10/01/2026 14:30

Jeez, you really need to lighten up.

As long as they cleaned up afterwards, I really can't see the problem with this. They're kids having fun.

Megifer · 10/01/2026 14:30

I would have been dying to ask if I could join in tbh!

BadgernTheGarden · 10/01/2026 14:30

You may well have ruined their parents evenings as well. It was hardly an emergency to ring them like that. I would have had a heart attack (assuming some sort of disaster) before you got to the spitting water... Can't you control a couple of girls for a few hours when they have been left in your care?

Goingootforawalk · 10/01/2026 14:29

I think this is OTT. Your child will feel humiliated and embarrassed when this gets out at school. It was just unnecessary.

If anything, you could have given them a strict time limit and said stop rolling your eyes at me and if you don’t clean this up in 3 minutes flat I will call your parents.

That threat alone probably would’ve worked but to leap right into sending them home seems a bit much.

DoIdriveaVauxhallZafira · 10/01/2026 14:29

Your house, your rules

MrsPinkSky · 10/01/2026 14:28

Rhaidimiddim · 10/01/2026 14:26

I doubt this very much. More likely the cannier parents will respect the OP for having a backbone.

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There is no backbone here.

Only overreaction.

NerrSnerr · 10/01/2026 14:28

Stompythedinosaur · 10/01/2026 14:25

The eye rolling was a reaction to them feeling shame and not dealing with it well, I'd have ignore that tbh.

I would have made them clean up the water on the floor but I wouldn't have sent them home. Tbh I'd have tried to avoid it becoming a battle at all, because I want my house to be somewhere my dc and their friends want to hang out. It's easier to say "when you're finished I'd appreciate to cleaning up" than lay down the law.

Edited

I agree with this- I have a year 7 11 year old and I really want her friends to feel welcome here so there’s a safe, welcoming house.

I’d have told them I saw the eye roll but wouldn’t have sent them home for it.

RudolphTheReindeer · 10/01/2026 14:27

I probably wouldn't have sent them home. I would have told them to stop and clean up and that it's stupid to follow social media trends

MrsPinkSky · 10/01/2026 14:26

You also need to consider this OP.

Your child isn't long off her teenage years, which can be the most worrying of all for parents as their kids gain newer found freedom.

Overreacting to this degree is not going to encourage your teen daughter to want to hang out at home with her friends in future.

Instead she'll be hanging out anywhere but home, and you'll be regretting the reason why.

Whosthetabbynow · 10/01/2026 14:26

I wouldn’t have been happy but I wouldn’t have embarrassed my daughter.

Xmasfeeling · 10/01/2026 14:26

Definitely overreacted! Feel quite sorry for your daughter.

Rhaidimiddim · 10/01/2026 14:26

MrsPinkSky · 10/01/2026 14:22

Well it's clearly something you're not, given your sarky reply.

Yes it's about respect, but it's a telling off - not a sending home.

No parent is going to allow their child to sleepover again once it gets out, that they've had to go and pick their child up at gone 9pm over something like this.

And the poor kid is now a laughing stock.

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I doubt this very much. More likely the cannier parents will respect the OP for having a backbone.

neverbeenskiing · 10/01/2026 14:26

I'd have just put a big towel down for them to sit on and made sure they tidied up afterwards. The eye rolling would annoy me too, but I wouldn't send them home as that's effectively punishing your DD for the behaviour of other children.

Anyahyacinth · 10/01/2026 14:26

I'd have no problem with this with these details...even having to go out to collect.
Nope to being rude and spitting all over my kitchen.

Where did "say thank you for having me go" ?

I also don't care about a school reputation...behave well or consequences...totally served me

NerrSnerr · 10/01/2026 14:25

CrapNewYear · 10/01/2026 14:21

Are you kidding?

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Why would they be kidding? They were playing an innocent game which is easily cleaned up. Chuck a towel down and it’s sorted. It’s literally just a funny game.

TartanMammy · 10/01/2026 14:25

Yabu. It's just a bit of water as long as the clean it up after I don't see the big deal. There is a lot worse things they could be doing!
Your poor dd will be so embarrassed. Are you usually this uprtight? It's just kids playing a silly game at a sleepover.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/01/2026 14:25

The eye rolling was a reaction to them feeling shame and not dealing with it well, I'd have ignore that tbh.

I would have made them clean up the water on the floor but I wouldn't have sent them home. Tbh I'd have tried to avoid it becoming a battle at all, because I want my house to be somewhere my dc and their friends want to hang out. It's easier to say "when you're finished I'd appreciate to cleaning up" than lay down the law.